Honestly, I don't know what to think.
I like the premise but somehow, the author looks like a virgin, I am as well but I can criticise how bad the eroticism scenes were in this chapter, even ch2 was better than this... lol
How come the translation got so much worse just from adding a shinn into the scanlation... to be precise beyond being guess work is this rewrite since the sentences are completely altered... also those "redraws" did only damage the art...
Also for anyone interested here are the uncensored raws for this: