I love Youyan so much. She's so earnest and determined. She got another chance at life and she's absolutely not wasting a single second of it. I adore how far she goes to show how much she's changed. A'xiu is more resolved than I am, that's for certain. I would have melted into a puddle of love from Youyan's affection by now.
Ooof thank god Xiu returned, I don't think my heart could handle Youyan sitting there alone eating the cake, crying. It's what she deserves yes, but I guess I'm biased since she's the PoV character and we saw her struggles all the way.