Sounds like you were made for each other then.
Trouble is every fandom inevitably becomes dominated by terminally online obsessives. Those typically only make up a few percent, but they write most of the posts, and relentlessly evangelise out of context.
Well any simpleton can stick a tube far up their pee-hole to continuously drain urine into a container while they sleep, but those of true vision will see the catheter's unique qualities as a musical instrument, among 999 other uses.
Looks like Christmas came right on schedule this year. A much happier ending than I expected. Somehow it turned out ok for everyone ...Well, except that poor bully-girl who never learned any independence and became a useless single mother. It never worked out for her.