"That's right! I'm love with your cute childhood friend who as a massive crush on you!"
"Oh. ok. Good luck, let me know if you need any help with that or w/e"
"...Didn't you hear me? Your super cute and sweet childhood friend likes, like-likes you."
"Yeah that's cool or whatever. So like do you want my help getting her to fall in love with you or are you going to give up like a pussy?"