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You did a better job with the grammar than some native english speaking translators. Seriously, this was very well done. The only short fall I found with the translation was the loss of emotion being conveyed in conversations/his thoughts. This can be fixed by swapping in context relevant words...

The art is fantastic and fits the premise pretty well, in both the comedic and technical departments... But talk about a waste of resources... This "overly doting mother" shit inhibits any kind of development whatsoever for the MC and any side characters we come across. I feel like there is...