Right?! Honestly.... i always read the mangas dayment scanlate but this.... it made me feel sick. After ch 3 i was very hesitant but decided to give it the benefit of the doubt and continue (big mistake, dropping it rn though). The worst thing is that knowing how most BL mangas go, MC will get a redemption and a happy ending which is just too fucked up. Id probably actually throw up if i saw him all happy and at peace.