It's so exhausting waking up and living the same exact day again and again. I can feel the crushing weight of my existence; it's burden, pain, and longing. My greed to grasp the life I want is getting bigger as well as the greed for a better life. I wish my drive and ambition would do the same. I'm not happy with anything I have and know. I'm not sure family and friends can help with this, I feel they orchestrated it to an extent; this miserable and terrifying life of my mine. I don't know what I want or what I deserve. If this is an all time low, then what would you call my whole life?