I read this somewhere on the internet:
"Hi! It's just me. Your friendly housemate. You know, that one, that is so silent, you hardly ever notice and isn't a danger to anyone. Well, except for those sometimes actually harmful and annoying vermin, that I hunt. For free. Ahhw.. It's such a long day and I really worked hard. But you should never give up, right? Oh, how thoughtful of you! Of course I would like to read the newspaper."