MangaDex Forums

but most of all

i hate that i can't blame anyone but myself.


im a fool.

i do stupid stupid things.

i can't understand the reasons behind some of my actions besides impulse.

i can't even do the very little i do correctly.

i feel so purposeless when im not at work now

no friends, no future aspirations, and yet a tinge of self superiority.


maybe im a narcissist.

maybe im just an asshole.

even if i knew for sure i don't think i would have many more friends.

any tips to get over this feeling?

I learned that I shouldn't listen to these kind of thoughts when I'm in a dark place, because they don't come from me, but from an asshole.

I also felt really lonely, so I started playing MTG and as long as I could avoid the sweaty try hards, the people at friday night magic or at a playgroup on sundays were really nice and funny.

you can try to reassure yourself to ignore these things, but it is hard to ignore these things which plague my entire life and existence. i am alone. 99% of my social interactions are online. anything else is at my job and only for the purpose of getting money.