When I first met my high school girlfriend, she'd skinned her knee while wearing tights, but she didn't want to take them off because she hadn't shaved her legs, so she just sat under a tree and picked threads out of her bleeding wound one. by. one.
MEMORIES
Uh, wait...how did we get from "I'll buy a thousand condoms for our special night alone" to "I invited two friends over for a drink?" Was he planning to squeeze dinner, a bath, and sister-devirginizing into the twenty minutes before they showed up?
Why didn't he just go in alone? He's the one with infinite lives, and a skeleton is pretty resistant to spider attacks anyway--he can't be poisoned to death, and he's got no soft bits to suck out.