I've never really quite thought too much about Mami-san. I knew that she was always the most 'fragile' in the group due to the way she breaks in many timelines... But that was kind of the only impression I had about her, aside from her being a 'proper lady' sort of person.
But this doujin really just makes me feel for her. With no family back during her school days, she only had her friends. Maybe that's why she tried being so proper all the time? She wanted to impress her kouhais, I guess. Seeing her unhappy like this really just put a hole into my heart. Especially the scene in which she desperately wished for a boyfriend or family to take care of her when she as sick... Such a thing really brings tears close to my eyes.
And yet, despite the unhappiness she feels, the dissatisfaction of life, she still continues on. She tries to make the best of horrible situations. Even when her friends have essentially moved on from her... in a way. That's not necessarily bad, but...
In a way, she probably needs them more than they need her now. It's a feeling I'm familiar with due to personal circumstances, but such a thing is disheartening. Hearing her describe Madoka's New Years text as 'business template'-like really was incredibly sad. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. For her to think of something like that in relation to a greeting from a friend she used to be incredibly close with... It's like a knife cutting through one's throat. I get choked up thinking about how Tomoe Mami has been doing in this.
I'm probably overthinking, overanalyzing, saying the obvious, but this really shred my heart. Please, continue living on, Tomoe Mami... I hope you find someone you can be close with soon.