Addicted to Her - Ch. 7 - Confession

Dex-chan lover
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Jan 30, 2018
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I really don't get the main character's whole deal. I mean, at the start, she's having sex with strangers to kill her cravings, and what she's getting out of that is depression, emptiness and self-loathing. So now she's getting pursued--and laid--by someone who is not only gorgeous and into her, but because of their long relationship when the girl was a kid, one of the few people she can really trust not to be using her.
And she's spending a ton of energy rejecting this because apparently she's afraid this will totally disrupt her previous lifestyle--she might lose all that depression, emptiness and self-loathing and perhaps even be . . . happy, and then where would she be?! Maybe it's just me, but I'm not seeing a down side here, or what she has to lose.
 
Dex-chan lover
Joined
Sep 14, 2020
Messages
612
I really don't get the main character's whole deal. I mean, at the start, she's having sex with strangers to kill her cravings, and what she's getting out of that is depression, emptiness and self-loathing. So now she's getting pursued--and laid--by someone who is not only gorgeous and into her, but because of their long relationship when the girl was a kid, one of the few people she can really trust not to be using her.
And she's spending a ton of energy rejecting this because apparently she's afraid this will totally disrupt her previous lifestyle--she might lose all that depression, emptiness and self-loathing and perhaps even be . . . happy, and then where would she be?! Maybe it's just me, but I'm not seeing a down side here, or what she has to lose.
That's the thing about trauma, even if you know something is bad you might indulge in it just cause it's a known quantity to you, it doesn't feel good but you know exactly how it goes, it's unhealthy comfort, here Nan Zhi is feeling like she's losing control of that situation, which is terrifying for her, because her habits are a coping mechanism she has a hard time letting go of it

To put it simply, new emotions are scary because suddenly you're in unknown territory, and you have no clue how to manage those new feelings, even if they're feelings of happiness
 

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