Sharehouse Nile - Vol. 2 Ch. 8 - Childhood Friend
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Thanks for an update!
I surprisingly found myself even more interested in these stories of side characters, than the main story.
I surprisingly found myself even more interested in these stories of side characters, than the main story.
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Wow, I have negative interest in this relationship dynamic. Am I missing some pivotal information between these characters from the previous chapter? Sure feels like it.
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Thank you very much, this is a manga I was that I look forward to reading every time there's an update! No need to rush (as long as we get our chapters lol)!
Dex-chan lover
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Thank you for picking this up, kingshit honestly.
The translation was mostly fine and completely understandable (at least to me), but there are several conjugation mistakes, and I feel like it's most notable in the flashbacks/narration where the past and present tenses are used in place of each other, so while you're asking:
pg 3, panel 2: "When people meet me, the Emperor's son, there are two attitudes that they show." --> "When people met me, the Emperor's son, there are two attitudes that they showed." because he is talking about himself in the past
pg 7, panel 4: "I want my father to praise me" --> "I wanted my father to praise me" for the same reason as above
pg 8, panel 3: "Even now, I still remembered it." --> "Even now, I still remember it" this is the opposite of the other two, as Takeru here is talking about his present self in relation to a past event.
pg 16, panel 5: "you really fall in love with her, don't you." --> "you really fell in love with her, didn't you." Jeanne is talking about something Takasugi has already done, so she should speak about it in the past tense.
There's also some strange word choice or places that should probably be contractions. For example:
pg 8, panel 3: "My father's face lit up" I don't have a concrete change for this, but "lit up" carries an implication that his expression was positive, while contextually the opposite was true.
pg 9, panel 1: "There was not a single praise." --> "I wasn't given any praise." I'm not sure if the sentence used is actually wrong per se, but it certainly is awkward. I'm not sure how it is in Japanese or your 1st language (Indonesian(?)), but in English, I feel like this sentence makes the most sense a) with personal pronouns and b) in terms of giving and receiving, as I feel like praise (as a noun) is most often talked about in terms of possession, giving, and receiving in these sorts of cases rather than mere presence.
pg 11: "Jeanne is kind to everyone without dividing them." --> "Jeanne is kind to everyone without prejudice." This is one of the sentences I found most confusing, but I think it's saying that Jeanne is kind to everyone regardless of who they are, which I feel "prejudice" captures better than "dividing them." You could also drop "without dividing them entirely."
pg 18, panel 5: "I have never seen her too." --> "I've never seen her either." either is used with negative verbs while too is used with affirmative verbs, I'm almost certain that never modifies have to be negative.
pg 18, panel 5: "she would stand out if she is that pretty." --> "she would stand out if she's that pretty" I feel like of all the contractions, this one is the most important. On my first reading, I read the sentence as casting doubt on how pretty Takeru looked, on this second reading, I have doubts that that was intentional. This might just be something with my head (or it might even be just accurate), but this is one of the few times a contraction can change the meaning somebody gets rather than just tone.
pg 19, panel 3: "He is the head of the first year" --> "He's the head of the first year" because "he is" feels a lot more stiff than the situation feels like it should be. Additionally, you could probably change "first year" to "first years" and/or "head of" to "head teacher of," but that's more specific and not as actually helpful for other translations because this may be more of a natural proficiency with English I have as a native speaker that makes me want it to be like this based off of what the translation seems to be saying and not anything more concrete in why it would make sense to change.
pg 19, panel 4: "Thanks, I will ask him!" --> "Thanks, I'll ask him!" for the same reason as above, the lack of contractions just feels stiffer than you would expect from the situation.
pg 20, panel 3: "No... it can't be!" --> "No... that can't be!" I'm gonna level with you, I'm not equipped with the words to explain why "that" is better than "it" here, I'm just pretty certain it is (If I'm wrong somebody please correct me).
pg 21, panel 3: "She asked me what do I like about Jeanne, something like that...!" --> "She asked me what I like about you, things like that...!" I'll start the ending. "Things like that" seems better than "something like that" as Takasugi seems completely sure about what Takeru was asking about and was providing an example. "Something like that" shows a degree of uncertainty about what he was being asked while "things like that" shows that there were other things that he was asked similar to what he said but that he doesn't feel the need to name them. Now I'll do the beginning. The sentence used is awkward because "what do I like about Jeanne" would be basically the exact question he was asked by Takeru, just with "you" changing to "I," so the sentence feels bloated. The purpose of the sentence, however, isn't about the question itself, but about how the questions showed a connection between Takasugi's date and Jeanne. For this reason, I feel like a sentence that has Takasugi paraphrase the question instead of this quasi-repetition is more sensible. If Takasugi is paraphrasing the question and recalling being asked rather than repeating it, you can remove the auxiliary verb "do," which makes it feel more like Takasugi is talking about the nature and content of the questions and reduces the bloat considerably. Next, you can change "Jeanne" to "you" because that's what pronouns are for; he is speaking directly to Jeanne, so it is more natural for him to use the second-person pronoun "you" rather than her name. These two changes make the sentence fit into the conversation in a more natural and neater way than the original.
I am now writing at 11:57 PM, and can feel myself growing more specific and in-depth, so I desperately need to stop now. Sorry if this is too long, too rambly, too generally hard to understand, too pedantic, etc.
The translation was mostly fine and completely understandable (at least to me), but there are several conjugation mistakes, and I feel like it's most notable in the flashbacks/narration where the past and present tenses are used in place of each other, so while you're asking:
pg 3, panel 2: "When people meet me, the Emperor's son, there are two attitudes that they show." --> "When people met me, the Emperor's son, there are two attitudes that they showed." because he is talking about himself in the past
pg 7, panel 4: "I want my father to praise me" --> "I wanted my father to praise me" for the same reason as above
pg 8, panel 3: "Even now, I still remembered it." --> "Even now, I still remember it" this is the opposite of the other two, as Takeru here is talking about his present self in relation to a past event.
pg 16, panel 5: "you really fall in love with her, don't you." --> "you really fell in love with her, didn't you." Jeanne is talking about something Takasugi has already done, so she should speak about it in the past tense.
There's also some strange word choice or places that should probably be contractions. For example:
pg 8, panel 3: "My father's face lit up" I don't have a concrete change for this, but "lit up" carries an implication that his expression was positive, while contextually the opposite was true.
pg 9, panel 1: "There was not a single praise." --> "I wasn't given any praise." I'm not sure if the sentence used is actually wrong per se, but it certainly is awkward. I'm not sure how it is in Japanese or your 1st language (Indonesian(?)), but in English, I feel like this sentence makes the most sense a) with personal pronouns and b) in terms of giving and receiving, as I feel like praise (as a noun) is most often talked about in terms of possession, giving, and receiving in these sorts of cases rather than mere presence.
pg 11: "Jeanne is kind to everyone without dividing them." --> "Jeanne is kind to everyone without prejudice." This is one of the sentences I found most confusing, but I think it's saying that Jeanne is kind to everyone regardless of who they are, which I feel "prejudice" captures better than "dividing them." You could also drop "without dividing them entirely."
pg 18, panel 5: "I have never seen her too." --> "I've never seen her either." either is used with negative verbs while too is used with affirmative verbs, I'm almost certain that never modifies have to be negative.
pg 18, panel 5: "she would stand out if she is that pretty." --> "she would stand out if she's that pretty" I feel like of all the contractions, this one is the most important. On my first reading, I read the sentence as casting doubt on how pretty Takeru looked, on this second reading, I have doubts that that was intentional. This might just be something with my head (or it might even be just accurate), but this is one of the few times a contraction can change the meaning somebody gets rather than just tone.
pg 19, panel 3: "He is the head of the first year" --> "He's the head of the first year" because "he is" feels a lot more stiff than the situation feels like it should be. Additionally, you could probably change "first year" to "first years" and/or "head of" to "head teacher of," but that's more specific and not as actually helpful for other translations because this may be more of a natural proficiency with English I have as a native speaker that makes me want it to be like this based off of what the translation seems to be saying and not anything more concrete in why it would make sense to change.
pg 19, panel 4: "Thanks, I will ask him!" --> "Thanks, I'll ask him!" for the same reason as above, the lack of contractions just feels stiffer than you would expect from the situation.
pg 20, panel 3: "No... it can't be!" --> "No... that can't be!" I'm gonna level with you, I'm not equipped with the words to explain why "that" is better than "it" here, I'm just pretty certain it is (If I'm wrong somebody please correct me).
pg 21, panel 3: "She asked me what do I like about Jeanne, something like that...!" --> "She asked me what I like about you, things like that...!" I'll start the ending. "Things like that" seems better than "something like that" as Takasugi seems completely sure about what Takeru was asking about and was providing an example. "Something like that" shows a degree of uncertainty about what he was being asked while "things like that" shows that there were other things that he was asked similar to what he said but that he doesn't feel the need to name them. Now I'll do the beginning. The sentence used is awkward because "what do I like about Jeanne" would be basically the exact question he was asked by Takeru, just with "you" changing to "I," so the sentence feels bloated. The purpose of the sentence, however, isn't about the question itself, but about how the questions showed a connection between Takasugi's date and Jeanne. For this reason, I feel like a sentence that has Takasugi paraphrase the question instead of this quasi-repetition is more sensible. If Takasugi is paraphrasing the question and recalling being asked rather than repeating it, you can remove the auxiliary verb "do," which makes it feel more like Takasugi is talking about the nature and content of the questions and reduces the bloat considerably. Next, you can change "Jeanne" to "you" because that's what pronouns are for; he is speaking directly to Jeanne, so it is more natural for him to use the second-person pronoun "you" rather than her name. These two changes make the sentence fit into the conversation in a more natural and neater way than the original.
I am now writing at 11:57 PM, and can feel myself growing more specific and in-depth, so I desperately need to stop now. Sorry if this is too long, too rambly, too generally hard to understand, too pedantic, etc.
Member
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- Oct 28, 2023
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Thanks for scanlation. Its been a while
