Wait! I could had sworn I read his situation as a curse. I thought he was born with it since it was mentioned that his mother couldn't hold him as a baby. Am I reading this right? Translation error or just a bad reason?
Edit: just reread it and looks like the baby thing was just in my head...
Could the mom had been the thing that kept zens killing impulse in check. That's why she says dont look even though no one can hear her? I'm probably over thinking it but I love the speculation of it lol