Until I Become Me - Ch. 62

[nhansieu1]

It's been 4 months since the last chapter and I have no idea what's going on. Welp guess I'll have to just reread this series for the 15th time, oh woe is me. (Seriously I love this series too much I think I have a problem)

same hahaha.

 

[Hicleric]

When I saw the raw, I thought that the whole wrist thing might foreshadow Akira turning back into a boy, which is something I don't want.

I interpreted it more as her associating the squishy sensation with her (remaining) boy-ness.

(yes, I'm aware that she's like somewhere in the bi realm. I don't think she realizes that it, though, since she still sees her boy and girl desires as separate and incompatible)

That's why it was repeated in the last panel, since it's tied into her decision to finally tell Rumi about her hidden self.

On that note, the last panel, emphasizing the feminine nature of her body, seems to also represent another internal step towards fully accepting her current body. I'm hopeful that we'll finally see some definitive conclusion on that end soon.

 

[Kampfarsch]

YEAH BUDDY

 

[ChristineGuinn]

On that note, the last panel, emphasizing the feminine nature of her body, seems to also represent another internal step towards fully accepting her current body.

She definitely seems to be looking more mature and less childish in that last panel, (even if she's not well-endowed up top.)

 

[CuteGothLolita]

I interpreted it more as her associating the squishy sensation with her (remaining) boy-ness.

I took it to mean that when Akira's hands and wrists pressed against Nasumi's boobs, Akira was surprised about how much bigger and softer Natsumi's boobs have become, since Akira has known her, at least compared to her own modest bust growth. How much of Akira's original male DNA is left in her body, which is gradually being overwritten by her female transformation, may possibility cause her not to ever have large boobs.

 

[katanii]

Thanks for the update

 

[Thrembs]

I interpreted it more as her associating the squishy sensation with her (remaining) boy-ness.

…

I'm hopeful that we'll finally see some definitive conclusion on that end soon.

Yeah.
However.
I’m sure the moment her internal pronoun use changes, the story will be over. What with the title and such.

I’ve mentioned in comments before that first-person pronouns being gendered is a messy thing.
Imagine misgendering yourself all the time out of habit, on top of name stuff.
A Japanese streamer/artist I catch occasionally had transitioned almost a year before a stream I was watching (don’t remember the game)
She used at least 3 different ones in two hours.

I didn’t even speak Japanese internally for 3~4 years. Once I was less self-conscious I spent a couple months speaking it to myself occasionally, trying stuff on. “Uchi” suits my ‘tude.


Doesn’t help that my fav musician is Eikichi Yazawa. One of the few recording artists (regardless of gender) to use “ore”. Like 40 albums of “dude music”…

Most musicians use “boku” because it’s moderately neutral. Well, aside idol stuff, which I never got into…

 

[Azarel-Sama]

Clearly Akira is still having issues with what we in the trans community call "imposter syndrome."
Even though she's 100% physically female, and she acts very feminine now and likes feminine things, she's still worried that if people discover that she was originally a boy, everyone will hate her and abandon her. This has really been a motivating factor for a lot of her actions. She turned down Shouma's confession because she didn't feel "worthy" due to having been a boy originally, and she even goes home and cries afterwards, thinking "if only I had been a girl from the start." (Sorry Akira x Rumi shippers, but she DOES seem to like Shouma, and is even jealous that a kouhai is pursuing him.)

It looks like at the end of this chapter that maybe she's preparing herself to tell Rumi not only that she used to be a bully, but that she was a boy at the time.

I feels like it is not love and more "Feels Loved" since it is Akira first time that someone confess to her. There is no Romantic Spark between them and it is more like Akira feels like she need to reciprocate the love that Shouma give to her. It is love build by pressure. Didn't Akira also said it herself, The Shouma Girlfriend Love is too strong compare to hers. I feels like Rumi x Akira is the Main Ship but knowing Japan... Sigh They will just make it into those "Fake Love for Schoolgirl to prepare them for REAL Love". So you are right, it will be straight not because it is story relevant but because it is how japan view GirlxGirl Relationship. Unless a Story have a Yuri or Girl's Love Tag the chance of it having a Yuri is just 1%. Like for example is Tensei Kyuuketsuki, MC doesn't seems interested in relationship but hey look at that Girl's Love Tag in Genderbend so it will have Yuri. On the other hand Ayakashi Triangle feels extremely gay but there is no Yuri or Girl's Love Tag so they won't show how Suzu literally becoming Gayer every chapter but somehow "Yeah, I still like Male Matsuri". The only example of New Tag getting added Later is just Tensei Pandemic. So yes, the chance of Yuri is Low Sadly. BUT I STILL BELIEVE!!! IN RUMIxAKIRA.

 

[Cyliasta]

Finally!! God i love this series! Keep up the good work and see you guys in 4 months again

 

[Monstrengo]

I feels like Rumi x Akira is the Main Ship

BUT I STILL BELIEVE!!! IN RUMIxAKIRA.

I dunno. We all might get a curveball, and Akira might end up with Aoi's little brother. I've seen it before.

Or she might end up with Kikuchi. We may never know...

 

[TakeiDaloui]

Glad I'm not the only one confused at the chapter's start. Thought I'd missed something. Either way, seems it is getting closer and closer to Akira admitting the truth to Rumi.

 

[Arthemiss99]

Fuck, I don't remember anything lol. Tried reading the last 5 chapters and still don't know what's going on.

 

[Boneless_Pizza_69]

It's been 4 months since the last chapter and I have no idea what's going on. Welp guess I'll have to just reread this series for the 15th time, oh woe is me. (Seriously I love this series too much I think I have a problem)

I just reread the previous chapter.

 

[Aishdoll]

Thank you so much for the chapter

 

[Smileyguy]

I dunno. We all might get a curveball, and Akira might end up with Aoi's little brother. I've seen it before.

Or she might end up with Kikuchi. We may never know...

Somehow I didn't hate the MC getting together with the little brother there.
Felt weird but kinda wholesome at the very end? Idk, maybe it's just me XD.

 

[minmod]

AHH is it finally happening!? Is she finally going to tell Rumi?? I CANT WAIT

 

[ArchivistAlex98]

I'm kind of hoping that when/if an encounter with the girl she bullied happens it's just a complete anti-climax of an event.

Like she either doesn't recognize Akira even when it's brought or she fully remembers it but it just means absolutely nothing and acts like she doesn't remember.

I know it wouldn't be the most interesting end to this thing that has been looming over her head for years but it would be rather fitting in my opinion.

The sudden realization that she's the only one who cared that much and everyone else moved on years ago.

 

[urugiru]

I'm kind of hoping that when/if an encounter with the girl she bullied happens it's just a complete anti-climax of an event.

Like she either doesn't recognize Akira even when it's brought or she fully remembers it but it just means absolutely nothing and acts like she doesn't remember.

I know it wouldn't be the most interesting end to this thing that has been looming over her head for years but it would be rather fitting in my opinion.

The sudden realization that she's the only one who cared that much and everyone else moved on years ago.

Your first scenario seems unlikely because, it is told in the story, particularly you see it in the volume extras, that Akira and Nana were each other's first friends, so they share a bond that, in that context, is tragic given how it ended.
I'm not fond personally of all the mental anguish Akira has needed to carry with her over the whole story, we also get complaints whenever a sad chapter happens, because they tend to cut pretty deep. But that's just me, I'm more of a happy story person, not a drama person.

 

[fulani]

binged this. good read

 

[Senros]

Why's Shion suddenly sulking and skipping school? Did I miss a chapter? Is she that hung up about Akira rejecting her friendship offer?

I thought it was someone else I didn't remember, so thank you for that. Went back to check, and although confusing, she's Shion alright. Man, she looked so different, I truly thought it was someone else.