Ikoku Nikki - Vol. 11 Ch. 51 - page.51

[MangaDex]

 

[Darklight99]

What is even going on with these two? I'm so confused with what the author intends to do.

 

[Nicopico]

everytime a chapter releases its like a punch to the gut. i bursted into tears on that last page. god

 

[soosoooos]

oh could makio be aromantic, but not acesexual? averse to being percieved in a romantic relationship, ok with being friends with benefits. i reread chapter 20, and im feeling like this was the direction the author has been going for since then. it took a while, but im excited to see what's in store for these two next

and i love this manga and its metaphors. its unreal how much i relate to feeling like a satellite with how this chapter explained it. also i've been staring at the line "loving itself is an act of overcoming fear" for a while like. yeah loving does feel like that to me all the time. and i could go on about the feelings of grief and death this manga continues to delve deep into, i felt a punch in the gut at those last few pages

 

[hyskoaz]

personally speaking i have no business crying over the last two pages @ 3:37 in the afternoon.

 

[bakasennin]

Thank you for translating this manga for us.

Ikoku Nikki chapters never disappoint. This manga has the might have the most "real" characters I've ever seen in manga. How does she do it?

 

[FandomRatGuy]

This is just way too good, I do not understand

 

[Babbelfish]

What is even going on with these two? I'm so confused with what the author intends to do.

This chapter Makio states her fear that it would be unfair if she allows herself to be closer with Asa . Kasamachi points out that a) she is already closer than she wants to admit so that is like...why are you trying to be distant, Makio, it is kinda too late for that, no? Isn't the real fear here that you will fail her if you took your relationship with her more serious? b) that she too has been treating their past relationship between them the same way. (And maybe still is considering the first page).

Makio then realizes three things: a) Kasamachi has been aware she never thought of herself in a relationship with him and b) and that this too might have been motivated by a similiar fear inhibiting her from being emotionally close with Asa and c) that this was one of the reasons for the strain on their earlier relationship.



Now here is some speculation and interpretation on my part: She sees herself as incapable of properly connecting with people and thus unsafe.
"I feel like I've always had to be rootless plant."

But she now wonders if that was just the fear talking and limiting her. And thus she considers of also opening herself for Asa and trying to be more emotionally expressive.

Which has also the baggage of being the daughter of her sister: someone she held long in contempt for following unthinkingly society's norms but Makio during this story has come to realize her sister was more complex and was also struggling but still bravely raised a kid showing that in some ways her sister has gone where Makio shrunk from. Not particularily in getting kids or becoming married, but daring to be deeply, inextricably tied to people, even if the marriage seemed to not have worked out.

And thus the guilt, fear and uncertainty Makio is feeling in the last pages. She is considering a leap that fills her with fear and challenges her ego (how she perceives herself) and she is unsure if such a socially incapable person as her deserves getting close to the kid her sister raised.

 

[Darklight99]

This chapter Makio states her fear that it would be unfair if she allows herself to be closer with Asa . Kasamachi points out that a) she is already closer than she wants to admit so that is like...why are you trying to be distant, Makio, it is kinda too late for that, no? Isn't the real fear here that you will fail her if you took your relationship with her more serious? b) that she too has been treating their past relationship between them the same way. (And maybe still is considering the first page).

Makio then realizes three things: a) Kasamachi has been aware she never thought of herself in a relationship with him and b) and that this too might have been motivated by a similiar fear inhibiting her from being emotionally close with Asa and c) that this was one of the reasons for the strain on their earlier relationship.



Now here is some speculation and interpretation on my part: She sees herself as incapable of properly connecting with people and thus unsafe.
"I feel like I've always had to be rootless plant."

But she now wonders if that was just the fear talking and limiting her. And thus she considers of also opening herself for Asa and trying to be more emotionally expressive.

Which has also the baggage of being the daughter of her sister: someone she held long in contempt for following unthinkingly society's norms but Makio during this story has come to realize her sister was more complex and was also struggling but still bravely raised a kid showing that in some ways her sister has gone where Makio shrunk from. Not particularily in getting kids or becoming married, but daring to be deeply, inextricably tied to people, even if the marriage seemed to not have worked out.

And thus the guilt, fear and uncertainty Makio is feeling in the last pages. She is considering a leap that fills her with fear and challenges her ego (how she perceives herself) and she is unsure if such a socially incapable person as her deserves getting close to the kid her sister raised.

Thank You, I'm still kind of confused where the author intends to take Machio and Kasamachi's relationship in the future.

 

[Babbelfish]

Thank You, I'm still kind of confused where the author intends to take Machio and Kasamachi's relationship in the future.

Oh, that, yeah, no idea about that either. Could go many directions.

 

[bdenra]

Thank you for the chapter. Lovely series as always.

 

[Regnells]

It should be illegal to be this good

 

[Purplelibraryguy]

On that final line, well, from a certain perspective maybe not, but, um, too bad. Sis is dead, and the girl needs love more than a dead person needs exclusivity. Specially a dead person you don't even like.

Damn this manga is good.

 

[crimony]

ah what a relief, to finally see out in the open some of what makio has been struggling with. kasamachi MVP for bringing this out in her. as always, my favorite scenes involve makio actually thinking about her sister. such uncharted waters. i hope makio comes to love asa unconditionally, because i think asa already loves her that way.

also curious how to interpret the cover here "what does [kasamachi] think of [makio] with her having a different romantic orientation?" not sure what the connotation of orientation is here, could just be referring to the conversation they have here, hypothetically, about how kasamachi would deal with "another satellite" in the orbit. or it could mean there will be another "interest" of that nature in the future? i actually like kasamachi, mostly because i'm convinced no one else could jive as easily with makio as he has, like i think it would take someone else many years to get to that same place, so i'm interested in where that goes.

it would be a bit dark if makio finally learns how to open up and starts loving someone differently (or deeply?) than kasamachi. like how would he deal with that? haha. makio's right, he is the weird one in all of this, being ok with this level of distance.

 

[weary_aery]

okay crying brb