My Childhood Friend, Always Nagging at Me - Oneshot
- Thread starter MangaDex
- Start date
Dex-chan lover
- Joined
- Jan 18, 2020
- Messages
- 312
I think it depend on the situation though. Like if she angry about you sucks in your job probably you’ll get her more angry. But in this situation (fantasy) i think it’s just childhood friend thing so this lead to the romance (again it’s fantasy and somehow i agree for above comment even though never had experience it)
Dex-chan lover
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2018
- Messages
- 6,994
"romance is misogyny" lol
Dex-chan lover
- Joined
- Feb 13, 2020
- Messages
- 1,249
TL;DR this isn't as true in Japan.
Long diatribe:
This isn't technically true in Japan. A LOT of women in Japan go out of their way to be cute and do like to be called cute, because Cuteness is something they consider to be the height of desirability. They'll do some of the wildest stuff just because they're told "It's Cute" and keep it up until they physically can't anymore. I've even seen the term "Cute obsession" used in reference to this fact. Obviously there are women who buck that trend but Japanese women do have a tendency to take it to heart when they're told "You're cute if/when you do X" because they REALLY like that term.
Nobuyoshi Kurita, a japanese sociology professor, once said that "Cute" has come to pretty much define what's acceptable and desirable among japanese. This is also why many women in Japan write big and round characters with symbols and such thrown in, it's considered cute and they're trying to be cute. Example:
Another example is the "Pigeon Toed" phenomenon. I'm sure you've seen this pose more than once:
A lot of women in Japan think this pose is cute...so they imitate it. That's right. Some women will bow their legs like this because they think it's attractive and they want to be attractive. Another one that has put off many foreign daters is the "Dumb Woman" dating strategy. It's considered cute when a woman is considerably ignorant, so they will act like complete dunderheads around someone they like so the man thinks she's cute. A lot of foreign men say this just outright annoys them but it's still a thing they do. Underlying reasons for WHY they think that's cute aside, that's just what japan is like. You can see a conversation about that here hosted by Nobita, a Japanese language teacher and a youtuber who talks about the various aspects of Japan.
But essentially this is all to say that Cute is status and a symbol for them, not just a compliment. It's something they're intentionally seeking and going out of their way for. So telling a woman she's cute can be considered Validation of her efforts. And if she's not putting in effort, it's validation of her natural beauty which is another thing Japanese people like. So while I'm sure it would piss some women off somewhere in Japan to say something like this, it's not as insulting or offensive as is typically felt in western countries. They just have different sensibilities.
Lotta words for 'your absolutely right, Japan does have a problem with misogyny' I mean, the US is still bad but we're not in the 50s anymore at leastTL;DR this isn't as true in Japan.
Long diatribe:
This isn't technically true in Japan. A LOT of women in Japan go out of their way to be cute and do like to be called cute, because Cuteness is something they consider to be the height of desirability. They'll do some of the wildest stuff just because they're told "It's Cute" and keep it up until they physically can't anymore. I've even seen the term "Cute obsession" used in reference to this fact. Obviously there are women who buck that trend but Japanese women do have a tendency to take it to heart when they're told "You're cute if/when you do X" because they REALLY like that term.
Nobuyoshi Kurita, a japanese sociology professor, once said that "Cute" has come to pretty much define what's acceptable and desirable among japanese. This is also why many women in Japan write big and round characters with symbols and such thrown in, it's considered cute and they're trying to be cute. Example:
Another example is the "Pigeon Toed" phenomenon. I'm sure you've seen this pose more than once:
A lot of women in Japan think this pose is cute...so they imitate it. That's right. Some women will bow their legs like this because they think it's attractive and they want to be attractive. Another one that has put off many foreign daters is the "Dumb Woman" dating strategy. It's considered cute when a woman is considerably ignorant, so they will act like complete dunderheads around someone they like so the man thinks she's cute. A lot of foreign men say this just outright annoys them but it's still a thing they do. Underlying reasons for WHY they think that's cute aside, that's just what japan is like. You can see a conversation about that here hosted by Nobita, a Japanese language teacher and a youtuber who talks about the various aspects of Japan.
But essentially this is all to say that Cute is status and a symbol for them, not just a compliment. It's something they're intentionally seeking and going out of their way for. So telling a woman she's cute can be considered Validation of her efforts. And if she's not putting in effort, it's validation of her natural beauty which is another thing Japanese people like. So while I'm sure it would piss some women off somewhere in Japan to say something like this, it's not as insulting or offensive as is typically felt in western countries. They just have different sensibilities.
Dex-chan lover
- Joined
- Feb 13, 2020
- Messages
- 1,249
The topic of Misogyny was completely irrelevant to my post, nor does it agree with you. Don't read out ideas that aren't there. The point was that Japanese women are choosing to live in a way that garners these types compliments because they like them, that your idea of what is considered "offensive" doesn't apply to every woman as you plainly state.
They're fully aware of what they're doing, they aren't being forced and if they like trying to be cute all the time then that's their prerogative. Like that one woman said in the interview, her mom CHOSE to dumb herself down around her dad but went back to normal with her friends.
Telling someone "you shouldn't frown because you're cuter when you smile" is offensive to you in your country, your country isn't the world. In a country that values "Cute" as much as Japan, that's not problematic. That's just being nice.
Dex-chan lover
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2018
- Messages
- 6,994
Bro they're "childhood friends", a trope that doesn't actually exist in reality and which by definition implies romantic interest. This isn't a case of some rando guy telling a coworker she'd be cuter if she smiled, it's a case of a boy telling a girl that already likes him she'd be cuter if she smiled. Hence her bashful reaction.
Calling this "misogyny" is like calling kabedon a "sexual assault".
Dex-chan lover
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2018
- Messages
- 4,772
Imagine getting angry, clutching your pearls on behalf of all women, thinking women are going to act all in the same way you think they should act, and also thinking men who say "smiling makes you cuter" are somehow all conniving "incels" in disguise. Imagine being that person.
Project harder, Blergggg, you colossal moron
Project harder, Blergggg, you colossal moron
Last edited:
Active member
- Joined
- Aug 24, 2024
- Messages
- 13
They are two friends that obviously have some sort of report that they feel comfortable talking to each other in ways that wouldn’t work with strangers. But he is tired at being nagged at, so he throws a Hail Mary— it’s a catch! The crowd goes wild! (well, except for those that walked out, because grasping victory from the jaws of defeat never happens in real life).
No you just don't understand WHAT misogyny is. Telling anyone that they need to change/do anything in order to fit in with what society deems acceptable is problematic, when a man says such a thing to a woman, that is misogyny (the reverse would be misandry). In a culture so 'cute' obsessed, such a comment is MORE problematic, not less. It implies that doing anything BUT smiling makes them undesirable. A woman changing her actions (acting like an airhead) out around men to be more accepted/desired is called 'internalized misogyny'. This is true in all cultures, would you say that 'honor killings' of women for dating outside their faith is misogynistic or just 'a different culture' (extreme example but same concept)
Dex-chan lover
- Joined
- Feb 13, 2020
- Messages
- 1,249
This is indisputably false.
The problem is that these women WANT to be cute. They're not forced by any societal standard. You literally have a super popular bar in Japan that's staffed by nothing but muscular women, which is typically not considered cute. In fact these women have talked about how they KNOW they're not the standard definition of cute, nevertheless their bar is thriving and their customers continue to return. No one is forcing these women to do anything, they're choosing to do it because they want to. There's no societal punishment for not being cute.
If a guy goes out looking for food, asking for recommendations, you're not rude for suggesting something. That's what he was looking for in the first place. You have to factor in personal agency otherwise you're just being blatantly ignorant and self-righteous.
No, it really doesn't. The west is obsessed with very blatant beauty standards and yet you still have people who DON'T fit those standards dating and getting married all the time. Just because your country has an obsession with something doesn't mean other options are "Undesirable" it just means other options exist.
It's called a Dating Strategy for a reason, do you know what those are? She's doing it because the type of guy she wants to go after likes Ditzy Girls. That's not "Internalized" anything, that's navigating the dating market. Understanding the basic functions preference and romance is how you succeed at finding someone: She has a type and she wants to go after it because that makes HER happy. Not every Japanese woman is doing this and not every Japanese guy wants a Ditzy wife or girlfriend. Let people have their preferences.
That's a false dichotomy and I don't think you understand what you're arguing. One is borne of a religious belief, how the believer personally feels is irrelevant. Their faith dictates an action and they follow through, that's the beginning and end of it. They don't get to pick and choose which rules of the faith they want to follow because that's not how religion works. cough Excuse me, that's not how religion works....Outside the West.
The other is borne of a personal bias against the other sex, regardless of external factors or stimuli. The Bias dictates the action and motives and rejects external authority contrary to it's existence. They are two completely separate driving forces of human behavior, they're not the same. Imagine that conversation for a second.
"Hey don't frown, you're cuter when you smile"
"Well why don't you just honor kill me for dating outside my faith too, huh!?"
There's no connection between these two trains of thought and you would immediately be called crazy for even thinking such a thing.
Dex-chan lover
- Joined
- Dec 18, 2019
- Messages
- 1,838
I agree. You can do dumb stuff or smart stuff.
If somebody already likes you, it’s not gonna matter.
Similar threads
