@saintguardian If you have the chance, reading the last volume of Maison Ikkoku could clarify the matter of the grave visit (in chapter 160 Godai goes to visit the tomb of Soichiro, the deceased husband of Kyoko).
I suppose making an announcement to the deceased partner counts as getting their blessing? Also to put their soul at ease given that they can "see" that the survivor is no longer alone?