Introduce the characters maybe. Give a bit of backstory to their dynamic, as well as characterize what she was like before she hit rock bottom. Think of it as a flashback, but front loaded.
In the pre-serialization one shot, it says at the beginning that their parents arranged their marriage. In the serialization, that boxed text is missing. Is it mentioned somewhere else? And if so, where? I might've missed it.
If I had a nickel for every time I read a manga with this kind of angsty plot, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.
Good work. Even with a somewhat typical narrative and set of themes, it explores all of that deeply enough to elevate itself beyond the stereotypical pretentious drama genre fiction that signals at depth without actually offering any real substance.
Ironically, Sound of Metal (the closest Oscar-nominated movie to this) was an underdog to win any Oscar besides sound design that year, but I get your broader point.
Most people are interested in superficial stories. They have trouble reconciling feelings of melancholy and emptiness. They rationalize these feelings as evidence of weakness in the author's writing, rather than actually engaging with these feelings and reconciling with the themes the author is...
also the author plans out the entire oneshot ahead of time, making for a more comprehensive narrative (in both expositional aspects and figurative/thematic aspects). sometimes manga chapters feel improvised, resulting in inconsistent tones and abrupt thematic setting.