I mean surely you understand the reasoning behind the "deception"? And its not like Nian actively tried to get in to your pants or anything. It was all you. There was no way for her to know that you would be ok with it (and now, as we've seen, you weren't. Not initially). You built her up in your mind/dreams and now disappointed that its not exactly as you hoped it to be. Sounds like a you problem overall considering otherside is the freaking Emperor not some highshcool girl trying to get by.