The delivery of this joke is slightly better than a certain other group's joke version on a different manga, but this lacks punchline. Not to mention the decoder isn't straightforward enough.
I'm astonished by the effort levels on display here, but a joke has to hook the "victim" first. You don't really do that by blatantly saying it.
I suggested "ye olde English" before, but for this type of joke, put some english translations in the sidebars/margins for a few pages. To let readers like me know you did really translate it, while also leaving a code to work with.