Ahhhh thank you I was suddenly feeling quite lost this chapteronce again wtf. Had to reread this twice to fully understand what's going on.
Quick summary for anyone who may need:
1. Senpai is apparently also a witch, but she didn't know this. Senpai accidentally read MC's mind, which MC found out, so MC introduced Senpai to her uncle. Senpai is fucking talented in both acting and magic, so MC feels even more uncomfortable/jealous of Senpai, and MC also knows that Senpai likes her now so MC is just awkward around Senpai.
2. MC's mom doesn't want to teach her more advanced magic because apparently, you can just do magic if you try hard enough, and by teaching you to do it a certain way you will be limiting your creativity into thinking you can't do it any other ways.
That's why the mom acted cold to MC back then, to make MC scared of her so MC doesn't read her mind and know about it, because the mom fears that MC will make some irreversible mistakes if MC knows she can do advanced magic anytime she wants.
Imo that's shitty parenting and stupid as fuck. If the mom just talked about it & taught MC's to be responsible, maybe MC wouldn't have fucked up by casting a spell to force the short-haired girl to fall in love with her.
3. MC feels guilty for essentially brainwashing a girl into loving her, but she can't undo the spell just yet. It seems MC plan on doing the Little Mermaid play first, then quit theater/acting before finally undoing the spell.
However, Senpai doesn't like that plan because MC will be hurt by it, so she's here having a chat with the short-haired girl. I have no idea, what does she plan to do next.
For a fair comparison, it’s “I'm not looking down on anyone, but I really think I'll get the role – even if the small chance I won't is making me anxious”. The TL I was given was “I’m not looking down on anyone. But I totally feel like I’ll get the role. But even so, the off chance that I won’t is making me anxious.”, and I edited this into the version in the manga. Duplicating “but”, even using a synonym like “however”, is definitely more awkward than what I used, flowing less well. Sometimes simple English just isn’t enough to express a concept. Same for the other one: this one I didn’t edit from boke’s TL, but I do prefer it to what DeepL produced 🤷♀. The only authority I can wave is me beïng EFL and Nobody not flagging it, must count for somethingHere's what DeepL translated: "I don't look down on anyone else. But I had a feeling that I could definitely handle this role. However, the thought of the worst-case scenario still frightens me."
and if you edit it a bit: "I'm not looking down on anyone here, but I feel like I will get the role. However, the thought of failing still frightens me."
another weird sentence is: "To have it be because Maika-senpai is in love with me is just..." - page 5
DeepL translation: "I can't believe it was because Maika-senpai liked me."
I'm not saying the translation is wrong, it's just the way it's worded makes the entire reading experience feels very clunky/weird.
ls_valence
.Idk man, sometimes using words more than once can help express things clearly. Personally I find the flow of this sentence "I'm not looking down on anyone but I really think I'll get the role even if the small chance I won't is making me anxious" very weird.For a fair comparison, it’s “I'm not looking down on anyone, but I really think I'll get the role – even if the small chance I won't is making me anxious”. The TL I was given was “I’m not looking down on anyone. But I totally feel like I’ll get the role. But even so, the off chance that I won’t is making me anxious.”, and I edited this into the version in the manga. Duplicating “but”, even using a synonym like “however”, is definitely more awkward than what I used, flowing less well.
I was a translator too (from EN to my mother tongue) and one thing I've noticed is that even QR/editor don't always correct or notice the awkward sentences. Many times I and my editor only noticed that "wait that sentence sounds weird as hell" only after we posted the chapter, or some readers point it out for us.Sometimes simple English just isn’t enough to express a concept. Same for the other one: this one I didn’t edit from boke’s TL, but I do prefer it to what DeepL produced 🤷♀. The only authority I can wave is me beïng EFL and Nobody not flagging it, must count for something
I just did a quick check here, I'm not an actual QR so I don't think I will be much help tbh.That said, constructive criticism is always welcome; please do hop over either to the #scanlation channel on the Dynasty Scans discord, or the thread on Yuri Project (https://safe.yuri-project.net/res/26675.html), or just DM me on discord I suppose, my username isls_valence
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’couse it’s weird, you removed all punctuation 😉Idk man, sometimes using words more than once can help express things clearly. Personally I find the flow of this sentence "I'm not looking down on anyone but I really think I'll get the role even if the small chance I won't is making me anxious" very weird.
the point of reading manga is that sentences will be cut apart, jump around; it's not a smooth read from one end to another like a book.’couse it’s weird, you removed all punctuation 😉
considering that English is a worldwide language, with many readers having English as their second/third language, you're basically saying that anyone who finds the story weird/hard to read "less experienced with the language" right? Do you not see/hear how entitled that sounds?I mean I’m sorry you find it weird, but I trust my own judgement as a native speaker that most other native speakers wouldn’t find it weird (I asked a couple friends about this, they seemed to agree that the edited MTL version is less natural). Accessibility to those less experiënced with the language is not a goal.
When editing, I take as many things as possible into account. I don’t think it’ll be productive to engage with this point: I read a lot of manga, I speak English, and this is what I think is the most readable option. You’re free to disagree, but I won’t listen to you unless it’s reasonably corroborated by English natives; in this case, I have found that English natives appear to disagree.did you take that into account when you're editing?
No? It’s just not what I do. Just because a lot of people happen to speak English doesn’t mean that I have a responsibility to cater to them – I mean, that would be absurd. English education is a good job and it’s good some people do it, but I’m neither qualified nor interested in doïng it myself. I just try to make whatever’s most pleasant to read for fluent speakers, because that’s part of the hobby that I find fun.considering that English is a worldwide language, with many readers having English as their second/third language, you're basically saying that anyone who finds the story weird/hard to read "less experienced with the language" right? Do you not see/hear how entitled that sounds?
Who knows? Again, if you have specific suggestions for improvements I’m more than happy to discuss them. I try my best to produce the most coherent result.anw, many comments have said that the story is hard to understand (back from chapter 2 I think), and that surely can't be just the author's fault.
https://www.mediafire.com/file/ccakdzig1nvstau/Utakata_no_uta.zip/fileAnyone have link to raw?