Bro got himself a free wife
There's no such thing as a free wife. That reminds me of this story:
One day the First Sergeant called every soldier in the battery to formation. He then went down the lines, telling each and every man--directly to each man's face--how they looked like the sort of man who would pay for sex. When he got to one particularly religious squad leader that NCO responded with, "Not me, Top. I'm a married man."
The First Sergeant replied, "You're the worst sort. You'll be paying for it every single day, for the rest of your miserable life."