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FINALY SOME ONE THAT SAID IT T^T
Exorcist wo Otosenai
- Thread starter MangaDex
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Completely agree, there's story "inconsistencies", like the greed guy trying to define what a man is by his own definition (would've preferred an adrenaline junkie fighter, developed into that because he wants to stay "gold" in winning against everyone, getting first, being greedy indirectly, but whatever)
Point being just being how strange this is, how do you go from rape to "being a man". Could definitely pick out more weird things, like when he "lost to lust" and that somehow being a victory? (also what did she mean by she felt good knowing she couldn't have had her past love by "seeing her in him", does the "win" not mean that she could have, in fact, had it? fr I feel like this IS a plot hole)
I'm all for main characters not always winning, or if they "do" for good reason (Rebuild World my goat🙌), but the "loss" really feels like nothing happened, also, a lot of the foreshadowing feels like they could lean into anywhere, that person in ice, his heart being chained, I don't think these are spoilers cause they mean nothing, you could show a duck on the moon it'd have the same effect
A good foreshadow would be like the bridge in Silent Voice, depression and falling from heights is already explored, so when it's revealed it's not really some twist or whatever it's more like a "yea... that makes sense", of course very shocking. Also small detail, no sound underwater, pretty cool, and I like how the book was symbolic of her wanting to communicate, for her to then hide her face behind it, there's just so much I love about that movie (it honestly should be talked about how it makes you feel uncomfortable not knowing what's gonna happen next, but given the themes of bullying, depression, suicide, it REALLY subconsciously makes you worried, ESPECIALLY the funeral, like, I thought that was it, love how much it makes you appreciate/be relieved), especially the difference in value/what you care about, when his mom finds out but, burns the money, like she says sorry about the money, but he's indifferent (as he should be, if you're gonna throw your life away you don't care about money(ngl this part made me tear up abit cause too real)), arguably genius as it's so realistic and such a small touch (literally lasts like seconds). As time went on having greater resolves is such a realistic and amazing detail, of course an adult would stand by their decision more than a kid, sure, she was bullied when she was younger but never thought about suicide, but then he's bullied, thinks about it, but just thinks back, then the last time it's thought of, well, you know. watch (all of) Silent Voice before revealing, amazing movie, anyway
my biggest gripe was in ch100
when she doubts him before having sex (about why he has condoms), people said it's their first time so it'll be awkward, but doubting/accusing of cheating before sex? complete 180, like no intimacy at all, proper intimate sex you should feel embarrassed/misplaced seeing it (as it doesn't involve you), like Tokyo Ghoul:re ch 125 (not really a fan of that story, but that chapter was a great sex scene example, not raunchy fluids flying everywhere), there's a bunch of buzzwords I could throw like intimacy, compassion, comfort, safety, warmth, romance, love, etc, I feel like none of those were hit in ch100, pleasure sure, and "don't stare"? nothing screams being comfortable with the person you love most like asking not to look at you, really makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside... it feels empty (admittedly I think the don't stare comment is supposed to be a "guys can't get enough of me" move, probably written by a woman, makes sense though, reverse roles and a woman's staring at you, it'd make you feel proud, but, in a sex scene? prioritising pride in the most vulnerable act? no sense, there's a place and a time people)
yea feels like a shoujo like you said, besides the gay dudes
ch90+ (til like 100 or whatever):
the whole plot of it already being laid out felt pretty bad, and boring just like he said, an entertaining clairvoyant would be one that lacks resolve or has issues comprehending/processing and acting, I imagine (wouldn't suit this story but) an emotional clairvoyant that's very worrisome because they've seen multiple timelines in which those they care about die would be pretty interesting, maybe they abuse their level of trust they can accrue to get their way, why would someone doubt a clairvoyant
Instead, you get him talking about what's gonna happen, it happening , and that's it, honestly felt like filler. It really makes no sense how his "realisation" only came during/after the fact, could've been like that one guy in MHA (yea, I know, I know) that was partially clairvoyant but couldn't see the outside world, so he was surprised to see it unfold (I think it was the boss of the bubble woman)
I got a feeling it's gonna be a "reveal changes nothing" (like a lot of isekai, "I come from a different world" "WHAT
, okay now help me make food") but we'll see (talking about the ice person, chained heart, why he gotta fall in love, it's probably all connected like his heart holds some of hell's heat "until hell freezes over" or something)ch104 is latest as of writing, I stopped after ch100, 7/10, art carries, I'll check it once it's completed
wrote without the gpt btw
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Uh, wow, ch111, is it a retcon?
Flashback, she has sex with a dude who isn't the main guy, main guy watches that with her, you should know that much
I explain why I think it's a retcon below, just gonna blanket spoiler
-ch3, pg8
"You were born with no magical power, which means the exorcist won't find out."
"Until you meet the man of your dreams?"
"You're honest with your desires, aren't you?" (Implies she's never faltered)(Apparently)
Satan mentions she's "born" with no magical power (which, if he's mentioning it, would mean she's an exception to succubi/demons, she's lucky), magical power can be detected, succubi get magical power from sex (this is like, an immovable fact, the hell else would a SEX DEMON get magic from??), so she's sort of "born an undetectable virgin demon" (with a big implication, until she has sex), but, apparently not in ch111
I feel if he meant magical capacity he could've said that, which, I guess is what ch111 is trying to "clarify" (seems to be retcon)
-ch100, pg15, she has wings in the mirror, so this would seem like her getting power ("finally")(and that she has capacity, can be seen as demonic, her demonic magic can be now be detected, literally seen)
-ch38, pg18, she doesn't have wings, but asmodeus does, what the fuck, neither are in a sexual encounter so no this isn't a "wings show during sex" thing, they should be apparent (to viewer) if they have them, as asmodeus' are (ch1 clarifies asmodeus is powerful enough to perfectly hide it, why she isn't detected around ch38 by him, but is "detected" seen in the mirror by us, viewers)
-ch111, It's also just shock value, she never mentioned her past (which, with the past chapters in mind, there'd be no reason to, she's not hiding anything, anymore, as she's revealed she's a demon), but apparently now the past is worth mentioning (maybe because the sense of "reveal" went away, he knows she's a demon, uh okay, what else can we reveal, she had sex, uh... huh?)
Why does she act so shy? She doesn't value her chastity, why is she upset when he dislikes her promiscuity? ch112, it doesn't make sense, every sexual moment as far as I can recall she was shy, but in the past she isn't?
Actually, thinking about it, her shyness, timidity, whatever, is also probably another retcon, before ch101, she was legitimately shy, but after that it's some weird form of shyness that doesn't make sense
It's also with a single guy, not many, which is strange, what's the truth? Can she even recall every man she's slept with? Is it a "minimal" damage reveal of "Oh, 1 guy, and he's not a bad guy", like that makes it better? She used sex, her sex is deprived of intimacy the main guy thought existed, that's the issue, it's also uncovering sides to her the viewer and main guy never knew existed, which breaks the trust of the viewer, this flashback could've come way earlier, like beginning of ch10
Basically, my understanding:
Before: Succubus waiting for love, has no power, hasn't had sex as that gives power (is old)
After: Succubus wants love, has no power, cannot gain power, has sex (who knows how many times, is immortal age-wise)
[3/10], art carries heavy, had a hopeful 7/10 at ch100, after that awful boring part, thought it might become like the ch38 again, new place, new faces, new dynamics, nah, show her hoeing out, speak on that
(ch1-ch53) good spot to stop, all downhill forwards (7/10, arguably 10/10)
(ch54-83) okay, the only build up was the snails in his heart (Boring and a slog, 5/10)
(ch84-98) immensely boring (3/10)
(ch100) creates what the main guy and viewer see as intimate (7/10, was also where I stopped, cause goddamn I didn't want another boring part, but going forward looks to be)
(ch111) break the created intimacy, also break the viewer's trust, why was this held from the viewer, shock value, cheap and shallow (could've been a flashback like ch10, why not? I don't know, it's not good, that's why, 3/10)
ch+ baba whatever is planned out, we get what's gonna happen, then girl or whatever frozen in hell is probably "Satan's lover", I swear if this is true it's gonna be so, god, damn, lame, a "sacrifice the world for her guy", god
It does look to be completing so wait til it's complete
Came to check if ch111 was actually real, "knew" plot point of "virgin succubus"
Minor ramblings below, of what could have been, and destruction of a theme of the story, up to ch100 basically
-ch93, His power's described as on par with a demon lord, would've been cool if he awoke her power with that (As lame as it sounds, the first "love" succubus/demon (maybe turns her angelic, as lucifer is originally an angel, like instead of her bringing him down, he brings her up), which, maybe she'd be able to fight asmodeus, the "lust" succubus/demon, his main rival really), but nah, looks like she's just a regular non-magical demon (worthless, worse than human, like wtf)
Thought the theme was "despite what, it's who" (yes, she's a demon, but she's in search of love, """waiting""" for the man of her dreams), but now she's like any other succubus, sex is used and carries no intimacy, which, severely lowers a potential bond, "who" and "what" she is are beyond worthless as a partner
Also want to quickly mention how disconnected and inconsequential every part of the story feels
Defeat demon lord #1? Doesn't matter
Defeat demon lord #2? Doesn't matter
Demon lord has backstory? Doesn't matter (She's lesbian... So?)
Defeat demon lord #3? Doesn't matter (She'll be back anyway)(Oh ho you missed that one, try another!)
Defeat demon lord friend #4? Doesn't matter
She's almost dead? Doesn't matter
Met lucifer? Doesn't matter (Contrived "ya gotta meet em to save her")
Had sex? Doesn't matter
Nothing matters man, NOTHING, like shit everyone's a goddamn robot, even the robot in "Usuzumi no Hate" ch10 struck me deeper, and there's NO face (Teared up rereading it, "Welcome back Librarian, ...?, Is something wrong?" "You can just call me Ethan", FUCK)
Someone mentioned ch1 the mentor makes a gay comment and talked about "how far was this story planned", you don't have to plan around the moon to make a character gay then reveal it later, come on
Flashback, she has sex with a dude who isn't the main guy, main guy watches that with her, you should know that much
I explain why I think it's a retcon below, just gonna blanket spoiler
-ch3, pg8
"You were born with no magical power, which means the exorcist won't find out."
"Until you meet the man of your dreams?"
"You're honest with your desires, aren't you?" (Implies she's never faltered)(Apparently)
Satan mentions she's "born" with no magical power (which, if he's mentioning it, would mean she's an exception to succubi/demons, she's lucky), magical power can be detected, succubi get magical power from sex (this is like, an immovable fact, the hell else would a SEX DEMON get magic from??), so she's sort of "born an undetectable virgin demon" (with a big implication, until she has sex), but, apparently not in ch111
I feel if he meant magical capacity he could've said that, which, I guess is what ch111 is trying to "clarify" (seems to be retcon)
-ch100, pg15, she has wings in the mirror, so this would seem like her getting power ("finally")(and that she has capacity, can be seen as demonic, her demonic magic can be now be detected, literally seen)
-ch38, pg18, she doesn't have wings, but asmodeus does, what the fuck, neither are in a sexual encounter so no this isn't a "wings show during sex" thing, they should be apparent (to viewer) if they have them, as asmodeus' are (ch1 clarifies asmodeus is powerful enough to perfectly hide it, why she isn't detected around ch38 by him, but is "detected" seen in the mirror by us, viewers)
-ch111, It's also just shock value, she never mentioned her past (which, with the past chapters in mind, there'd be no reason to, she's not hiding anything, anymore, as she's revealed she's a demon), but apparently now the past is worth mentioning (maybe because the sense of "reveal" went away, he knows she's a demon, uh okay, what else can we reveal, she had sex, uh... huh?)
Why does she act so shy? She doesn't value her chastity, why is she upset when he dislikes her promiscuity? ch112, it doesn't make sense, every sexual moment as far as I can recall she was shy, but in the past she isn't?
Actually, thinking about it, her shyness, timidity, whatever, is also probably another retcon, before ch101, she was legitimately shy, but after that it's some weird form of shyness that doesn't make sense
It's also with a single guy, not many, which is strange, what's the truth? Can she even recall every man she's slept with? Is it a "minimal" damage reveal of "Oh, 1 guy, and he's not a bad guy", like that makes it better? She used sex, her sex is deprived of intimacy the main guy thought existed, that's the issue, it's also uncovering sides to her the viewer and main guy never knew existed, which breaks the trust of the viewer, this flashback could've come way earlier, like beginning of ch10
Basically, my understanding:
Before: Succubus waiting for love, has no power, hasn't had sex as that gives power (is old)
After: Succubus wants love, has no power, cannot gain power, has sex (who knows how many times, is immortal age-wise)
[3/10], art carries heavy, had a hopeful 7/10 at ch100, after that awful boring part, thought it might become like the ch38 again, new place, new faces, new dynamics, nah, show her hoeing out, speak on that
(ch1-ch53) good spot to stop, all downhill forwards (7/10, arguably 10/10)
(ch54-83) okay, the only build up was the snails in his heart (Boring and a slog, 5/10)
(ch84-98) immensely boring (3/10)
(ch100) creates what the main guy and viewer see as intimate (7/10, was also where I stopped, cause goddamn I didn't want another boring part, but going forward looks to be)
(ch111) break the created intimacy, also break the viewer's trust, why was this held from the viewer, shock value, cheap and shallow (could've been a flashback like ch10, why not? I don't know, it's not good, that's why, 3/10)
ch+ baba whatever is planned out, we get what's gonna happen, then girl or whatever frozen in hell is probably "Satan's lover", I swear if this is true it's gonna be so, god, damn, lame, a "sacrifice the world for her guy", god
It does look to be completing so wait til it's complete
Came to check if ch111 was actually real, "knew" plot point of "virgin succubus"
Minor ramblings below, of what could have been, and destruction of a theme of the story, up to ch100 basically
-ch93, His power's described as on par with a demon lord, would've been cool if he awoke her power with that (As lame as it sounds, the first "love" succubus/demon (maybe turns her angelic, as lucifer is originally an angel, like instead of her bringing him down, he brings her up), which, maybe she'd be able to fight asmodeus, the "lust" succubus/demon, his main rival really), but nah, looks like she's just a regular non-magical demon (worthless, worse than human, like wtf)
Thought the theme was "despite what, it's who" (yes, she's a demon, but she's in search of love, """waiting""" for the man of her dreams), but now she's like any other succubus, sex is used and carries no intimacy, which, severely lowers a potential bond, "who" and "what" she is are beyond worthless as a partner
Also want to quickly mention how disconnected and inconsequential every part of the story feels
Defeat demon lord #1? Doesn't matter
Defeat demon lord #2? Doesn't matter
Demon lord has backstory? Doesn't matter (She's lesbian... So?)
Defeat demon lord #3? Doesn't matter (She'll be back anyway)(Oh ho you missed that one, try another!)
Defeat demon lord friend #4? Doesn't matter
She's almost dead? Doesn't matter
Met lucifer? Doesn't matter (Contrived "ya gotta meet em to save her")
Had sex? Doesn't matter
Nothing matters man, NOTHING, like shit everyone's a goddamn robot, even the robot in "Usuzumi no Hate" ch10 struck me deeper, and there's NO face (Teared up rereading it, "Welcome back Librarian, ...?, Is something wrong?" "You can just call me Ethan", FUCK)
Someone mentioned ch1 the mentor makes a gay comment and talked about "how far was this story planned", you don't have to plan around the moon to make a character gay then reveal it later, come on
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Just gonna leave one more message, why you might be troubled after ch111:
Ch111 contradicts ch3, ch38, ch100's shyness, and kills any joy from buildingup to ch100's payoff (read 111, 100, 38, then 3)
Ch111 contradicts theme of "Who" not "What"
(Main character having sex void of love, let alone in a romance story, is literally cart before the horse)
(Want to "know love"... right)
4 key points (Tiny spoilers, worth knowing before starting story), She uses sex, She has loveless sex, She's bi, Unknown number of past lovers (until story is complete)
Ch100 is treated as an accomplishment by the story, both confess love, are shy, have loving sex, his name is revealed, and her wings are shown in the mirror (contrasting ch38, led to believe she's now gained power? born without power, similar to born a virgin, but sex would change that)
*(ch100, I hated this when I first read, insanely unintimate, accusing he cheated, "don't stare", guilt-tripping, really? wtf)
*("Gantz" ch59, did this pretty well, not a virgin, but it's far more intimate)
*("Tokyo Ghoul:re" ch125, I'm not sure anything can really top it)
Ch111 removes the sense of accomplishment by showing her not shy, using sex, and having loveless sex
It's done in a humorous way, he says "There's clues here!, I have to know", to then her moaning (Gross, childish even)
"Records expunged" is contrived
Next chapter also parallels the loveless sex person with him
(Mitigation of "Only one client", "He's a good guy", and only showing it for "one page" doesn't help, similar to "one fling" with an ex (like wtf, seriously), if he was a bad person, and she hated it, then it'd be redeeming, but odds are opposite, she's embarrassed due to enjoying it)
Ch3 she says "You're just like me", after she asks if he's a virgin (her leading question), he says he is and wants to know love, "just" removes any nuance to "she was talking about love, not virginity", Satan says she's "Honest with her desires", led again to believe virgin comment, as it's said her search for love overtakes sexual desire, if she is a liar (beyond what we know) showing her thoughts and flashbacks contradict any trust between the viewer and character, ruins the writing
(Garbage mystery story: You see culprit's thoughts and flashbacks, but never the ones that reveal they did it, culprit knows they did it)
What remains?... name reveal, who, cares, subversion of virgin succubus is also gone, just a powerless demon, holy lame balls, not being a virgin had no reason to be beaten around, just tell the viewer, not 111 chapters in
Feels like writing didn't know where to go after ch100 (Erm... come on brain!, GASP, I've got It! bi and brothel!), even before that I can't remember any moment had me kicking my feet or being depressed, unlike majority of other romance stories, there's a severe lack of warmth
Could've had an immensely romantic message of "sex is not the goal but the culmination of intimacy", and instead of ch100 sex they cuddle to sleep, instead, I think the message is fight the patriachy or something
Still believe author is a woman, mentioned before "don't stare" in ch100 I believed to be implying "men can't get enough of me", ch111 reinforces that, "multiple men AND women can't get enough of me", feels like a complete "girlboss" chapter ffs, and no I'm not sexist, if I was, I'd be rate this story above 3/10 like Silent voice (Movie)
Ch111 contradicts ch3, ch38, ch100's shyness, and kills any joy from buildingup to ch100's payoff (read 111, 100, 38, then 3)
Ch111 contradicts theme of "Who" not "What"
(Main character having sex void of love, let alone in a romance story, is literally cart before the horse)
(Want to "know love"... right)
4 key points (Tiny spoilers, worth knowing before starting story), She uses sex, She has loveless sex, She's bi, Unknown number of past lovers (until story is complete)
Ch100 is treated as an accomplishment by the story, both confess love, are shy, have loving sex, his name is revealed, and her wings are shown in the mirror (contrasting ch38, led to believe she's now gained power? born without power, similar to born a virgin, but sex would change that)
*(ch100, I hated this when I first read, insanely unintimate, accusing he cheated, "don't stare", guilt-tripping, really? wtf)
*("Gantz" ch59, did this pretty well, not a virgin, but it's far more intimate)
*("Tokyo Ghoul:re" ch125, I'm not sure anything can really top it)
Ch111 removes the sense of accomplishment by showing her not shy, using sex, and having loveless sex
It's done in a humorous way, he says "There's clues here!, I have to know", to then her moaning (Gross, childish even)
"Records expunged" is contrived
Next chapter also parallels the loveless sex person with him
(Mitigation of "Only one client", "He's a good guy", and only showing it for "one page" doesn't help, similar to "one fling" with an ex (like wtf, seriously), if he was a bad person, and she hated it, then it'd be redeeming, but odds are opposite, she's embarrassed due to enjoying it)
Ch3 she says "You're just like me", after she asks if he's a virgin (her leading question), he says he is and wants to know love, "just" removes any nuance to "she was talking about love, not virginity", Satan says she's "Honest with her desires", led again to believe virgin comment, as it's said her search for love overtakes sexual desire, if she is a liar (beyond what we know) showing her thoughts and flashbacks contradict any trust between the viewer and character, ruins the writing
(Garbage mystery story: You see culprit's thoughts and flashbacks, but never the ones that reveal they did it, culprit knows they did it)
What remains?... name reveal, who, cares, subversion of virgin succubus is also gone, just a powerless demon, holy lame balls, not being a virgin had no reason to be beaten around, just tell the viewer, not 111 chapters in
Feels like writing didn't know where to go after ch100 (Erm... come on brain!, GASP, I've got It! bi and brothel!), even before that I can't remember any moment had me kicking my feet or being depressed, unlike majority of other romance stories, there's a severe lack of warmth
Could've had an immensely romantic message of "sex is not the goal but the culmination of intimacy", and instead of ch100 sex they cuddle to sleep, instead, I think the message is fight the patriachy or something
Still believe author is a woman, mentioned before "don't stare" in ch100 I believed to be implying "men can't get enough of me", ch111 reinforces that, "multiple men AND women can't get enough of me", feels like a complete "girlboss" chapter ffs, and no I'm not sexist, if I was, I'd be rate this story above 3/10 like Silent voice (Movie)
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Gonna edit this message later
I'm not gonna reread, but I'm gonna detail the general flaws, I'm gonna need a bit of time for brevity and stuff, it's probably gonna be similar to "Bugle Call: Song of War", I find that and this story overlap tremendously, left comments on that story, mainly about emotionally detached characters, treating or saying things are worth something then story doing otherwise, lack of character agency, and unique to this story the immature theme that those who move on or try to are evil (I mean, a demon lord can't move on, witch boss can't move on, mentor ex is evil witch who tried to and failed, Satan's story is probably him not moving on, can anyone move on? Is the priest gonna be the first? Probably not as the author sees that as evil, and he's the least evil, so lame)
Overuse of the "Light within the dark" theme, (Mentor, Priest, Asmodeus, Witch boss, etc), all goddamn romance is centered around that, so when ch111 was revealed it was a complete eye-roll, what next, Satan's love (if she exists) can be unfrozen, and she was his light in the dark?
Actually, is there one straight couple, like, completely straight?
I'm not gonna reread, but I'm gonna detail the general flaws, I'm gonna need a bit of time for brevity and stuff, it's probably gonna be similar to "Bugle Call: Song of War", I find that and this story overlap tremendously, left comments on that story, mainly about emotionally detached characters, treating or saying things are worth something then story doing otherwise, lack of character agency, and unique to this story the immature theme that those who move on or try to are evil (I mean, a demon lord can't move on, witch boss can't move on, mentor ex is evil witch who tried to and failed, Satan's story is probably him not moving on, can anyone move on? Is the priest gonna be the first? Probably not as the author sees that as evil, and he's the least evil, so lame)
Overuse of the "Light within the dark" theme, (Mentor, Priest, Asmodeus, Witch boss, etc), all goddamn romance is centered around that, so when ch111 was revealed it was a complete eye-roll, what next, Satan's love (if she exists) can be unfrozen, and she was his light in the dark?
Actually, is there one straight couple, like, completely straight?
Main issue is the complete "untwist" of ch100 and ch111, to get my point across I'm gonna use "murder" and "murder robot"
-ch3 "murder robot" has never murdered (Premise subversion, ok, so when it does murder, something might happen, cool)
-ch100 "murder robot" murders (Everything before was buildup for this "payoff", what comes next?)
-ch111 "murder robot" has murdered before (What?), and "murder robot" murders for fun (What??)
-ch113 person robot murdered was going to die anyway (Only purpose was to make it so murder robot murdered before?)
-"murder robot" murdering before is brushed off (So... it REALLY doesn't matter)
-ch111 - 113 is just so fucking bad, "data expunged" "nuisance" is dealt with regardless of "murder robot", is that the redemption? Why was she not suspected? Mission was pointless then? Witch has basic non-agent suffering backstory. "Probably Satan's doing", ah yes, of course, "Somehow, Satan returned"
I have never seen something untwist the premise subversion for no reason before.
"Oh no, of course murder robot has murdered before" That's exactly the issue, it's so fucking boring, like, painfully boring
(Last edit from me(chronological wise), the dude literally existed for 2 chapters, bones, then dies, it's so fucking lame lmao, I can't really be mad, just laughing, like all of it is lame, lmao, has there ever been a character that drops in (literally introduction), bones the main character, then dies? like wtf lmao, the way his character is handled is way funnier than what he did, he's like a goddamn OC lmao)
(and yea, it contradicts her intent behind the act, in a contrived manner (It establishes her value behind the act, worthless, opposite of previous value)) (Opposite of contrivance would be consequence, buildup, reasoned possibility even if unpredictable, not, literally 'random witch magic gives specific lore drop', like holy balls)
I can't think of any reason for this part, if it's a "murder doesn't matter" then ch100 doesn't matter, the murder in ch100 was good but ch111 was bad? so murder robot is a bad murderer? or was it not bad? I can't think of any way to redeem this besides a retcon, if it's going for "Same act, different intent" she shouldn't be embarrassed, her reaction to it completely ruins it, what you see is what you get, there's no depth, she has the expected reaction, it's the expected worthlessness
Why hold this from the viewer? Is this a regression? Why bring this up if it's going to be brushed off?
All the right to believe "once murder robot murders, something's gonna happen", wrong, NOTHING, even if mirrors in ch38 and ch100 indicate something, (as always) nothing
Only reason I can believe ch111 happened was the author's a woman and wanted a jealousy-induced cheating-level drama point (like a shoujo), if it's trying to empower women's sexuality, it does the opposite ("A literal sex demon is better than me?")
This was it though, it's either no sex(fictional), or all sex(suitable), but it decided to go "little bit" of sex("realistic"), the worst, most boring choice that only hurts women, if she's only had sex with 3 people, what's a woman with 4 past partners supposed to feel? Exactly, fuck off, there's always a bigger fish, you're only making it worse by making it "realistic"
Why hold this from the viewer? Is this a regression? Why bring this up if it's going to be brushed off?
All the right to believe "once murder robot murders, something's gonna happen", wrong, NOTHING, even if mirrors in ch38 and ch100 indicate something, (as always) nothing
Only reason I can believe ch111 happened was the author's a woman and wanted a jealousy-induced cheating-level drama point (like a shoujo), if it's trying to empower women's sexuality, it does the opposite ("A literal sex demon is better than me?")
This was it though, it's either no sex(fictional), or all sex(suitable), but it decided to go "little bit" of sex("realistic"), the worst, most boring choice that only hurts women, if she's only had sex with 3 people, what's a woman with 4 past partners supposed to feel? Exactly, fuck off, there's always a bigger fish, you're only making it worse by making it "realistic"
There's no consequences. I can't think of a time he's lost, I can't think of any character who has properly died
"Romance" is just filler/delay, no conflict, every romance is built on "Light within the dark", there is no intimacy only your usual "I like you because... uh (insert appearance or being nice)", there is no "I wish that were me" feeling many romance stories try to induce
No character agency, main character is a cardboard cutout along for the ride (If there is a "choice" it's painfully obvious which one will be chosen, the school "choice")(Him being cutout is probably because author is a woman and isn't sure how to write a male).
Zero reasons to believe otherwise in many scenarios, will X die? No. Will he love her? Yes. Is Satan going to lose? Yes. Is the world going to end mid-story? No. Is the clairvoyant part filler? Yes. Because there's a "larger plan" there's no msyterious tension of "what happens next?", it's all "according to plan".
No "pure evil" characters, guaranteed Satan will be redeemed with some flashback backstory, I don't have to guess, this is going to be completely correct.
Drama is shoujo level, first clear indication was gay ex kissing witch girl, like holy shit, so childish, realistically that'd be a clear indication to move on, how could you continue to love that person at all? Complete nonsense only found in shoujo.
"Never moving on" No character moves on, I'm not going to explain why this is bad, it's immature.
Value is never put into question, they ALWAYS undoubtly love someone, there is no "is this worth it?".
No worldbuilding, can't think of a bad story with good worldbuilding.
Numerous immense "uncaring" characters, if characters don't care, why should the viewer? Main "care" is "defeat Satan", how are viewers meant to relate to that? Maybe there's some bigger bigger plan to permanently defeat Satan, if there is, then let the viewer know.
"Romance" is just filler/delay, no conflict, every romance is built on "Light within the dark", there is no intimacy only your usual "I like you because... uh (insert appearance or being nice)", there is no "I wish that were me" feeling many romance stories try to induce
No character agency, main character is a cardboard cutout along for the ride (If there is a "choice" it's painfully obvious which one will be chosen, the school "choice")(Him being cutout is probably because author is a woman and isn't sure how to write a male).
Zero reasons to believe otherwise in many scenarios, will X die? No. Will he love her? Yes. Is Satan going to lose? Yes. Is the world going to end mid-story? No. Is the clairvoyant part filler? Yes. Because there's a "larger plan" there's no msyterious tension of "what happens next?", it's all "according to plan".
No "pure evil" characters, guaranteed Satan will be redeemed with some flashback backstory, I don't have to guess, this is going to be completely correct.
Drama is shoujo level, first clear indication was gay ex kissing witch girl, like holy shit, so childish, realistically that'd be a clear indication to move on, how could you continue to love that person at all? Complete nonsense only found in shoujo.
"Never moving on" No character moves on, I'm not going to explain why this is bad, it's immature.
Value is never put into question, they ALWAYS undoubtly love someone, there is no "is this worth it?".
No worldbuilding, can't think of a bad story with good worldbuilding.
Numerous immense "uncaring" characters, if characters don't care, why should the viewer? Main "care" is "defeat Satan", how are viewers meant to relate to that? Maybe there's some bigger bigger plan to permanently defeat Satan, if there is, then let the viewer know.
ch1-ch53 Was good, Leviathan was a decent character, School was pretty good until the end, ended on "no consequences" (he really just says "I can revive them later", oh cool, so, there's no concern) with a "I lost" (for a then retcon, moment later) "I won".
ch54-83 "World is ending", holds no tension, no reason to believe it, no risk, and following it there were no consequences. Seriously, a "the world is ending" mid-story when we know there's a "larger plan".
ch84-98 Boring nonsensical clairvoyant with pointless "fight".
ch100 Hopeful, but unintimate
ch100+ Awful, wait til complete
ch54-83 "World is ending", holds no tension, no reason to believe it, no risk, and following it there were no consequences. Seriously, a "the world is ending" mid-story when we know there's a "larger plan".
ch84-98 Boring nonsensical clairvoyant with pointless "fight".
ch100 Hopeful, but unintimate
ch100+ Awful, wait til complete
ch3, ch38, ch100, ch111, and ch113 are all you need to see.
Ch100 could have gone anywhere, instead it went nowhere, her powers awakening is a basic first step, maybe she's sent into psychosis due to it being too powerful (basic subversion of "typical good moment turns bad"(but with reason to)), a succubus absorbing, for the first time, the power of someone on par with a demon lord (which has never been done before, I mean put two and two together, a human on par with a demon lord, and a succubus with no power, they're complete contrasts (maybe a succubus can only absorb from humans)), this can put her/his love for each other into doubt (she begins to doubt him in her honest but incosiderate psychosis(does he care? or is he the same as all priests), he's reminded she's a demon(love vs duty)), and can have a romantic falling down of "I won't leave you" (given you're "you", and you're not the "you I fell in love with"), this could maybe have a second phase "how dare you" (reject me as I am), to then her calming down and him wiping her tears (as she's returned to be the one he fell in love with), accepting her in her most vulnerable state, not most defensive, an allegory of mutual trust and care in a relationship ("Find someone to wipe your tears", could be the message, insanely intimate and romantic, also a callback to when Asmodeus gave him her hankerchief, she did sort of wipe them(it was like glossed over), but she was the cause of them, allegory to a toxic relationship)
(Honestly feel like this story does romance without understanding it, you're gonna drop the "wiping tears" at like ch40? tf? No buildup, no lingering afterwards, just drop that and done? Maybe this was a clue to how ch100 was gonna be handled, seriously)
(Reason why wiping tears is so romantic is because the other is accepting and helping you in an extremely vulnerable state, they care, care more than to just ignore or leave you in that state unlike majority of others, etc, I'm gonna stop rambling)
Clairvoyant could have been deeply interested in him as his powers may have obscured him or something, like "You're the first I can't see past", THAT would've been cool, or he could've been a testing clairvoyant, seeing how far he can push him until he's pushed back, pushed his luck, multiple timelines maybe.
"Single certain timeline" was the lamest choice, and his change of actions didn't make sense, it was awful
Uncertain, unreliable, emotional, or multiple timelines, or all of those combined, ANYTHING but the most basic would've made it interesting, maybe a comment on how the first to fall was most twisted or something, instead it does lame "uh the first demon was actually a pretty chill guy".
I forgot to mention, this fight is a good example of how bad the powerscaling is, it's not like JJK where Sukuna, Gojo, and Mahoraga are the top. There's no references for power, how many regular demons could he defeat? Is him being on par with a demon lord real or just an estimate? Where does he rank comapred to demon lords, he's below Lucifer, above Asmodeus, so between them? Was he always? Can't know. This is another issue by the lack of worldbuilding.
"World ending" part was lame, limit it to a city (maybe it was, I forget), then at least give some consequence like people being in comas, so next fight means risks are even higher, tension is higher.
Give character's wishes, better than "I want to know love", have it be "I want to love", "know" sounds incredibly lame, focused and eager shows a lot more care so the viewer will consequentally care more too, between "I sort of might feel cool, maybe for now" and "I'm fucking cool", which one is better, makes you care more, and is genuinely cool.
Also, "Know love" is painfully shoujo, I'm gonna twist my balls off if I have to hear another "I don't understand love" from a fmc
Also, Church, Witch, and Devils could've been expanded, some witches hate their organisation, some don't believe it but go along with it anyway, look at JJK or Ajin.
Also, Immortality seems to mean nothing, Omni-man from Invincible is a good showing of the difference of humanity long life can bring. She acts too much like a human, like every character, you're telling me the centuries old person is embarrassed over something that happened centuries ago? Fuck off.
(Honestly feel like this story does romance without understanding it, you're gonna drop the "wiping tears" at like ch40? tf? No buildup, no lingering afterwards, just drop that and done? Maybe this was a clue to how ch100 was gonna be handled, seriously)
(Reason why wiping tears is so romantic is because the other is accepting and helping you in an extremely vulnerable state, they care, care more than to just ignore or leave you in that state unlike majority of others, etc, I'm gonna stop rambling)
Clairvoyant could have been deeply interested in him as his powers may have obscured him or something, like "You're the first I can't see past", THAT would've been cool, or he could've been a testing clairvoyant, seeing how far he can push him until he's pushed back, pushed his luck, multiple timelines maybe.
"Single certain timeline" was the lamest choice, and his change of actions didn't make sense, it was awful
Uncertain, unreliable, emotional, or multiple timelines, or all of those combined, ANYTHING but the most basic would've made it interesting, maybe a comment on how the first to fall was most twisted or something, instead it does lame "uh the first demon was actually a pretty chill guy".
I forgot to mention, this fight is a good example of how bad the powerscaling is, it's not like JJK where Sukuna, Gojo, and Mahoraga are the top. There's no references for power, how many regular demons could he defeat? Is him being on par with a demon lord real or just an estimate? Where does he rank comapred to demon lords, he's below Lucifer, above Asmodeus, so between them? Was he always? Can't know. This is another issue by the lack of worldbuilding.
"World ending" part was lame, limit it to a city (maybe it was, I forget), then at least give some consequence like people being in comas, so next fight means risks are even higher, tension is higher.
Give character's wishes, better than "I want to know love", have it be "I want to love", "know" sounds incredibly lame, focused and eager shows a lot more care so the viewer will consequentally care more too, between "I sort of might feel cool, maybe for now" and "I'm fucking cool", which one is better, makes you care more, and is genuinely cool.
Also, "Know love" is painfully shoujo, I'm gonna twist my balls off if I have to hear another "I don't understand love" from a fmc
Also, Church, Witch, and Devils could've been expanded, some witches hate their organisation, some don't believe it but go along with it anyway, look at JJK or Ajin.
Also, Immortality seems to mean nothing, Omni-man from Invincible is a good showing of the difference of humanity long life can bring. She acts too much like a human, like every character, you're telling me the centuries old person is embarrassed over something that happened centuries ago? Fuck off.
Generally have more "Oh shit" moments, Ajin ch19, Gantz ch175, Silent voice (movie)
Notably, characters care immensely (so viewer's do too), there's been buildup (character's are stressed), and it goes completely opposite to how the main character wants it to (it's tragic). I never felt stressed in this story because there was never an established tragedy theme
3/10
goes nowhere, does nothing, art's really good though (If 100 chapters mean nothing, I have difficulty caring)
(I could definitely write more, I probably messedu writing somewhere, one thing is I can't think of any "message",
Lotr had an elf give up immortality for love,
Bladerunner had the "Seeing is believing" with the "Because you've never seen a miracle" line,
Highserk had regret over blind altruism, etc)
(If it's going for "Love is the greatest sin", in which you'd do the worst things for it, then fine, but JJK had ya beat with "Love is the most twisted curse of all.", it's been done before, would've been better to drop the line later directly with previous implying acts, not, the first chapters it gets dropped, no buildup, no reason to care)
"Watchmen 2009" has a good clairvoyant, a puppet that can see the strings, getting caught in the tangle of their lives
(I could definitely write more, I probably messedu writing somewhere, one thing is I can't think of any "message",
Lotr had an elf give up immortality for love,
Bladerunner had the "Seeing is believing" with the "Because you've never seen a miracle" line,
Highserk had regret over blind altruism, etc)
(If it's going for "Love is the greatest sin", in which you'd do the worst things for it, then fine, but JJK had ya beat with "Love is the most twisted curse of all.", it's been done before, would've been better to drop the line later directly with previous implying acts, not, the first chapters it gets dropped, no buildup, no reason to care)
"Watchmen 2009" has a good clairvoyant, a puppet that can see the strings, getting caught in the tangle of their lives
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i don't know how to feel about chap 111 , it feels so out of pocket , coming out of left field even, If the author wanted to create a haha funny moment for shock value then they did do it but let me say it had an opposite effect instead of being funny, I just feel kinda bummed and it makes all that build up worthless(?). Certified Bruh Moment!!!
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Dude literally
My biggest gripe with stories is when things are "done", but literally nothing comes of it, in the end, with or without it happening, it's all the same end. This is why I largely hate female-written stories, so full of drama fluff, remove it all and nothing changes. Why people also hate "Will they, won't they?", but those have romantic fluff, drama isn't romantic, romance with nothing romantic? Headache inducing. (Sure call me sexist, I'm still not going to read Josei)
ch100/ch111 feels like this, we'll see where it goes, but so far, it all seems to be pointless.
-Had "first time" sex, cool, anything happen? No. (Despite buildup)
"Romance" fluff
-She's had sex before, ok, mean anything? So far, no.
Drama fluff (She's STILL lying, to now ALSO the viewer)
("So, it was their first time, that mean something?",
"No, it wasn't her first, it meant nothing besides that they did it",
"oh, ok")
~ch111, Seems to be a very contrived way to introduce yaba-whatever
I'd much rather a character removed from the established characters because the "initial meeting and butting heads" has already been dealt with, look at CSM, Asa's best part was when she wasn't sure who/what Denji was, that was peak.
Characters unfamiliar with each other are comparably enjoyable to the viewer being unfamiliar, there's more "new", Satan in this story seems like the last bit of hope for an interesting character, because we're unfamiliar with him, if we understood him, it'd be a bore, Asmodeus is good, but even then she has some hiccups in writing
~ch111, and, there's a moment he's like "Hm, she probably killed a bunch of people because she worked for Satan", uh, no duh? She's a demon, when does a demon not?, you know this, you should already know about this, there was a literal time skip with you knowing this.
Is he retarded? I feel like this was just a shitty way to distract him from realising she's a lying whore, like literally, she worked at a whorehouse, and she's still lying.
A well written story would be like dominoes, very consequential, take one piece out, and ending doesn't work, it's sort of contingent/reliant on many pieces to be the exact form they are, normally, this is the relationships or states or characters, have they grown from who they are initially, have their values changed from their initial values, etc.
Gantz is kind of my favourite example for this, no, it's not great, like 5/10, ending is quite bad, but the growth he goes through, and how his values change is amazing, along with there's times when he loses, which you rarely see in stories.
Easy thing to use is powers, a character couldn't have done X without Y power, it's also very enjoyable to contrast them before the power, to know they couldn't have done X before. Also works if they're "learning" a power, you'll see exactly this in the beginning of superhero movies. Too much power and they could always do X, they're basically god, which is boring.
It's why the beginning to many power-gain stories are enjoyable, you see what it's like without power, usually bad.
A good "all pieces fit together" story would be "Steins;Gate", the anime, first 12 episodes I remember were boring, but pretty sure they were setting everything up for the final "There's no other way this could've worked".
Same with Silent Voice (movie), it's great.
ch100/ch111 feels like this, we'll see where it goes, but so far, it all seems to be pointless.
-Had "first time" sex, cool, anything happen? No. (Despite buildup)
"Romance" fluff
-She's had sex before, ok, mean anything? So far, no.
Drama fluff (She's STILL lying, to now ALSO the viewer)
("So, it was their first time, that mean something?",
"No, it wasn't her first, it meant nothing besides that they did it",
"oh, ok")
~ch111, Seems to be a very contrived way to introduce yaba-whatever
I'd much rather a character removed from the established characters because the "initial meeting and butting heads" has already been dealt with, look at CSM, Asa's best part was when she wasn't sure who/what Denji was, that was peak.
Characters unfamiliar with each other are comparably enjoyable to the viewer being unfamiliar, there's more "new", Satan in this story seems like the last bit of hope for an interesting character, because we're unfamiliar with him, if we understood him, it'd be a bore, Asmodeus is good, but even then she has some hiccups in writing
~ch111, and, there's a moment he's like "Hm, she probably killed a bunch of people because she worked for Satan", uh, no duh? She's a demon, when does a demon not?, you know this, you should already know about this, there was a literal time skip with you knowing this.
Is he retarded? I feel like this was just a shitty way to distract him from realising she's a lying whore, like literally, she worked at a whorehouse, and she's still lying.
A well written story would be like dominoes, very consequential, take one piece out, and ending doesn't work, it's sort of contingent/reliant on many pieces to be the exact form they are, normally, this is the relationships or states or characters, have they grown from who they are initially, have their values changed from their initial values, etc.
Gantz is kind of my favourite example for this, no, it's not great, like 5/10, ending is quite bad, but the growth he goes through, and how his values change is amazing, along with there's times when he loses, which you rarely see in stories.
Easy thing to use is powers, a character couldn't have done X without Y power, it's also very enjoyable to contrast them before the power, to know they couldn't have done X before. Also works if they're "learning" a power, you'll see exactly this in the beginning of superhero movies. Too much power and they could always do X, they're basically god, which is boring.
It's why the beginning to many power-gain stories are enjoyable, you see what it's like without power, usually bad.
A good "all pieces fit together" story would be "Steins;Gate", the anime, first 12 episodes I remember were boring, but pretty sure they were setting everything up for the final "There's no other way this could've worked".
Same with Silent Voice (movie), it's great.
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honestly speaking, I think the author is just milking things atp, creating useless drama fluff, i mean we all knew that FMC was a demon/succubus, the author could have shown what she did during her past, I mean she is a demon so it is a given she is not pure or a virgin, it would've suppressed that uneasy feeling of chap 111, but no, this just feels like something was forcefully wedged and to top it all why the fuck is she acting embarrassed (?), bruh that was you doing shit , I would have been a bit okay if she was like "yeah things happened and I might have enjoyed it at the time but I kinda regret it now and i want to if you're willing to make us experience something that wasn't this, which is her being or acting like a whore". the romance and banter stuff between the MC and FMC was somewhat cring but cute on the previous chaps but after going through chap111 it feels like it went out the window and it doesn't make sense to me at all. Just like you I kinda feel that all of the things that are happening now feels like its unnecessary plot and drama for no reason. I just want to see everyone get the consequences for their actions, I might have to stop reading from here and take a break till the manga ends or give it a few more chapters.
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This was it though, we were "shown" with things like ch10 of her being hunted for being a demon, ch3 she's "same as him", and were given flashbacks and her thoughts that same chapter. All for those to not matter, only conveniently shown what "matters"(?) so ch111 was shown, because, it does matter? or, it doesn't because it was only shown 111 chapters in?
She just never stops lying, ch111 reveals she's also lying to the viewer, which I'd say is a regression, like great, we now can't trust her even though we were led to, for 100 chapters
Flipping her lie is more enjoyable, instead of "of course I've always" being the truth, it's a lie, revealing intent is enjoyable, could be a major point of pride, to subvert it could play on succubus/incubus chastity, in that if they don't have sex within say a decade or century they're deemed virgins for all intents and purposes, so she's contrasted against others and even more special in being not just chaste but a virgin, this gives it more weight in her trusting him with her essentially lifetime act
What could've been done, is the viewer is led so far into believing her (That she is the usual succubus), that when she does have sex it's a complete shock, like it feels like a retcon but there's been very minor signs otherwise, I feel that would've been way more peak and funny, instead of "Never done it before, of course actually has" a "Of course has done it before, always does it, the best at doing it others can't compare in times and amount done... not really", the way to redeem her early would be to sort of "don't care" about it, like make it sort of painfully obvious with a small detail that the viewer doesn't care anymore about her chastity and it's never touched on again, her character would then focus on something else, to partially redeem it could be a "never kissed before", to which, both are actually true, again, complete shock (and sort of suits, as maybe for a succubus sex isn't romantic, but a kiss is, so in her tradition she's romantically reserved, actually both)(and, in her crying or something she could apologise for lying, and in the moment it's revealed as to why, he thinks she's crying for lying, she's crying for both lying and pain).
She just never stops lying, ch111 reveals she's also lying to the viewer, which I'd say is a regression, like great, we now can't trust her even though we were led to, for 100 chapters
Flipping her lie is more enjoyable, instead of "of course I've always" being the truth, it's a lie, revealing intent is enjoyable, could be a major point of pride, to subvert it could play on succubus/incubus chastity, in that if they don't have sex within say a decade or century they're deemed virgins for all intents and purposes, so she's contrasted against others and even more special in being not just chaste but a virgin, this gives it more weight in her trusting him with her essentially lifetime act
What could've been done, is the viewer is led so far into believing her (That she is the usual succubus), that when she does have sex it's a complete shock, like it feels like a retcon but there's been very minor signs otherwise, I feel that would've been way more peak and funny, instead of "Never done it before, of course actually has" a "Of course has done it before, always does it, the best at doing it others can't compare in times and amount done... not really", the way to redeem her early would be to sort of "don't care" about it, like make it sort of painfully obvious with a small detail that the viewer doesn't care anymore about her chastity and it's never touched on again, her character would then focus on something else, to partially redeem it could be a "never kissed before", to which, both are actually true, again, complete shock (and sort of suits, as maybe for a succubus sex isn't romantic, but a kiss is, so in her tradition she's romantically reserved, actually both)(and, in her crying or something she could apologise for lying, and in the moment it's revealed as to why, he thinks she's crying for lying, she's crying for both lying and pain).
Makes zero sense, she's just simply written poorly as an immortal that's lived for centuries.
Happened centuries ago, with (apparently) no care behind it, and she's overly familiar with it, even the "sex is always embarrassing" doesn't work, she's a literal sex demon, she really, should be less embarrassed than him.
I feel the author is a woman and projects how she'd react without any thought to the actual character, and the guy is just a quiet cutout, people have called his type before a "doormat mc".
Happened centuries ago, with (apparently) no care behind it, and she's overly familiar with it, even the "sex is always embarrassing" doesn't work, she's a literal sex demon, she really, should be less embarrassed than him.
I feel the author is a woman and projects how she'd react without any thought to the actual character, and the guy is just a quiet cutout, people have called his type before a "doormat mc".
Dunno if I've ever seen an fmc accuse mmc of cheating before "first time" sex ever
It would've been an "ah she cared" or something if she was jealous that their firsts couldn't have been with each other, but now it makes zero sense, like, she has sex for fun, why would she care? (she cares about sex? no, she doesn't, were they even dating? she just takes him for granted) It's hypocritical and her being unaccountable for accusing is absurd, like, accused of cheating? Hello? Lowest form of trust (Womanly written, "male devotion" is also a woman theme, you'll notice that marriage is more of a "I as a man am devoted to you for my life", not a "til death do us part", it's one-sided, course)
It would've been an "ah she cared" or something if she was jealous that their firsts couldn't have been with each other, but now it makes zero sense, like, she has sex for fun, why would she care? (she cares about sex? no, she doesn't, were they even dating? she just takes him for granted) It's hypocritical and her being unaccountable for accusing is absurd, like, accused of cheating? Hello? Lowest form of trust (Womanly written, "male devotion" is also a woman theme, you'll notice that marriage is more of a "I as a man am devoted to you for my life", not a "til death do us part", it's one-sided, course)
Yea, I stopped at ch100 at the time, looked at ch111 to see if it was real, ch113 "concludes" ch111 in the laziest "he dies anyway"
(So mission was pointless?)(Why was she not suspected?)(Why was data expunged?)
(It's all "Satan did it")
(So mission was pointless?)(Why was she not suspected?)(Why was data expunged?)
(It's all "Satan did it")
I do wanna mention I saw a comment that talked about CSM's Power/Denji relationship and how it was very intimate without sex, and I never looked at it that way, of "Romantic intimacy void of sex", and I feel this story could've done that too, but completely ruins with ch100 and ch111.
A sort of "sex came, but wasn't a goal, intimacy was" is a really nice romantic theme.
(This story clearly doesn't follow that, and arguably places sex as the goal, to then ruin that goal, so we're just left with... I don't know, STDs?)
You'll notice rarely is a liar a main character in any good romance stories, or, if they do lie, it's out of selflessness, care, a "don't mention it" lie, not a "yea I worked at a whorehouse, am immortal, have sex for fun, why do you care, no I won't tell you more, did you cheat?"
A sort of "sex came, but wasn't a goal, intimacy was" is a really nice romantic theme.
(This story clearly doesn't follow that, and arguably places sex as the goal, to then ruin that goal, so we're just left with... I don't know, STDs?)
You'll notice rarely is a liar a main character in any good romance stories, or, if they do lie, it's out of selflessness, care, a "don't mention it" lie, not a "yea I worked at a whorehouse, am immortal, have sex for fun, why do you care, no I won't tell you more, did you cheat?"
Main conflict led by fmc lying
