So she was reading her sister's books this entire time but by the time she thought what she was doing was worth something, and what makio felt and experienced, was different, but not the same as her's, and that being okay, it was way too late for their relationship to be repaired.
Man that hurts BC she clearly was also carrying those faults from her upbringing (and the normative societal expectations of how she, and by extension, everyone else, should be)down to asa while outwardly trying to be open and loving but not really having fixed her fundamental issues.
It really makes you feel the full regret that asa's parents didn't get to live to be different or improve.