Slow down, twin! I’m pretty sure you're making a mountain out of a molehill. Everything is fine. Don't panic!
I totally get that! It's very hard to be vulnerable, especially if it's face-to-face, especially if you've been hurt over and over again, especially if you already feel vulnerable all the time and you can break at any moment. But I'd still encourage you to do it. It's worth feeling happy and secure. It's worth having the self-confidence and stability to face the good and bad times in life.TBH I wouldn't go to one because I don't want to talk about my feelings when someone knows my actual identity.
If you have these kinds of thoughts frequently, see a therapist.