Fukakai na Boku no Subete o - Vol. 4 Ch. 21

[bosmo]

@JaGirlLucy Yes I agree that's the kind of correct attitude for parents when their children grows up into something they don't understand. But that phase could come only after they have recovered from the shock, something they are still in. And even after that, educating themselves about the subject is not an easy thing to do. It's hard for older people to learn new things, even when they have access to internet. Rather than expecting them to learn about the child by themselves, having a discussion about each other is the best way to solve it. A discussion can result in a mutual understanding about each other, and avoid a situation where everyone is having a different view about the issue. LGBT community is a very diverse community, the last thing you want is for your parents to learn about the wrong side of the community you're in. Remember that the best source of information about you is yourself.

 

[Standarduser_]

@Phantop
Japanese differs quite a bit from English in a lot of ways and 3rd person pronouns are definitely a good example of a large difference. In Japanese, you don't really refer to people as "he" or "she" or "they" you would likely refer to them by their name or something similar. Or, in some cases, you don't say anything at all and who you are talking about is just inferred. The use of "him" was a choice made by the translator and not by the creator.

Interestingly, there is a moment earlier in the story that you might have forgotten where they think about what first person pronoun to use which is something that Japanese x-gender youth grapple with in a similar way to non-binary English speakers and 3rd person pronouns.

 

[SoftBryan]

this happens in real life tho

 

[JaGirlLucy]

@bosmo I completely agree; the information should 100% come from the child. However, I don’t think that what the parents, or rather the father, is going through is shock. What’s he’s going through is denial and avoidance. While yes, those can be reactions to shock, shock doesn’t tend to last long. You are shocked by something, you realize what it is, and you come to understand it a bit more. After that, your reaction can’t be boiled down to shock. Because the father isn’t shocked by it, the mother is, but not the father. He wants to act like it doesn’t exist. He fully recognizes and to some extent understands the problem, and his reaction was to shut it down. So, ultimately, my problem with you calling it shock takes the blame away from the father, which, in my opinion, he has quite a bit that is caused by him and he should be blamed for. He, in my opinion, is being a terrible parent, and saying, “oh it’s just shock” in response to his unforgivable response is just like saying “boys will be boys.” Yeah to some extent it’s true, but he should be blamed and held accountable for his actions.

 

[bosmo]

@JaGirlLucy Yes that's what I meant by he's being shocked, denial and avoidance. I also agree by calling him a terrible parent. No amount of materials would be enough to fulfill a child's psychological needs.

 

[Jerach]

Man, even though I've never had to deal with any gender identity/sexual orientation issues with my parents, I still really felt this chapter. Just, living in a house where you're in fear of your parents, having to deal with this continual feeling of being unsafe.

 

[ecchic_is_life]

The dad is an ass like wow let your children be who they what, he pissed me off so much

 

[Kazuna]

So its not just me

 

[AnacondaHL]

btw, there is a term for this: Parentification

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parentification

which, at least in this manga's case, is effectively a double-whammy of psychological abuse mixed with neglect.

 

[Mintzu]

The dad is the outdated parents. Sigh

There are so many accomplished male chefs and vice versa.

 

[moevora]

so heavy.. fluff where

 

[Khoopa]

This dad's living in the 20th century and before. What an ass

 

[flourou]

It's a really weird place to be when you're sympathizing with everyone in this family, despite their different takes on these issues. Pretty excellent writing!

 

[Arlindo000]

jesus... this father is just fucking idiot... i'm a conservative,but he does not see reality kkkkkkkkkkkk holy shit.

 

[bahamutmybitch]

see? you fuckers had been judging this girl so much, now?
If there is someone to blame here (that does not make them evil either, just delusional assholes, they are running away), it's on the dad, and probably the mom too...I can imagine what kind of stress she might be having and it's not fun, and Mogumo's being an ass too, being lgbt doesn't exempt him from being a good sibling, he wasn't there for her, and that's a fact.

 

[Xaelath]

@bahamutmybitch
That's true
If there's some fact about some Asian (as Asian myself) is that people still follows gender stereotypes and Japan most definitely one of the worst except the newer gen is slowly against it.

In nutshells men should act more like men. "Men shouldn't cry". Men shouldn't stay on kitchen. Men shouldn't do feminine thing such as dancing, knitting etc..
Same goes with women.

This writing is in fact is a real deal.
There's someone known parents who disown their child right after they came out as part of LGBT.

In my country Indonesia, people consider LGBT as illness. And majority will think LGBT as someone who doesn't deserve to be treated like human and should be killed (no I am not even joking here).

Being an open minded person is too hard these days. When people are too stuck from being what called normal and forgot that some people just wanted to be loved and didn't ask to born that way yet accepting themselves as one.

 

[bahamutmybitch]

@Xaelath, mm yeah 'tis but the sad truth. Anyway, I am kinda wrong in my previous comment too, now that I think about it, not wrong, but I jumped to conclusions too fast,

Spoiler

after reading the end, I feel like none in the family was assholes, hell, the father is not that bad tbh, he just lacked proper information about lgbt stuff, and man, their mom is an angel, the sweetest person in this entire series.

things are changing everywhere, it takes some time and proper knowledge about such stuff to be accepted, people used to burn 'witches' long ago but not today cuz we know its wrong, and dumb, its part of us evolving socially ig...

 

[Xaelath]

@bahamutmybitch
I think in the end the LGBT problem is the people around them.
Just either accept even they didn't understand or try to understand.

Things can be solved but people tend be in denial, shock or like my country, too brainwashed to be informed.

Abit out of topic : but about 50% people in Indonesia will think that if you are LGBT then you will get HIV/AIDS as such sickness were caused by LGBT people.
Oh yeah don't forget, people discriminate LGBT people here.

 

[bahamutmybitch]

@Xaelath
It's not as if there aren't people who understand, but yeah the majority still sticks to their beliefs which are against it.

Tbh, I can somewhat understand why they think they'd get STDs tho (no offence) because in many places, in earlier times I've heard that TGs n all worked in the sex industry because they couldn't get a decent living out of anything because of societal standards, so that might be the case...
And they should be properly educated about that stuff, one day it may be part of someone close to them and it'll only end worse for everyone anyways.
And by proper information, I don't mean the kind you see on the internet, it mostly repels them, and even those who support them tbh, anyone would start doubting about it once they read from dumpster fires like twitter n all, the higher-ups themselves should be the ones taking actions for this stuff and it would take a while before that happens globally.

 

[DungeonsDragon]

and parents should act like parents not pieces of shit. Someone needs to beat this old man.