"Enu" aside, there are a
lot of grammar mistakes.
page 1: Noun/adverb confusion. "Syuen is livid
how Tetra is always one step ahead of her." How in this case is starting a noun phrase and not acting as an adverb, so it needs a preposition before it:
with. Think "Syuen is livid
with [it]."
page 1: Noun number. "A hero is supposed to wear skin-tight
suit." A singular noun here needs a particle, "
a". Alternatively, change "suit" to "suit
s", plural.
page 4: Wrong preposition. "It would be nice if we can make up for it
in some other time." In is the wrong preposition in this case. "At" would be a better choice. No preposition at all ("up for it some other time") would also work.
page 4: Semantics. "I will do my best to be of
your help." This sentence is grammatically correct but doesn't make semantic/meaningful sense in English. "I will do my best to accept your help" or just removing "your" would be better.
page 5: Wrong preposition. "I know that she will definitely look great
on almost everything she's going to wear." "In", not "on". Laplace is is surrounded by the clothes she's wearing, so the preposition is "in [the things she's going to wear]".
page 7: Verb agreement. "There's no way
a hero wear something like this." If "a hero" is singular, "wear" becomes "wears". Otherwise, change "a hero" to "heroes" to match the plural "wear".
page 7: Verb tense. "I
never wear skirts before." Before indicates that Lapace is referring to the past, but "never wear" is present and ongoing. "I never wore skirts before" or "I have never worn skirts before." would be correct instead.
page 8: Verb agreement. "Your
suit are dirty anyway." Either "Your suits are dirty" or "Your suit is dirty".
page 8: Pronoun number. "If I keep on wearing
this frilly clothes..." The preposition "this" is singular. Replace it with "these" for "these frilly clothes..."
page 8: Semantics. "What's your say?" is unnatural and awkward. "What do you have to say?", "What do you say?", "What's your take?" or similar would be better phrasings.
page 10: Semantics. "It is my pleasure to be of
your help." As in page 4, the "your" breaks the meaning by making it unclear who is being helped. Here, it can be deleted to improve the sentence, changing the phrase to, "to be of help". "to help you" also works.
page 15: Sentence fragment. "Sorry coz I am not wearing the suit and look cool for you." Everything after "and" is an incomplete thought; it's a phrase without a subject or verb. "I am not wearing the suit because I wanted to look cool for you" or "I am not wearing the suit and I didn't look cool for you" would be examples of how to fix this.
page 15: Verb tense. "The Laplace I knew never
laugh like that". Laugh should be "laughed", since they're referencing the Laplace of the past.