341 Sentoudan - Vol. 1 Ch. 7 - REP-007
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Dex-chan lover
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Holy Hell,it's been way too long.
This year,or even this month,seems to be one of many revivals.
This year,or even this month,seems to be one of many revivals.
Dex-chan lover
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- Jan 8, 2023
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Holy shit, thank you for the translation
Quick review of the series. I'm generally liking what I have seen in the volume 1 and would like to see it continued. The art is pretty decent and I like this more gritty depiction of war that doesn't focus on fights between named characters. That being said there's bunch that's wrong with it. The action feels good but lacks weight, mostly because of 2 factors. Firstly I don't know any of these people and what's at stake and second because it's very hard to tell what's actually going on in this last chapter.
For the first problem I think there ought to have been some more groundwork before the first major battle, especially if the focus is to be on the battles which I think it will be. The characters flew by too fast for me to really care about them that much and the entire scenario isn't well established. They are defending along a road and being ambushed and I guess if they lose something will happen?? but the division which is larger formation is right behind our heroes off the battlegroup so even if they lose here do they lose the war etc. How big of a loss is it for the unit to lose 4 tanks, is that a huge problem or a small matter? How many men do they have, is losing a truck full of soldiers a mission failure or just something that happens every day. It's difficult to care about setbacks if you don't know the weight of such setbacks. For the second we really needed to gain some kind of overview of the battle as the audience. It's hard to tell where the friendlies are and what they are doing. It doesn't help that instead of using a more classic shot reverse shot where two people talk or fight lot of the dialogue comes in the form of radio transmissions (which isn't a bad thing) where it's hard to tell who is talking to and to whom. It's not like the tanks or characters of the hero side are exaggerated or something like in a more typical shounen battle series where heroes stand out from the crowd with unique outfits and style to differentiate them from the masses and each other which makes it hard to see at a glance if this retreating tank is the one we just heard reporting in or an entirely different tank all together. It does pretty good job at establishing a chaotic and gritty mood for the scenes but also makes it difficult to follow along or try to "get ahead of the story and author" by trying to guess from the given info on what you would do or what the characters would do.
I think the solution to the second problem especially would be better use of maps. The characters use maps in these last few chapters couple times but they aren't maps intended to convey any info the audience just props for the characters to point at because military people have maps they point at. A proper map scene that shows where the friendlies are and what they are doing would do wonders for the clarity of the scenario. This could be either in universe like they are doing, entirely out of universe just for the audience or some kind of in between with map inside the mind of the commander about what she thinks she should do and where she thinks her units are, essentially showing the readers what the commander is thinking. Better usage of maps would also help with the first problem a bit, namely by clarifying where and why the battle is taking place, what is at stake, where we can expect help or more enemies to come from etc. This could have been done in the barracks chapter earlier and the map there was lot more clear at least giving us some general idea of what is going on. It would have also helped if it was established what kind of equipment and how many men our heroes actually have in the barracks scenes.
For the translator: I think you should have used English names for the units unless the names are pivotal to the story moving forward. The fact that the tanks and units are named in german and sometimes in numbers makes it even more difficult to follow along. Otherwise pretty good job.
For the first problem I think there ought to have been some more groundwork before the first major battle, especially if the focus is to be on the battles which I think it will be. The characters flew by too fast for me to really care about them that much and the entire scenario isn't well established. They are defending along a road and being ambushed and I guess if they lose something will happen?? but the division which is larger formation is right behind our heroes off the battlegroup so even if they lose here do they lose the war etc. How big of a loss is it for the unit to lose 4 tanks, is that a huge problem or a small matter? How many men do they have, is losing a truck full of soldiers a mission failure or just something that happens every day. It's difficult to care about setbacks if you don't know the weight of such setbacks. For the second we really needed to gain some kind of overview of the battle as the audience. It's hard to tell where the friendlies are and what they are doing. It doesn't help that instead of using a more classic shot reverse shot where two people talk or fight lot of the dialogue comes in the form of radio transmissions (which isn't a bad thing) where it's hard to tell who is talking to and to whom. It's not like the tanks or characters of the hero side are exaggerated or something like in a more typical shounen battle series where heroes stand out from the crowd with unique outfits and style to differentiate them from the masses and each other which makes it hard to see at a glance if this retreating tank is the one we just heard reporting in or an entirely different tank all together. It does pretty good job at establishing a chaotic and gritty mood for the scenes but also makes it difficult to follow along or try to "get ahead of the story and author" by trying to guess from the given info on what you would do or what the characters would do.
I think the solution to the second problem especially would be better use of maps. The characters use maps in these last few chapters couple times but they aren't maps intended to convey any info the audience just props for the characters to point at because military people have maps they point at. A proper map scene that shows where the friendlies are and what they are doing would do wonders for the clarity of the scenario. This could be either in universe like they are doing, entirely out of universe just for the audience or some kind of in between with map inside the mind of the commander about what she thinks she should do and where she thinks her units are, essentially showing the readers what the commander is thinking. Better usage of maps would also help with the first problem a bit, namely by clarifying where and why the battle is taking place, what is at stake, where we can expect help or more enemies to come from etc. This could have been done in the barracks chapter earlier and the map there was lot more clear at least giving us some general idea of what is going on. It would have also helped if it was established what kind of equipment and how many men our heroes actually have in the barracks scenes.
For the translator: I think you should have used English names for the units unless the names are pivotal to the story moving forward. The fact that the tanks and units are named in german and sometimes in numbers makes it even more difficult to follow along. Otherwise pretty good job.
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