@gravewind seems youre real confused about that bulge in your pants my friend. Id suggest goin to your doctor or parents to ask about it. They probably want to have the talk with you.
Imagine being such a cuck that when a friend, let alone a love interest, holds onto you and sobs after the death of a loved when, you don't have the bare minimum of human decency to hold them through their tough time. Couldn't be me.