Blood on the Tracks - Vol. 15 Ch. 136 - That Place

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My assumption is that she's using baby Seiichi as a stand-in for her childhood self. Signifying that since she "doesn't know" and it's "so far away" that she might as well kill those crappy distant memories she's barely holding onto. I imagine this will lead to her just slowly unraveling mentally in the background of what we've already seen all because she truly feels empty after this moment
 
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Wait, how would that....work?
I feel it has to be a metaphoric death, he can't be really dead!
 
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i need an adult to explain me the plot of this manga like if i was a 5 year old
 
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I feel like little bits of a bunch of the earlier comments are all correct: I think she threw him down the hill to "kill him". He didn't die, but the idea of him in her head did, so she has carried on raising him ever since, as like a separate, dissociated parent? Does that make sense? It explains a bunch of her behavior around him(though I haven't read this series from the start in years); she's just been raising this random kid for years that she has no connection/feelings for, because her "real" son is "dead". It's like there's Free, non-parent Seiko, and Over-protective mom Seiko but they're both the same person and in varying quantities. And then all of this could be absolutely wrong next chapter, sooooo
 
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I am going to guess and say one of the two is dead, and now only exists in the mind of the other.
 

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