Nanji, Hoshi no Gotoku - Vol. 2 Ch. 5

[MangaDex]

 

[Guyincognitus]

She should break up with her mom too.

 

[TropeStealer]

I wouldn't bother going home or the mom will constantly torment her.

 

[HoneyPopper]

where's the tragedy tag? this is so painful it's Boy's Abyss all over again...

 

[ipmanvsthemask]

It'd be nice to see this relationship from Aono's side. I genuinely don't understand how he became this neglectful of her.

 

[shawarmama]

every chapter feels like a brick thrown at me

 

[minayuki]

It'd be nice to see this relationship from Aono's side. I genuinely don't understand how he became this neglectful of her.

I've read the novel and tbh it makes me sad how the manga cut out SO MUCH important content. There was a whole chapter of them at age 22 from Kai's pov and it shows us how the downfall started and he is a lot worse in the novel, even I have a hard time trying to justify him

 

[BobSmegdorf]

WHAT THE FUCK KAI I wanted to get the gray feeling from this not depression.

 

[ipmanvsthemask]

I've read the novel and tbh it makes me sad how the manga cut out SO MUCH important content. There was a whole chapter of them at age 22 from Kai's pov and it shows us how the downfall started and he is a lot worse in the novel, even I have a hard time trying to justify him

You gotta spoil us. And did you read it in English?

 

[minayuki]

You gotta spoil us. And did you read it in English?

I read it in japanese since there's no eng ver unfortunately. I'll basically spoil whats missing up until this current chapter since there's a lot that happens during the relationship before the actual break up (even that scene is cut short and downplayed in the manga)

Spoiler

So the chapter of kais pov at age 22 starts off with kai waking up and finding a woman he doesn't know in his bed. he tried recalling the events of last night as he was out partying with his manga buddies and drank way too much, he ended up sharing a cab with a girl who claimed she was heading in the same direction and doesn't remember further than that. she wakes up and kisses him, offering to make him breakfast and the realization of what he did last night starts to sink in and he panics thinking of akimi. he realizes the girl wasn't nearly as drunk as he was last night. she asks if she'll see him again and he gives a vague response of "yeah, maybe" before leaving his apartment, telling her to put the key in the mailbox. he sees her dissatisfied face and thinks he's a total jerk.

after he leaves his apartment, he gets a text from akimi asking about obon plans, which makes him relieved when he thinks it's a long-distance relationship and there's no way she'd find out. and tries justifying it saying he just needs to cut back on alcohol and having too much to drink last night. he thinks about how exhausting his job is and how he wished to have akimi or anyone by his side. feeling guilty from having cheated, he decides to visit the island for this obon holiday. kai's mother texts him where she asks kai for money frequently and the amounts get higher as kai becomes more successful. the very same day after his meetings, he's slightly drunk and calls akimi on his way home where he almost blurts out "let's get married" but they have a nice conversation where she talks about doing embroidery and he reminisces on their high school days. he ends the call feeling happy but then gets a text from someone named Maho. its the same girl from that morning who texts him saying they should hang out again sometime and he responds "why don't you come over?" he thinks he should ignore it but can't stop himself, he wonders "what the hell am I doing? I have akimi who's always waiting for me, but then again maybe it's fine. that quiet island is my real home, and this woman is just a fleeting illusion. and no matter how many times i make love to this illusion, it'll stay an illusion." basically his inner monologue trying to justify himself.

he then visits the island for obon holidays and he's really tired. akimi asks if he was up late last night to which he says he had a meeting. He lied, he was actually shopping with Maho as he's slept with her several times at this point, and asked maho to help him buy a gift for his mom, then he bought maho some clothes and after having dinner together a fancy restaurant, they spent the night together at his apartment until the early hours of the morning. In his monologue he recalls (I've made it clear to maho that i'm in a serious relationship and shes okay with it. but i feel guilty about it so i try to buy her whatever she asks for.) later that evening, him and akimi walk down to the beach where akimi is trying to reminisce about their high school days to which kai feels bored and asks about her work which she's downcast about saying the usual and how she's just in a dead-end role bc of the sexism where women don't get promotions on the island. he starts yawning at her talk and akimi calmly asks if she's boring him to which he blurts out "should we get married?" he immediately regrets it but feels like he needs to marry her since there aren't many jobs on the island and it would be hard for akimi to date another guy on the island at this point (due to the island mindset that women with exes are "leftovers") akimi brushes him off which makes kai feel relieved but guilty. he wonders whether they've just grown up or lost their spark and that maybe feeling bored is normal for marriage. chapter ends

akimis pov chapter at age 25 shows us that 3 years have passed since that obon visit and their relationship has become stagnant. meanwhile kai has become super successful and earns so much more money, to the point he's upgraded from his small one bedroom apartment and bought a three bedroom apartment in tokyo. akimi recalls visiting his workplace and noticing a girl among the staff who seemed particularly downcast and akimi could immediately tell she and kai were involved. but like with his money, she didn't ask any questions bc she knew there were many others like her. she once found a scrunchie under his bed and laughed when kai didn't notice her tying her hair with it. it's pretty ambiguous in the manga, but in the novel its clear that over the last 3 years of their relationship he has been sleeping with multiple women regularly.

one night, after going to a club and kai spending over $1000 in a single night, kai asks her why she's in such a bad mood in the taxi on the way home. akimi tries to open up and tell him that he needs to be more careful with his money and stay grounded since he's getting carried away, also implying lots of people around him inc his mom are using him for his money. at this point, akimi felt like he was in another world and couldnt understand her struggles where shes struggling to save enough money to look after her mom while making trips to tokyo. kai gets mad at her for calling him out and gets out of the taxi and switches to another one, which makes akimi wonder where he's heading this late at night but remembers the scrunchie she found. akimi figured out he was cheating basically when it started when he visited the island 3 years ago, she asked him who helped him pick out the gift for his mom and he lied saying "Satoru". she knew he said it so naturally that it had to be a lie and didn't trust him after that. what hurt her more than him lying was her stifling a yawn while listening to her talk. it made her realize that kai saw her as the island: always there, a place to occasionally return to for comfort, but a place that become too boring if you stayed too long. she wonders why kai proposed back then and how she shouldve confronted him about the cheating but was too scared about what would happen if she pushed him away. She thinks 'in a long distance relationship, every fight felt like it could be the last, and i have nothing that would give me the upper hand with kai. so she feels trapped in this miserable situation putting up with other women. akimi returns to kai's apartment and falls alseep on the sofa, and wakes up when kai comes back in the early hours of the morning. akimi points out they lay in bed holding hands but they didn't have s*x after he came back(basically implying he went off to sleep with someone else after ditching her in the cab). she tries to hold onto the hope that she's stilled loved.

in the present day, akimi gets a text from kai saying he can't see her this year during obon. they don't msg each other frequently, only once a week and sometimes even less. akimi wishes kai would just break up with her but knows much like his relationship with his mother, he has a deep sense of obligation and can't bring himself to sever ties. the rest of the chapter happens the same as the manga chapter. akimi thinks that ever since the first time he cheated and after his proposal, kai stopped talking about his work in detail and just respond to her dismissively saying he just wants to relax with her. when she visits him at the hotel, shes trying so hard to engage with him but he's just brushing her off and not caring. she feels angry at his words "if me working is a problem then we just wont be able to meet anymore" as his words felt like a threat "if you love me, you should just put up with it. otherwise it'll be the end of us. akimi wonders when did she let things get to the point where kai felt like he could say that to her and thinks 'im not just some cuddly stuffed animal that exists solely to comfort you, i'm a real person and i'm your girlfriend.'

she tries to feel proud about her embroidery achievements but he just dismisses her saying she should just enjoy it as a hobby as shes not making profit. at this point, kai tunes out of the conversation entirely until akimi snaps and says shes had enough and that she wants him to argue with her for once about things that bothers him to which he gets annoyed and says "why do we need to fight on purpose". its only when she says "if you dont love me anymore, then just say it" he freaks out and asks if they should get married. akimi thinks about how cruel kai is and who'd be happy about being proposed to like this, out of obligation? even now, he couldnt commit to a decision and threw the idea of marriage onto her and forcing her to make the choice. she says they should break up and he pulls her onto the bed and tries to take off her clothes, and its more intense in the novel where shes fighting him off and shoving him away until they collapse on the bed. kai passes out and akimi reflects on the relationship and what hurts her the most wasn't how kai treated her but how he saw her as someone not worth taking seriously. she realizes she couldnt even find value in her current self which is why she couldnt speak up. she realizes how shes hoping deep down that marrying kai will be her ticket to freedom and just wants to rely on him to look after her.

she comes to the conclusion shes just like her mom in the sense that she watched her mother live in discomfort for years, unable to support herself with her entire life resting on a man who could leave at any moment. akimi doesn't want this to be her and knows staying with kai will keep her trapped in the stagnant position where she hasnt achieved anything of her own or can stand on her own two feet. in her mind, she begs kai to wake up and tell her not to leave as she'll let herself give up everything for him, no matter how tough things get. ultimately, he doesn't wake up, and she leaves the hotel. end of chapter. there's a lot more detailed thoughts in the novel where it shows their mindset and how they perceive situations and its very realistic despite frustrating. their relationship had way too many problems that communication alone wouldnt even begin to scratch the surface

 

[ipmanvsthemask]

their relationship had way too many problems that communication alone wouldnt even begin to scratch the surface

Beyond just the difference of lifestyle and success, what other problems so they have?

 

[mr_vanilla]

I read it in japanese since there's no eng ver unfortunately. I'll basically spoil whats missing up until this current chapter since there's a lot that happens during the relationship before the actual break up (even that scene is cut short and downplayed in the manga)

Spoiler

So the chapter of kais pov at age 22 starts off with kai waking up and finding a woman he doesn't know in his bed. he tried recalling the events of last night as he was out partying with his manga buddies and drank way too much, he ended up sharing a cab with a girl who claimed she was heading in the same direction and doesn't remember further than that. she wakes up and kisses him, offering to make him breakfast and the realization of what he did last night starts to sink in and he panics thinking of akimi. he realizes the girl wasn't nearly as drunk as he was last night. she asks if she'll see him again and he gives a vague response of "yeah, maybe" before leaving his apartment, telling her to put the key in the mailbox. he sees her dissatisfied face and thinks he's a total jerk.

after he leaves his apartment, he gets a text from akimi asking about obon plans, which makes him relieved when he thinks it's a long-distance relationship and there's no way she'd find out. and tries justifying it saying he just needs to cut back on alcohol and having too much to drink last night. he thinks about how exhausting his job is and how he wished to have akimi or anyone by his side. feeling guilty from having cheated, he decides to visit the island for this obon holiday. kai's mother texts him where she asks kai for money frequently and the amounts get higher as kai becomes more successful. the very same day after his meetings, he's slightly drunk and calls akimi on his way home where he almost blurts out "let's get married" but they have a nice conversation where she talks about doing embroidery and he reminisces on their high school days. he ends the call feeling happy but then gets a text from someone named Maho. its the same girl from that morning who texts him saying they should hang out again sometime and he responds "why don't you come over?" he thinks he should ignore it but can't stop himself, he wonders "what the hell am I doing? I have akimi who's always waiting for me, but then again maybe it's fine. that quiet island is my real home, and this woman is just a fleeting illusion. and no matter how many times i make love to this illusion, it'll stay an illusion." basically his inner monologue trying to justify himself.

he then visits the island for obon holidays and he's really tired. akimi asks if he was up late last night to which he says he had a meeting. He lied, he was actually shopping with Maho as he's slept with her several times at this point, and asked maho to help him buy a gift for his mom, then he bought maho some clothes and after having dinner together a fancy restaurant, they spent the night together at his apartment until the early hours of the morning. In his monologue he recalls (I've made it clear to maho that i'm in a serious relationship and shes okay with it. but i feel guilty about it so i try to buy her whatever she asks for.) later that evening, him and akimi walk down to the beach where akimi is trying to reminisce about their high school days to which kai feels bored and asks about her work which she's downcast about saying the usual and how she's just in a dead-end role bc of the sexism where women don't get promotions on the island. he starts yawning at her talk and akimi calmly asks if she's boring him to which he blurts out "should we get married?" he immediately regrets it but feels like he needs to marry her since there aren't many jobs on the island and it would be hard for akimi to date another guy on the island at this point (due to the island mindset that women with exes are "leftovers") akimi brushes him off which makes kai feel relieved but guilty. he wonders whether they've just grown up or lost their spark and that maybe feeling bored is normal for marriage. chapter ends

akimis pov chapter at age 25 shows us that 3 years have passed since that obon visit and their relationship has become stagnant. meanwhile kai has become super successful and earns so much more money, to the point he's upgraded from his small one bedroom apartment and bought a three bedroom apartment in tokyo. akimi recalls visiting his workplace and noticing a girl among the staff who seemed particularly downcast and akimi could immediately tell she and kai were involved. but like with his money, she didn't ask any questions bc she knew there were many others like her. she once found a scrunchie under his bed and laughed when kai didn't notice her tying her hair with it. it's pretty ambiguous in the manga, but in the novel its clear that over the last 3 years of their relationship he has been sleeping with multiple women regularly.

one night, after going to a club and kai spending over $1000 in a single night, kai asks her why she's in such a bad mood in the taxi on the way home. akimi tries to open up and tell him that he needs to be more careful with his money and stay grounded since he's getting carried away, also implying lots of people around him inc his mom are using him for his money. at this point, akimi felt like he was in another world and couldnt understand her struggles where shes struggling to save enough money to look after her mom while making trips to tokyo. kai gets mad at her for calling him out and gets out of the taxi and switches to another one, which makes akimi wonder where he's heading this late at night but remembers the scrunchie she found. akimi figured out he was cheating basically when it started when he visited the island 3 years ago, she asked him who helped him pick out the gift for his mom and he lied saying "Satoru". she knew he said it so naturally that it had to be a lie and didn't trust him after that. what hurt her more than him lying was her stifling a yawn while listening to her talk. it made her realize that kai saw her as the island: always there, a place to occasionally return to for comfort, but a place that become too boring if you stayed too long. she wonders why kai proposed back then and how she shouldve confronted him about the cheating but was too scared about what would happen if she pushed him away. She thinks 'in a long distance relationship, every fight felt like it could be the last, and i have nothing that would give me the upper hand with kai. so she feels trapped in this miserable situation putting up with other women. akimi returns to kai's apartment and falls alseep on the sofa, and wakes up when kai comes back in the early hours of the morning. akimi points out they lay in bed holding hands but they didn't have s*x after he came back(basically implying he went off to sleep with someone else after ditching her in the cab). she tries to hold onto the hope that she's stilled loved.

in the present day, akimi gets a text from kai saying he can't see her this year during obon. they don't msg each other frequently, only once a week and sometimes even less. akimi wishes kai would just break up with her but knows much like his relationship with his mother, he has a deep sense of obligation and can't bring himself to sever ties. the rest of the chapter happens the same as the manga chapter. akimi thinks that ever since the first time he cheated and after his proposal, kai stopped talking about his work in detail and just respond to her dismissively saying he just wants to relax with her. when she visits him at the hotel, shes trying so hard to engage with him but he's just brushing her off and not caring. she feels angry at his words "if me working is a problem then we just wont be able to meet anymore" as his words felt like a threat "if you love me, you should just put up with it. otherwise it'll be the end of us. akimi wonders when did she let things get to the point where kai felt like he could say that to her and thinks 'im not just some cuddly stuffed animal that exists solely to comfort you, i'm a real person and i'm your girlfriend.'

she tries to feel proud about her embroidery achievements but he just dismisses her saying she should just enjoy it as a hobby as shes not making profit. at this point, kai tunes out of the conversation entirely until akimi snaps and says shes had enough and that she wants him to argue with her for once about things that bothers him to which he gets annoyed and says "why do we need to fight on purpose". its only when she says "if you dont love me anymore, then just say it" he freaks out and asks if they should get married. akimi thinks about how cruel kai is and who'd be happy about being proposed to like this, out of obligation? even now, he couldnt commit to a decision and threw the idea of marriage onto her and forcing her to make the choice. she says they should break up and he pulls her onto the bed and tries to take off her clothes, and its more intense in the novel where shes fighting him off and shoving him away until they collapse on the bed. kai passes out and akimi reflects on the relationship and what hurts her the most wasn't how kai treated her but how he saw her as someone not worth taking seriously. she realizes she couldnt even find value in her current self which is why she couldnt speak up. she realizes how shes hoping deep down that marrying kai will be her ticket to freedom and just wants to rely on him to look after her.

she comes to the conclusion shes just like her mom in the sense that she watched her mother live in discomfort for years, unable to support herself with her entire life resting on a man who could leave at any moment. akimi doesn't want this to be her and knows staying with kai will keep her trapped in the stagnant position where she hasnt achieved anything of her own or can stand on her own two feet. in her mind, she begs kai to wake up and tell her not to leave as she'll let herself give up everything for him, no matter how tough things get. ultimately, he doesn't wake up, and she leaves the hotel. end of chapter. there's a lot more detailed thoughts in the novel where it shows their mindset and how they perceive situations and its very realistic despite frustrating. their relationship had way too many problems that communication alone wouldnt even begin to scratch the surface

Thanks for the spoilers! This is too heartbreaking I feel for Akimi and can’t bring myself to forgive Kai. I hope they stay broken up and Akimi learns to value herself and maybe find another man (wishful thinking 🤧)

 

[shawarmama]

I read it in japanese since there's no eng ver unfortunately. I'll basically spoil whats missing up until this current chapter since there's a lot that happens during the relationship before the actual break up (even that scene is cut short and downplayed in the manga)

Spoiler

So the chapter of kais pov at age 22 starts off with kai waking up and finding a woman he doesn't know in his bed. he tried recalling the events of last night as he was out partying with his manga buddies and drank way too much, he ended up sharing a cab with a girl who claimed she was heading in the same direction and doesn't remember further than that. she wakes up and kisses him, offering to make him breakfast and the realization of what he did last night starts to sink in and he panics thinking of akimi. he realizes the girl wasn't nearly as drunk as he was last night. she asks if she'll see him again and he gives a vague response of "yeah, maybe" before leaving his apartment, telling her to put the key in the mailbox. he sees her dissatisfied face and thinks he's a total jerk.

after he leaves his apartment, he gets a text from akimi asking about obon plans, which makes him relieved when he thinks it's a long-distance relationship and there's no way she'd find out. and tries justifying it saying he just needs to cut back on alcohol and having too much to drink last night. he thinks about how exhausting his job is and how he wished to have akimi or anyone by his side. feeling guilty from having cheated, he decides to visit the island for this obon holiday. kai's mother texts him where she asks kai for money frequently and the amounts get higher as kai becomes more successful. the very same day after his meetings, he's slightly drunk and calls akimi on his way home where he almost blurts out "let's get married" but they have a nice conversation where she talks about doing embroidery and he reminisces on their high school days. he ends the call feeling happy but then gets a text from someone named Maho. its the same girl from that morning who texts him saying they should hang out again sometime and he responds "why don't you come over?" he thinks he should ignore it but can't stop himself, he wonders "what the hell am I doing? I have akimi who's always waiting for me, but then again maybe it's fine. that quiet island is my real home, and this woman is just a fleeting illusion. and no matter how many times i make love to this illusion, it'll stay an illusion." basically his inner monologue trying to justify himself.

he then visits the island for obon holidays and he's really tired. akimi asks if he was up late last night to which he says he had a meeting. He lied, he was actually shopping with Maho as he's slept with her several times at this point, and asked maho to help him buy a gift for his mom, then he bought maho some clothes and after having dinner together a fancy restaurant, they spent the night together at his apartment until the early hours of the morning. In his monologue he recalls (I've made it clear to maho that i'm in a serious relationship and shes okay with it. but i feel guilty about it so i try to buy her whatever she asks for.) later that evening, him and akimi walk down to the beach where akimi is trying to reminisce about their high school days to which kai feels bored and asks about her work which she's downcast about saying the usual and how she's just in a dead-end role bc of the sexism where women don't get promotions on the island. he starts yawning at her talk and akimi calmly asks if she's boring him to which he blurts out "should we get married?" he immediately regrets it but feels like he needs to marry her since there aren't many jobs on the island and it would be hard for akimi to date another guy on the island at this point (due to the island mindset that women with exes are "leftovers") akimi brushes him off which makes kai feel relieved but guilty. he wonders whether they've just grown up or lost their spark and that maybe feeling bored is normal for marriage. chapter ends

akimis pov chapter at age 25 shows us that 3 years have passed since that obon visit and their relationship has become stagnant. meanwhile kai has become super successful and earns so much more money, to the point he's upgraded from his small one bedroom apartment and bought a three bedroom apartment in tokyo. akimi recalls visiting his workplace and noticing a girl among the staff who seemed particularly downcast and akimi could immediately tell she and kai were involved. but like with his money, she didn't ask any questions bc she knew there were many others like her. she once found a scrunchie under his bed and laughed when kai didn't notice her tying her hair with it. it's pretty ambiguous in the manga, but in the novel its clear that over the last 3 years of their relationship he has been sleeping with multiple women regularly.

one night, after going to a club and kai spending over $1000 in a single night, kai asks her why she's in such a bad mood in the taxi on the way home. akimi tries to open up and tell him that he needs to be more careful with his money and stay grounded since he's getting carried away, also implying lots of people around him inc his mom are using him for his money. at this point, akimi felt like he was in another world and couldnt understand her struggles where shes struggling to save enough money to look after her mom while making trips to tokyo. kai gets mad at her for calling him out and gets out of the taxi and switches to another one, which makes akimi wonder where he's heading this late at night but remembers the scrunchie she found. akimi figured out he was cheating basically when it started when he visited the island 3 years ago, she asked him who helped him pick out the gift for his mom and he lied saying "Satoru". she knew he said it so naturally that it had to be a lie and didn't trust him after that. what hurt her more than him lying was her stifling a yawn while listening to her talk. it made her realize that kai saw her as the island: always there, a place to occasionally return to for comfort, but a place that become too boring if you stayed too long. she wonders why kai proposed back then and how she shouldve confronted him about the cheating but was too scared about what would happen if she pushed him away. She thinks 'in a long distance relationship, every fight felt like it could be the last, and i have nothing that would give me the upper hand with kai. so she feels trapped in this miserable situation putting up with other women. akimi returns to kai's apartment and falls alseep on the sofa, and wakes up when kai comes back in the early hours of the morning. akimi points out they lay in bed holding hands but they didn't have s*x after he came back(basically implying he went off to sleep with someone else after ditching her in the cab). she tries to hold onto the hope that she's stilled loved.

in the present day, akimi gets a text from kai saying he can't see her this year during obon. they don't msg each other frequently, only once a week and sometimes even less. akimi wishes kai would just break up with her but knows much like his relationship with his mother, he has a deep sense of obligation and can't bring himself to sever ties. the rest of the chapter happens the same as the manga chapter. akimi thinks that ever since the first time he cheated and after his proposal, kai stopped talking about his work in detail and just respond to her dismissively saying he just wants to relax with her. when she visits him at the hotel, shes trying so hard to engage with him but he's just brushing her off and not caring. she feels angry at his words "if me working is a problem then we just wont be able to meet anymore" as his words felt like a threat "if you love me, you should just put up with it. otherwise it'll be the end of us. akimi wonders when did she let things get to the point where kai felt like he could say that to her and thinks 'im not just some cuddly stuffed animal that exists solely to comfort you, i'm a real person and i'm your girlfriend.'

she tries to feel proud about her embroidery achievements but he just dismisses her saying she should just enjoy it as a hobby as shes not making profit. at this point, kai tunes out of the conversation entirely until akimi snaps and says shes had enough and that she wants him to argue with her for once about things that bothers him to which he gets annoyed and says "why do we need to fight on purpose". its only when she says "if you dont love me anymore, then just say it" he freaks out and asks if they should get married. akimi thinks about how cruel kai is and who'd be happy about being proposed to like this, out of obligation? even now, he couldnt commit to a decision and threw the idea of marriage onto her and forcing her to make the choice. she says they should break up and he pulls her onto the bed and tries to take off her clothes, and its more intense in the novel where shes fighting him off and shoving him away until they collapse on the bed. kai passes out and akimi reflects on the relationship and what hurts her the most wasn't how kai treated her but how he saw her as someone not worth taking seriously. she realizes she couldnt even find value in her current self which is why she couldnt speak up. she realizes how shes hoping deep down that marrying kai will be her ticket to freedom and just wants to rely on him to look after her.

she comes to the conclusion shes just like her mom in the sense that she watched her mother live in discomfort for years, unable to support herself with her entire life resting on a man who could leave at any moment. akimi doesn't want this to be her and knows staying with kai will keep her trapped in the stagnant position where she hasnt achieved anything of her own or can stand on her own two feet. in her mind, she begs kai to wake up and tell her not to leave as she'll let herself give up everything for him, no matter how tough things get. ultimately, he doesn't wake up, and she leaves the hotel. end of chapter. there's a lot more detailed thoughts in the novel where it shows their mindset and how they perceive situations and its very realistic despite frustrating. their relationship had way too many problems that communication alone wouldnt even begin to scratch the surface

omg i need to read the novel so bad

 

[cogniferous]

I read it in japanese since there's no eng ver unfortunately. I'll basically spoil whats missing up until this current chapter since there's a lot that happens during the relationship before the actual break up (even that scene is cut short and downplayed in the manga)

Spoiler

So the chapter of kais pov at age 22 starts off with kai waking up and finding a woman he doesn't know in his bed. he tried recalling the events of last night as he was out partying with his manga buddies and drank way too much, he ended up sharing a cab with a girl who claimed she was heading in the same direction and doesn't remember further than that. she wakes up and kisses him, offering to make him breakfast and the realization of what he did last night starts to sink in and he panics thinking of akimi. he realizes the girl wasn't nearly as drunk as he was last night. she asks if she'll see him again and he gives a vague response of "yeah, maybe" before leaving his apartment, telling her to put the key in the mailbox. he sees her dissatisfied face and thinks he's a total jerk.

after he leaves his apartment, he gets a text from akimi asking about obon plans, which makes him relieved when he thinks it's a long-distance relationship and there's no way she'd find out. and tries justifying it saying he just needs to cut back on alcohol and having too much to drink last night. he thinks about how exhausting his job is and how he wished to have akimi or anyone by his side. feeling guilty from having cheated, he decides to visit the island for this obon holiday. kai's mother texts him where she asks kai for money frequently and the amounts get higher as kai becomes more successful. the very same day after his meetings, he's slightly drunk and calls akimi on his way home where he almost blurts out "let's get married" but they have a nice conversation where she talks about doing embroidery and he reminisces on their high school days. he ends the call feeling happy but then gets a text from someone named Maho. its the same girl from that morning who texts him saying they should hang out again sometime and he responds "why don't you come over?" he thinks he should ignore it but can't stop himself, he wonders "what the hell am I doing? I have akimi who's always waiting for me, but then again maybe it's fine. that quiet island is my real home, and this woman is just a fleeting illusion. and no matter how many times i make love to this illusion, it'll stay an illusion." basically his inner monologue trying to justify himself.

he then visits the island for obon holidays and he's really tired. akimi asks if he was up late last night to which he says he had a meeting. He lied, he was actually shopping with Maho as he's slept with her several times at this point, and asked maho to help him buy a gift for his mom, then he bought maho some clothes and after having dinner together a fancy restaurant, they spent the night together at his apartment until the early hours of the morning. In his monologue he recalls (I've made it clear to maho that i'm in a serious relationship and shes okay with it. but i feel guilty about it so i try to buy her whatever she asks for.) later that evening, him and akimi walk down to the beach where akimi is trying to reminisce about their high school days to which kai feels bored and asks about her work which she's downcast about saying the usual and how she's just in a dead-end role bc of the sexism where women don't get promotions on the island. he starts yawning at her talk and akimi calmly asks if she's boring him to which he blurts out "should we get married?" he immediately regrets it but feels like he needs to marry her since there aren't many jobs on the island and it would be hard for akimi to date another guy on the island at this point (due to the island mindset that women with exes are "leftovers") akimi brushes him off which makes kai feel relieved but guilty. he wonders whether they've just grown up or lost their spark and that maybe feeling bored is normal for marriage. chapter ends

akimis pov chapter at age 25 shows us that 3 years have passed since that obon visit and their relationship has become stagnant. meanwhile kai has become super successful and earns so much more money, to the point he's upgraded from his small one bedroom apartment and bought a three bedroom apartment in tokyo. akimi recalls visiting his workplace and noticing a girl among the staff who seemed particularly downcast and akimi could immediately tell she and kai were involved. but like with his money, she didn't ask any questions bc she knew there were many others like her. she once found a scrunchie under his bed and laughed when kai didn't notice her tying her hair with it. it's pretty ambiguous in the manga, but in the novel its clear that over the last 3 years of their relationship he has been sleeping with multiple women regularly.

one night, after going to a club and kai spending over $1000 in a single night, kai asks her why she's in such a bad mood in the taxi on the way home. akimi tries to open up and tell him that he needs to be more careful with his money and stay grounded since he's getting carried away, also implying lots of people around him inc his mom are using him for his money. at this point, akimi felt like he was in another world and couldnt understand her struggles where shes struggling to save enough money to look after her mom while making trips to tokyo. kai gets mad at her for calling him out and gets out of the taxi and switches to another one, which makes akimi wonder where he's heading this late at night but remembers the scrunchie she found. akimi figured out he was cheating basically when it started when he visited the island 3 years ago, she asked him who helped him pick out the gift for his mom and he lied saying "Satoru". she knew he said it so naturally that it had to be a lie and didn't trust him after that. what hurt her more than him lying was her stifling a yawn while listening to her talk. it made her realize that kai saw her as the island: always there, a place to occasionally return to for comfort, but a place that become too boring if you stayed too long. she wonders why kai proposed back then and how she shouldve confronted him about the cheating but was too scared about what would happen if she pushed him away. She thinks 'in a long distance relationship, every fight felt like it could be the last, and i have nothing that would give me the upper hand with kai. so she feels trapped in this miserable situation putting up with other women. akimi returns to kai's apartment and falls alseep on the sofa, and wakes up when kai comes back in the early hours of the morning. akimi points out they lay in bed holding hands but they didn't have s*x after he came back(basically implying he went off to sleep with someone else after ditching her in the cab). she tries to hold onto the hope that she's stilled loved.

in the present day, akimi gets a text from kai saying he can't see her this year during obon. they don't msg each other frequently, only once a week and sometimes even less. akimi wishes kai would just break up with her but knows much like his relationship with his mother, he has a deep sense of obligation and can't bring himself to sever ties. the rest of the chapter happens the same as the manga chapter. akimi thinks that ever since the first time he cheated and after his proposal, kai stopped talking about his work in detail and just respond to her dismissively saying he just wants to relax with her. when she visits him at the hotel, shes trying so hard to engage with him but he's just brushing her off and not caring. she feels angry at his words "if me working is a problem then we just wont be able to meet anymore" as his words felt like a threat "if you love me, you should just put up with it. otherwise it'll be the end of us. akimi wonders when did she let things get to the point where kai felt like he could say that to her and thinks 'im not just some cuddly stuffed animal that exists solely to comfort you, i'm a real person and i'm your girlfriend.'

she tries to feel proud about her embroidery achievements but he just dismisses her saying she should just enjoy it as a hobby as shes not making profit. at this point, kai tunes out of the conversation entirely until akimi snaps and says shes had enough and that she wants him to argue with her for once about things that bothers him to which he gets annoyed and says "why do we need to fight on purpose". its only when she says "if you dont love me anymore, then just say it" he freaks out and asks if they should get married. akimi thinks about how cruel kai is and who'd be happy about being proposed to like this, out of obligation? even now, he couldnt commit to a decision and threw the idea of marriage onto her and forcing her to make the choice. she says they should break up and he pulls her onto the bed and tries to take off her clothes, and its more intense in the novel where shes fighting him off and shoving him away until they collapse on the bed. kai passes out and akimi reflects on the relationship and what hurts her the most wasn't how kai treated her but how he saw her as someone not worth taking seriously. she realizes she couldnt even find value in her current self which is why she couldnt speak up. she realizes how shes hoping deep down that marrying kai will be her ticket to freedom and just wants to rely on him to look after her.

she comes to the conclusion shes just like her mom in the sense that she watched her mother live in discomfort for years, unable to support herself with her entire life resting on a man who could leave at any moment. akimi doesn't want this to be her and knows staying with kai will keep her trapped in the stagnant position where she hasnt achieved anything of her own or can stand on her own two feet. in her mind, she begs kai to wake up and tell her not to leave as she'll let herself give up everything for him, no matter how tough things get. ultimately, he doesn't wake up, and she leaves the hotel. end of chapter. there's a lot more detailed thoughts in the novel where it shows their mindset and how they perceive situations and its very realistic despite frustrating. their relationship had way too many problems that communication alone wouldnt even begin to scratch the surface

man someone told me the rough story beats a while back but I didn't realize

Spoiler

kai got this fucking bad

I guess some of the later stuff makes sense with this context

 

[kirigal]

I read it in japanese since there's no eng ver unfortunately. I'll basically spoil whats missing up until this current chapter since there's a lot that happens during the relationship before the actual break up (even that scene is cut short and downplayed in the manga)

Spoiler

So the chapter of kais pov at age 22 starts off with kai waking up and finding a woman he doesn't know in his bed. he tried recalling the events of last night as he was out partying with his manga buddies and drank way too much, he ended up sharing a cab with a girl who claimed she was heading in the same direction and doesn't remember further than that. she wakes up and kisses him, offering to make him breakfast and the realization of what he did last night starts to sink in and he panics thinking of akimi. he realizes the girl wasn't nearly as drunk as he was last night. she asks if she'll see him again and he gives a vague response of "yeah, maybe" before leaving his apartment, telling her to put the key in the mailbox. he sees her dissatisfied face and thinks he's a total jerk.

after he leaves his apartment, he gets a text from akimi asking about obon plans, which makes him relieved when he thinks it's a long-distance relationship and there's no way she'd find out. and tries justifying it saying he just needs to cut back on alcohol and having too much to drink last night. he thinks about how exhausting his job is and how he wished to have akimi or anyone by his side. feeling guilty from having cheated, he decides to visit the island for this obon holiday. kai's mother texts him where she asks kai for money frequently and the amounts get higher as kai becomes more successful. the very same day after his meetings, he's slightly drunk and calls akimi on his way home where he almost blurts out "let's get married" but they have a nice conversation where she talks about doing embroidery and he reminisces on their high school days. he ends the call feeling happy but then gets a text from someone named Maho. its the same girl from that morning who texts him saying they should hang out again sometime and he responds "why don't you come over?" he thinks he should ignore it but can't stop himself, he wonders "what the hell am I doing? I have akimi who's always waiting for me, but then again maybe it's fine. that quiet island is my real home, and this woman is just a fleeting illusion. and no matter how many times i make love to this illusion, it'll stay an illusion." basically his inner monologue trying to justify himself.

he then visits the island for obon holidays and he's really tired. akimi asks if he was up late last night to which he says he had a meeting. He lied, he was actually shopping with Maho as he's slept with her several times at this point, and asked maho to help him buy a gift for his mom, then he bought maho some clothes and after having dinner together a fancy restaurant, they spent the night together at his apartment until the early hours of the morning. In his monologue he recalls (I've made it clear to maho that i'm in a serious relationship and shes okay with it. but i feel guilty about it so i try to buy her whatever she asks for.) later that evening, him and akimi walk down to the beach where akimi is trying to reminisce about their high school days to which kai feels bored and asks about her work which she's downcast about saying the usual and how she's just in a dead-end role bc of the sexism where women don't get promotions on the island. he starts yawning at her talk and akimi calmly asks if she's boring him to which he blurts out "should we get married?" he immediately regrets it but feels like he needs to marry her since there aren't many jobs on the island and it would be hard for akimi to date another guy on the island at this point (due to the island mindset that women with exes are "leftovers") akimi brushes him off which makes kai feel relieved but guilty. he wonders whether they've just grown up or lost their spark and that maybe feeling bored is normal for marriage. chapter ends

akimis pov chapter at age 25 shows us that 3 years have passed since that obon visit and their relationship has become stagnant. meanwhile kai has become super successful and earns so much more money, to the point he's upgraded from his small one bedroom apartment and bought a three bedroom apartment in tokyo. akimi recalls visiting his workplace and noticing a girl among the staff who seemed particularly downcast and akimi could immediately tell she and kai were involved. but like with his money, she didn't ask any questions bc she knew there were many others like her. she once found a scrunchie under his bed and laughed when kai didn't notice her tying her hair with it. it's pretty ambiguous in the manga, but in the novel its clear that over the last 3 years of their relationship he has been sleeping with multiple women regularly.

one night, after going to a club and kai spending over $1000 in a single night, kai asks her why she's in such a bad mood in the taxi on the way home. akimi tries to open up and tell him that he needs to be more careful with his money and stay grounded since he's getting carried away, also implying lots of people around him inc his mom are using him for his money. at this point, akimi felt like he was in another world and couldnt understand her struggles where shes struggling to save enough money to look after her mom while making trips to tokyo. kai gets mad at her for calling him out and gets out of the taxi and switches to another one, which makes akimi wonder where he's heading this late at night but remembers the scrunchie she found. akimi figured out he was cheating basically when it started when he visited the island 3 years ago, she asked him who helped him pick out the gift for his mom and he lied saying "Satoru". she knew he said it so naturally that it had to be a lie and didn't trust him after that. what hurt her more than him lying was her stifling a yawn while listening to her talk. it made her realize that kai saw her as the island: always there, a place to occasionally return to for comfort, but a place that become too boring if you stayed too long. she wonders why kai proposed back then and how she shouldve confronted him about the cheating but was too scared about what would happen if she pushed him away. She thinks 'in a long distance relationship, every fight felt like it could be the last, and i have nothing that would give me the upper hand with kai. so she feels trapped in this miserable situation putting up with other women. akimi returns to kai's apartment and falls alseep on the sofa, and wakes up when kai comes back in the early hours of the morning. akimi points out they lay in bed holding hands but they didn't have s*x after he came back(basically implying he went off to sleep with someone else after ditching her in the cab). she tries to hold onto the hope that she's stilled loved.

in the present day, akimi gets a text from kai saying he can't see her this year during obon. they don't msg each other frequently, only once a week and sometimes even less. akimi wishes kai would just break up with her but knows much like his relationship with his mother, he has a deep sense of obligation and can't bring himself to sever ties. the rest of the chapter happens the same as the manga chapter. akimi thinks that ever since the first time he cheated and after his proposal, kai stopped talking about his work in detail and just respond to her dismissively saying he just wants to relax with her. when she visits him at the hotel, shes trying so hard to engage with him but he's just brushing her off and not caring. she feels angry at his words "if me working is a problem then we just wont be able to meet anymore" as his words felt like a threat "if you love me, you should just put up with it. otherwise it'll be the end of us. akimi wonders when did she let things get to the point where kai felt like he could say that to her and thinks 'im not just some cuddly stuffed animal that exists solely to comfort you, i'm a real person and i'm your girlfriend.'

she tries to feel proud about her embroidery achievements but he just dismisses her saying she should just enjoy it as a hobby as shes not making profit. at this point, kai tunes out of the conversation entirely until akimi snaps and says shes had enough and that she wants him to argue with her for once about things that bothers him to which he gets annoyed and says "why do we need to fight on purpose". its only when she says "if you dont love me anymore, then just say it" he freaks out and asks if they should get married. akimi thinks about how cruel kai is and who'd be happy about being proposed to like this, out of obligation? even now, he couldnt commit to a decision and threw the idea of marriage onto her and forcing her to make the choice. she says they should break up and he pulls her onto the bed and tries to take off her clothes, and its more intense in the novel where shes fighting him off and shoving him away until they collapse on the bed. kai passes out and akimi reflects on the relationship and what hurts her the most wasn't how kai treated her but how he saw her as someone not worth taking seriously. she realizes she couldnt even find value in her current self which is why she couldnt speak up. she realizes how shes hoping deep down that marrying kai will be her ticket to freedom and just wants to rely on him to look after her.

she comes to the conclusion shes just like her mom in the sense that she watched her mother live in discomfort for years, unable to support herself with her entire life resting on a man who could leave at any moment. akimi doesn't want this to be her and knows staying with kai will keep her trapped in the stagnant position where she hasnt achieved anything of her own or can stand on her own two feet. in her mind, she begs kai to wake up and tell her not to leave as she'll let herself give up everything for him, no matter how tough things get. ultimately, he doesn't wake up, and she leaves the hotel. end of chapter. there's a lot more detailed thoughts in the novel where it shows their mindset and how they perceive situations and its very realistic despite frustrating. their relationship had way too many problems that communication alone wouldnt even begin to scratch the surface

omgg, thanks for sharing this 😭😭😭

 

[Guyincognitus]

Beyond just the difference of lifestyle and success, what other problems so they have?

Kai's serial cheating for a start. And then there's the fact that Kai doesn't respect Akimi as his girlfriend or even as a person worth engaging with emotionally. Then there's Akimi whose self-worth has been bashed to smithereens enough to have given Kai a free pass.

 

[ipmanvsthemask]

Kai's serial cheating for a start. And then there's the fact that Kai doesn't respect Akimi as his girlfriend or even as a person worth engaging with emotionally. Then there's Akimi whose self-worth has been bashed to smithereens enough to have given Kai a free pass.

No? Those are the consequences of w/e problems they had.

 

[Guyincognitus]

No? Those are the consequences of w/e problems they had.

Are you really going to sit here and say cheating in a relationship isn't a problem? You wanna die on that pedantic hill my guy?

Also, you're wrong. Someone refusing to emotionally engage with their partner is just about the most fundamental problem a couple could possibly have.

 

[ipmanvsthemask]

Are you really going to sit here and say cheating in a relationship isn't a problem? You wanna die on that pedantic hill my guy?

Also, you're wrong. Someone refusing to emotionally engage with their partner is just about the most fundamental problem a couple could possibly have.

I'm not saying it isn't bad, ok? But it didn't come out of nowhere. And I don't get where it came from just from that summary.

 

[Goyal99Raj]

Ignoring the not-included LN stuff for now, the issue here is just communication. These feelings should've been brought up ages ago.