926563

[MangaDex]

 

[henman]

This has an incredible amount of grammatical errors. Bold for me to say, but even I speak english better, I guess. I'm scared of the thought, how much stress your proofreader will experience, if you will get one.
Also, there are lots of problems about your typesetting. Text on fields is okay, sometimes it's not even needed to explain all these things. But your placing of text in bubbles is horrible. Looks like you never did it before and don't know anything about good practices.
All in all, I strongly recommend you to redo this chapter from the ground up. With good proofreader and good typesetter. I'm serious. You'd better not do next chapter, until this one is redone.
The series seems nice, I would like to read it the future

 

[yurirei]

My apologize if I say something wrong but... Do you guy think the translator is no native English speaker? Something feels really off when I read it. Noble weird collocation is "I'm called XYZ"... Don't mean to discourage them but they must recruit a QC for team (or more).


[Update]
Oh, sb shares the same thinking with me.

 

[Serenata]

Well it looks very cute and the dolphin made it even better (seriously, that attack was necessary hahaha) should be fun!

I noticed the many mistakes but hey, I DID READ the credit page so is not like the translator is not aware... For the typesetting, you could try with Paint Tool Sai 2, here

Spoiler

http://www.mediafire.com/file/35s33sur2eg7xqb/Paint_tool_sai_2.0_%25282019%2529x64_.zip/file

(or you could buy it), it's a simple program, light too you'll learn pretty fast, or with Photoshop in any version, it will help your text looks way more smooth.

I'm not a native english speaker so it would be too insensitive for me to point out the grammatical errors because I'm sure I would miss many ones that imply natural flow.

 

[tkmisere]

Yes, the grammar succ, they should see what is wrong and rearrange it, nothing much, was understandable at least

 

[Abbysmauh]

Jesus, what is her problem... anyways. Blah blah, gammar, blah blah, this seems kinda interesting-cozy to read.

 

[MolesterStallone]

Bear in mind that it's being done by one single person for the community here. I offer him my help and try to do stuff ASAP to make it easier for you guys to read. bashing him, though, isn't really a good feat - especially if one isnt really that proficient in English but still tries his best

 

[issen]

@henman if you would, please tell me here or you can send me a dm.
i don't mind of you being blunt as long as you willingly to point out some of my worst mistake,

and let me tell you that manga is mainly has monotone conversation, so as long i'm know "what should i do with this kinf of pattern" i'm should able to do better next time

 

[henman]

@issen actually your worst mistakes are in your message. While you are writing "is mainly has" and "i'm should", you'd better not publicate your translations in english without a proofreader.
The same is throughout your translation, almost on every page. I'm taking first page only: "I'm lost" should be "I lost", "I am/was supposed" instead of "I supposed" and so on. Also, some of your sentences sound weird in eng, like "today is sunday and I'm just 2nd year middle schooler" or "there's no other choice". They are grammatically correct but they sound weird and/or out of place. I'm not strong in eng myself but I believe you could translate it better to deliver the original meaning. No, I mean, I understand the original meaning, we all can guess it. It's like translating your sentences back to japanese to understand why they were told.
Also, as I said, your text is misplaced all over the chapter. Words touch bubble borders, lines not centered horizontally and/or vertically, in some places you could make better separation at lines. Here's an example

Spoiler

. It would be even better if there was someone experienced beside you to show how it should be corrected. Maybe it's better for you to send your .psd graph. editor files to a good typesetter acquaintance so that they could correct it instead of you.
All in all, I strongly advise you to redo this chapter before proceeding. As others said, it's readable and even enjoyable to an extent, me the reader can understand what you mean with your translation and can endure your editing. But you'd better still not do this alone at this stage.

 

[issen]

@henman thank you really much for your thoughts, i'm really appreciate that and i'll try to improve.
i'm sorry beforehand but i cannot promise to redo this chapter, i may someday but i don't know when,

for misplaced texts, i don't try to justify
myself but
actually i was work on that quite rush, so it may better if i take my time later

and i'm really really appreciate your thoughts about grammar, and i would be delighted if you tell me more about my mistake and how it supposed to be...
and by having correct grammar it encourage me more to translating more chapters

 

[marianolinx]

Nice

 

[Mushroom_X]

Very fun, thanks for the update, i didnt even notice most grammar mistakes cuz i aint native speaker