Hey, no comment on art for obviously reasons but story is really good, for being a one shot it is very good, maybe you can visit this later and polish the art, it has a really good vibe like Molester Man and Onanie Master Kurosawa, keep going!
If I'm blunt, at the start I didn't think I would enjoy this oneshot so much, but after the first 4 pages I was hooked. So thanks for uploading it and I completely agree with cvalenciaec's comment.