...asking this here kind of seems like asking the local Mennonite church if someone can walk you through tuning up a four-barrel carburetor.
this is the only place where I feel comfortable to ask, but I guess you guys are clueless as I am lol
Which... probably indicates you should spend more time hanging out with people in meatspace. Having a group of friends in person you are comfortable talking about this with would be a good start.