Save & Load no Dekiru Yadoya-san - Ch. 34

Dex-chan lover
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May 10, 2018
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So many assassination attempts because the queen is lazy. Though she is hot! :meguusmug:
 
Dex-chan lover
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Dec 22, 2018
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On page 16 the separation of words was really confusing.

And wherever you are, if you touch a wall,

It'll detect you the floor.
(?????)

And ceiling are safe but once those 'glowing eyes' lock on, it's completely over.

There's plenty of space in the conjoined speech bubbles so it's odd to split the sentences that way, and ESPECIALLY confusing when the second line is written with punctuation that makes a different (and incoherent) sentence. I would probably do something like:

And wherever you are, if you touch a wall, it'll detect you.

The floor and ceiling are safe but once those 'glowing eyes' lock on,

it's completely over.

I think the rest could use a bit of proofreading too, but that was the only section where I had to re-read it like 4 or 5 times to actually understand what was being said.
 

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