Looks good to me, ngl.
Good font choice and most bubble texts seem well-centered, so you're doing well on that front.
Maybe the color chosen for the text is a bit too black compared to the grey to black tones we see on the pages; to my eyes it sort of stands out (but it may just be me over...
To add a little to what kenshiki said above, these events are sort of different from what happens in the WN (which is the OG story). We still need another chapter to see if some details from the OG plot reappear in this new version (LN and manga). Stuff like .
I can't say for sure if this is...
Well, yeah. The light novel introduced improvements and some twists, but I couldn't tell you much since there's only 3 volumes officially translated and I'm currently waiting for the next one.
There is a site that translated the web novel up to where is it atm, but I don't know remember if...