Silly webcomic idea I wanna share (will add title soon)

[sootesheepy666]

Lets start easy! Main characters!

Basic info:​

Full name: Kirai Smith
Nickname(s): Kirai, kirrie
Preferred nickname(s): n/a
Hidden name: n/a
Birthday: 4/13
Age: 17
Physical age: 17
Gender: male
Sexuality(s): bisexual
Height: 5’6
Weight: 123 lbs (roughly 55 kilos)
Zodiac: Aries
Language(s): english
Voice claim:

Physical info:

Body type: pear shape
Ethnicity: white (irish)
Dominant hand: right
Scars, marks, blemishes: mole under his lip & freckles on his body
Tattoos: n/a
Piercing(s): ear piercings
Eye color: blue
Eye shape: upturned
Hair color: light ginger
Hair length: short
Face shape: heart shape
Skintone: warm ivory


Adulthood info:

Occupation(s): student
Residence: childhood home
Roommate(s): family
Relationship history: a few exes
Relationship status: single
Financial status: upper middle class
Drivers license: yep
Criminal record: n/a
What they look for in a lover: n/a


Extras:

Music taste: lady gaga, wilbur soot, will wood, tally hall
Aesthetic(s): cottagecore, gothic lolita
Hobbie(s): knitting, shit talking, art, collects buttons
Friend(s): lots! (he’s popular in school)
Close friend(s): Sam (other mc)
Habit(s): tugs at his hair when stressed, doodling on classwork, accidentally talking too loud
Fear(s): being disliked, failure
Confidence scale (1-10): 8.5
Vulnerability(s): mentions of his mom (dead), insults aimed at his character
Most prominent personality trait (pos and neg):
Pos- fun, hyper, generous
Neg- minipulative, self centered, cruel

 

[Basic_human]

pear shape

 

[sootesheepy666]

Basic info:​

Full name: Sam Elliot
Nickname(s): n/a
Preferred nickname(s): n/a
Hidden name: n/a
Birthday: 8/28
Age: 17.5
Physical age: 17.5
Gender: male
Sexuality(s): aroace
Height: 5’11 (1.8 meters)
Weight: 140 (63 kilos)
Zodiac: Virgo
Language(s): English, (bad) spanish
Voice claim:


Physical info:

Body type: skinny
Ethnicity: wasian
Dominant hand: ambidextrous
Scars, marks, blemishes: scars on his limbs
Tattoos: n/a
Piercing(s): bridge piercings, ear piercings
Eye color: black
Eye shape: downturned
Hair color: black
Hair length: shoulder blade length (wolfcut)
Face shape: oval
Skintone: porcelain


Adulthood info:

Occupation(s): student
Residence: his house
Roommate(s): his dad
Relationship history: n/a
Relationship status: single
Financial status: lower middle class (borderline poor)
Drivers license: yep
Criminal record: n/a
What they look for in a lover: n/a


Extras:

Music taste:
Aesthetic(s): grunge
Hobbie(s): painting, soccer, piercing, robotics
Friend(s): Kirai (also very popular but doesn’t realize it)
Close friend(s): Kirai (other mc)
Habit(s): Picking at hands and scabs (ew), drumming on surfaces, clicking pens
Fear(s): Heights, drowning, social isolation
Confidence scale (1-10): 5/6
Vulnerability(s): his parents’ divorce, his scars
Most prominent personality trait (pos and neg):
Pos- kind, loyal, somewhat self actualized
Neg- insecure, weak-willed, lazy

 

[sootesheepy666]

"What is the plot?" I hear absolutely nobody asking! Well;

Kirai (mc) has a childhood best friend named Mike, they're always together! But as the two have grown up Kirai has developed some toxic tendancies; he minipulates, whines, and isolates Mike. Mike, knowing his worth, dumps Kirai. He doesn't make a big scene out of it, he just slowly fades out which pisses Kirai off. He keeps trying to get Mike's attention and when one day, he walks into class to see his usual spot taken by another one of Mike's friends showing that he really has moved on, Kirai is forced to sit next to Sam in the only open spot in the room.

Sam is very popular among the girls because he's handsome but his lack of self confidence and intimidating demeanor has caused him to be isolated resulting in his belief that he's unpopular and disliked. He deeply admires Kirai despite never having actually talked to him but he has seen how he acts around others and envies his ability to capture everyone's attention so fearlessly. Kirai begins trying to find someone popular but also like his ex-friend Mike in the hopes that he can make him jealous. When that fails he resorts to finding someone instead, popular and mold-able to make more like Mike. (un)Luckily, there's Sam!

 

[sootesheepy666]

They begin to talk and overtime grow closer. Kirai starts small at first, criticizing a little habit or the way Sam talks. When he sees that Sam really will bend to his will he goes farther and criticizes how he acts, "be braver", "why are you so quite?" stuff like that. Sam at first gets mad but slowly begins to think "If everyone likes Kirai, then what he's saying is true, right?" and so he starts to change himself to fit Kirai's wishes. In the beginning Sam's new attitude is an act that he struggles to uphold but after a few months it becomes second nature until the way he used to be is all but gone, as if it were never there. When Sam's attitude is changed, Kirai pushes it even further pushing him to dress more similar to how Mike did, and to hang out at their old spots and finally, when the "transformation" is complete Kirai gets comfortable and acts toxic in the same ways that pushed Mike away in the first place.

What Kirai doesn't realize is that, the only reason his friendship end with Mike was so polite is because Mike had known him since they were basically toddlers. So, what happens when the person in Sam's shoes doesn't care for Kirai nearly as much as Mike did? Well they turn on him, obviously. Sam enraged by Kirai's treatment of him begins to spread rumors. He lies and manipulates losing many of his friends in the process. Sam's friends leave because nobody wants to stick around with him after he's changed so drastically for the worse. Caught up in his petty revenge, Sam doesn't even realize this. After a few weeks Kirai catches on and confronts Sam... Infront of everyone... They argue in the middle of the cafeteria leading to a major scandal.. The two now begin some weird turf-war trying to get everyone one their side and a first, people side with Kirai after he claims that Sam just went rouge and started bullying him for no reason! Sam however, claims that Kirai was bullying him and being really toxic to the point of making him severely depressed. Both are somewhat correct but very exaggerated.

In the end, everyone gets tired of their childish game and dumps them both. They get suspended for bullying and aren't allowed near each other at school anymore. Kirai gets therapy after realizing how bad he had acted to everyone and does get better but it's hard for people to trust again after Mike exposes the scale of his manipulation and they realize what he did to Sam. Sam works with his father to clear away Kirai's influence on him but it's a hard process. Both slowly get their lives back to normal but it's never the same as before. I imagine that they both grow up to be somewhat well adjusted adults with pretty normal lives!

 

[sootesheepy666]

 

[a_singular_strike]

Alright, here are my unorganized thoughts:
Is their sexuality important if there doesn't appear to be romance? Same thing with Zodiac signs.
Manipulative, not minipulative
Why does everyone need to wear piercings (what I mean is, is it necessary for the portrayel of the character)

Kirai:

• His ethnicity is Irish but he has a Japanese name? Kirai means Hate if I googled it correctly, a bit unrealistic for parents to name their child negatively. I'd use a different name, but just personal opinion.
• His high confidence and his fears clash a little. A confident person has faith in his actions.
• Generous and self-centered also clash a little.
• Cottagecore (didn't know that this existed) and Gothic lolita come from two different sides, if my googleing skills aren't rusty. One dresses simple and comfortable, the other one dresses like nobility. Humans are full of contradicting things but I can't imagine this in fashion.

Sam:

• Fear of heights and drowning are universal fears, no need to add them.
• Self-actualized and lazy?
• He suddenly has friends that leave him?

Idea seems interesting and you put a lot of heart and thought into it. What's good is that you already have an outline of the plot, though it seems like a 'everyone suffers' kind of story which aren't my cup of tea.
Regarding characters (perhaps it helps, I saw it once somewhere): think about their personal philosophy, how they see life and how they would react in different situation. Are they for example utilitarian, hedonistic, solipsistic, stoic, etc.
Do they carry some religious values? This may affect speech (some Christians say "Oh dear" instead of "Oh God"), eating habits, action, beliefs, etc.
Give your characters principals which they live by and adjust their actions accordingly. Their fears can make them act irrational too, for a little bit of spice in your story.

Never forget Chekhovs Gun. Unnecessary detail can sometimes confuse readers about what the story is.

All said, I hope this helps in some way. Go on, you can do this.

 

[sootesheepy666]

All said, I hope this helps in some way. Go on, you can do this.

okie dokie! thank you for the criticism! here's my responses
Zodiac and sexuality aren't important to the story, I just like character building :]
I do suck at spelling </3 and no, not everyone wears piercings, in fact, out of the main cast these two are basically the only ones! It just suits their character :3

About Kirai's name, (I should've put this in the character sheet but couldn't find room) his parents were military! His relationship with his father is rough and even though he's Irish, when his parents had him they'd been in Japan for roughly a decade. His mother died giving birth to him leading to a resentment from his dad so he named him Kirai! (though it is complicated to explain all that so maybe name suggestions?)

Alot of Kirai's personality can be summed up with the word "superficial" I usually base confidence on how the present rather than their true feelings! So, he's insecure inside but outwardly confident, same w/ his generosity. He's very giving with his time and his stuff but it almost always helps him in some way
(and for his fashion, I promise it makes a whole lot more sense if you see the drawings of him lolz)

My bad... I js googled self actualized, I meant "grounded", he is (at least in the beginning of the story) pretty well grounded despite his anxieties. In the story, as he hangs out with Kirai, people begin to talk to him and he comes out of his shell finally! he talks to people and gains friends but at the end, his confidence has gone too far and they don't want to be around him with his toxicity. Him and Kirai share mostly the same friend circle! :]

Also, I totally get it, Im a sucker for the "everyone suffers" narrative but the story does have happy moments and will end with both of them happy ^^ (btw, I promise I'm listening to all ur criticisms I just wanted to clarify some stuffs)

 

[sootesheepy666]

like a 'everyone suffers' kind of story which aren't my cup of tea.
Regarding characters (perhaps it helps, I saw it once somewhere): think about their personal philosophy, how they see life and how they would react in different situation. Are they for example utilitarian, hedonistic, solipsistic, stoic, etc.
Do they carry some religious values? This may affect speech (some Christians say "Oh dear" instead of "Oh God"), eating habits, action, beliefs, etc.

Also, forgot this but Kirai is nonreligious though he was raised Buddhist (will definitely have to research Buddhism though) and Sam is Christian :]
Kirai has a "fake it till you make it"/"bite before you get bit" mentality to life and Sam thinks more like "I want someone better than me to help" (he kinda thinks that having someone "better" than him around will fix all of his issues)

I think if I had to have a song to represent both of them, for Kirai in the beginning it would be "Bravado" by Lorde and at the end it would be "problems" by mother mother! For Sam in the beginning it would "Better than me" by the brobecks or "I deserve to bleed" by sushi soucy and at the end, "wrecking ball" by mother mother! :]

 

[sootesheepy666]

What happens long term??
Kirai second guesses himself very often out of the fear that he'll end up hurt people again, he becomes very conflict avoidant and is sorta a people pleaser. He acknowledges how fucked up what he did is and comes to regret it immensely! As an adult, he'd become an office worker, he's pretty well paid and lives an ok life but ends up with a lot of his co-workers responsibility pushed on him due to being unable to say no!

Sam struggles to unlearn the meanness that Kirai instilled in him and often catches himself thinking cruel things or almost snapping at people. He will have trouble forming meaningful relationships in the fear that they're just manipulating him like Kirai did. His relationship with his father will be strained leading him to get more into contact with his mom but he'll still remain close to him. As an adult, he opens up his own art gallery which allows him to do pretty well! He sells some paintings and works at a grocery store on the side to help Incase he has a dry period for sales.

 

[a_singular_strike]

@sootesheepy666 right now:

 

[sootesheepy666]

@sootesheepy666 right now:

LMAOOO

 

[medalion]

@a_singular_strike did a very good analysis of this. I guess i would parrot his talking point of Kirai making sense. He does seem to be a complex character. If i get this right how he "displays" himself is how he would like to be? And his inner self is how he feels himself? He should then logically have a lot of self hate, very chaotic actions, emotion driven and weird justifications to himself.

Though I too find suffering stories frustrating to read, i need someone likable to root for at least.

 

[a_singular_strike]

Though I too find suffering stories frustrating to read, i need someone likable to root for at least.

For me it's about the theme, the meaning and values the story wants to portray (though not necessarily the morals).
"Everyone suffers, is miserable and stagnates" isn't really a good message, no matter how you want to mince it. Yeah, it has been done, however not as the main theme, but to instead describe the world of the story.
The Dark Souls games, famous for their decaying worlds, have persevearance, change and letting go (especially that one) as their prominent themes; and you can see this: the problem Gwyn caused by not being able to let go of the Age of Fire, Seath with his deep seated obsession at the scales he lacked, humans turning hollow if they give up, etc.

 

[a_singular_strike]

Something to add, story's with negative themes can work, but those tend to be rather short and criticise certain things about society, economy, etc. (or at least can be interpreted that they do).
The works of Hans Christian Andersen ("The Little Match Girl") come to mind. The Lorax in a sense (?) too, but this one ends with a positive note.