I wonder if it might be better in the original. If you phrased it as "I'd really like for you to do that" I don't think it'd be so bad and it's one of those things where a translation has the potential to mislead by being too literal.
But yeah, as it is here they're pretty awful.
The pitch is probably something like what if we take the dumbest shithead from a slasher-esque movie but it actually works out for him and he doesn't die.