Congrats lady you're the same trash as your father, which is pretty realistic since people who had abusive parents often end being abusive to their children too.
yeah, its actually hard to break the cycle because of the trauma were ingrained into their minds. usually it need third party to mediate and show the truth so they can break the cycle. it need some outside the cycle to point out that you too, already inside the cycle of abuse.
her father didn't want her to commit to the duty to "protect and make her happy". but she actually happy doing her duty expected of her.
so she ingrained her daughter to commit to her duty, unlike her father did to her, because that what she want. ironically that not what her daughters wanted. just like her father didn't try to understand her, she didn't understand her own daughters. that's why she didn't realize that she too, is abusing her daughter because she did something different from her father so its is good.
it like someone that raised by high expectations parent that over push him to become the best,that make him broke under expectations and stress.
so he had a son and didn't put any expectations and push because he didn't his son suffer like him. only that he didn't know that his son feel unappreciated because he feel his father expect nothing from him.
the key here is communication. each person are different so you need to communicate clearly because sometimes it just misunderstanding that cause so much pain. it kinda sad actually. on different sides,.it actually love but it can be source of pain because of the way it conveyed.
it hard to balance between tough love and pampering on child and make them understand why we did that to them, and hard for them to tell us what they actually need as adult always feel they know better than a child.