Haou Densetsu Lion - Vol. 1 Ch. 1 - Lion, Wandering In

[MangaDex]

 

[WhITelion]

I'm surprised someone picked this up. The translation quality looks good (And we all know what Shinasaka Kouji redraws are like) so keep it up.

I do have a few things for feedback though:

• Personally I wouldn't do "The Lion" for titles and just do "Lion".
• Be careful with 実に結構。 That's a key Doujima phrase and I like the way the live action subs did it ("Splendid (indeed)"). I'm not a big fan of "Very good" here.
• P29 has like a tiny lingo error thing ("push against" or "push back against" instead of "push").
• (Volume 2ish spoiler) Looking forward to see how you will handle the Mukuro pun.
• (Really really big Part1+2 spoiler) The other phrase you want to be careful about is "wave". Don't use "wave" until that moment and use "momentum" or "flow" instead.

Also there isn't really any English equivalent for tensan/tengo/tenpin but honestly numbers are good enough.
Unfortunately I can't help you out on editing since we are both translators looking for editors. I can help translate this though but that'd be double redundancy.

 

[zera]

I'm surprised someone picked this up. The translation quality looks good (And we all know what Shinasaka Kouji redraws are like) so keep it up.

I do have a few things for feedback though:

• Personally I wouldn't do "The Lion" for titles and just do "Lion".
• Be careful with 実に結構。 That's a key Doujima phrase and I like the way the live action subs did it ("Splendid (indeed)"). I'm not a big fan of "Very good" here.
• P29 has like a tiny lingo error thing ("push against" or "push back against" instead of "push").
• (Volume 2ish spoiler) Looking forward to see how you will handle the Mukuro pun.
• (Really really big Part1+2 spoiler) The other phrase you want to be careful about is "wave". Don't use "wave" until that moment and use "momentum" or "flow" instead.

Also there isn't really any English equivalent for tensan/tengo/tenpin but honestly numbers are good enough.
Unfortunately I can't help you out on editing since we are both translators looking for editors. I can help translate this though but that'd be double redundancy.

First of all, thank you for taking the time to leave me a kind comment with feedback.
It really helps to have another pair of eyes to help catch mistakes as well as motivates me, especially since I have no proofreader.
I've fixed the pages with your suggestions. Dojima's line actually stumped me because it sounded stupid in English, so thank you again.
I also will keep "Dojima" to stay consistent with Rinshan's spelling unless advised against.

I'd taken a peek at volume 2 prior to your comment, and I'm really looking forward to what comes next, but I do not have the energy to solo this project. If you'd like to help me translate and are okay with me editing/typesetting on an unscheduled basis, that would seriously take a load off of my shoulders (granted the translation part doesn't take me as much time, it's the "making sure it doesn't sound like shit in English" part that does).

I did translate and edit this in one go at 3am, I'm sure that doesn't help. I picked this up because I am demented and I don't think it'll get an official tl because >kinma.
I've also tried to get in touch with Rinshan to continue Tohai but no dice. I'm willing to go to hell to attempt to clean volume 5, ch.47 at least.
Again, there are no guarantees that I will finish scanlating this in a timely manner, if at all.