Oh, this thing is finally back for a third round?
Well, hope it lasts longer than the previous two.
Nice to see you taking it up, though it's true the translation could use some work.
The main thing I would suggest is simply reading the translated lines and seeing if they sound good in English. If you're doing this with something like Google Translate, the text translation window should offer you multiple options for each line. Additionally, using another service like Yandex Translate can provide more possibilities (though Google is the best MTL I've used). Finally, for lines that still aren't making sense, you can try putting individual words into a Korean-English dictionary to get all possible meanings. Then if you combine all that with a good sense of English, you can word things in a way that reads very naturally to an English speaker, even if you have to take a few liberties with the Korean text.
And part of that is going to include context. For example, the same Korean pronoun will often get translated by MTL services as "he" or "she" (or sometimes "it") depending on what context the machine can detect, so you'll have to be aware of who is being spoken of and edit accordingly, because I noticed some wrong genders being used in this chapter. Also, keep track of the names being used, and edit them to match. You've got like 8 variations of "Han Suzy" in this chapter. Pick whichever one you want her to be called, and use that each time. It'll probably require you proof-reading the chapter a few times, but that's the easiest part, and also the most beneficial.
Or you could just get a proper KTL.
Whatever works best.