Back to Work! - Ch. 17 - Relationship Partner

[Axkmint]

@Ceereus

Why does a crazy ex have to fit your specific definition? Stop being pedantic.

And yes, it has nothing to do with gender. If I broke up with a guy and he showed up at my workplace (after having gone behind my back to find out where my department is, at that) to yell at me about it, he would be a crazy ex. Full stop. That’s not just “embarrassing”, that’s scary. I would be afraid of him showing up to other places. I’d consider filing a police report if he didn’t leave me alone.

Even just imagining trying to break up with a guy and he starts screaming at me and accusing me of cheating then kneeling down on the floor to beg me to stay is awful. Doing all that in public is manipulative. I would break up with him faster for my own safety.

I think because Noa is being portrayed sympathetically, that’s warping people’s perception of her. Is Guwon a bad boyfriend? Yes. For sure. Doesn’t make her actions acceptable.

 

[Ceereus]

@Axkmint It's not my definition of a crazy ex. It's what is generally meant by a crazy ex. It's not someone you've literally not had a conversation with. This is more like a crazy break up than a crazy ex. I think the distinction matters.

If nuance doesn't matter to you why discuss this? It's not that I think Noa's behaviour is acceptable but I understand it because her emotions were played with.

If you want to take everything out of context for the sake of making the actual cause and bad actor in the situation, I guess that's fine. But I don't think it makes any sense to go that far to strip all meaning away from what's actually happening in their situation.

Even in law, there are concepts such as self-defense and mitigating factors 😂

 

[Axkmint]

@Ceereus

I don’t agree with your distinction. She is an ex and she is being crazy therefore she is a crazy ex. “Crazy ex“ has no dictionary definition. Again stop being pedantic.

I wasn’t trying to “discuss” things with you. I was stating my opinion on Noa’s actions because she is legitimately harassing her ex. You’re the one who came in here arguing with me (and anyone else who didn’t share your opinion) and excusing her actions while assuming the worst of Guwon.

Even in context her actions are harassment. Yeah Guwon should learn a thing or two about breaking up tactfully, and? The bigger issue here is still the stalking and the yelling. I would rather have a boyfriend ghost me even worse than Guwon did than harass me and refuse to let me leave him.

 

[Ceereus]

@Axkmint That's not being pedantic, that's a difference of opinion.

If she's a stalker why did he initially agree to meeting up and talking? Why did he allow her to stay in his apartment? Why did he meet up at the restaurant? Of course he didn't allow her to meet him at work but almost everything points to they're in the middle of a break up. So stalker-harasser is a going a bit far.

You're allowed your opinions but when you post in an open thread, when you reply, that's a discussion.

I get it if the actions of Noa are upsetting but she's reacting. She's upset. And there's a reason for it. And if you read her inner thoughts, she knows this is out of character etc

 

[Axkmint]

@Ceereus

If it’s a difference in opinion then stop trying to tell me I’m wrong for calling her a crazy ex. You’re the one who keeps getting hung up on this.

Way to victim blame. “Well you met up before, so it’s not stalking”. Wow. He already broke up with her. Only she thinks she’s still in the middle of a breakup and she’s harassing him instead of letting it end. Yes, going behind someone’s back to find out where they’re at in their workplace is harassment. Yes it is stalking. I would personally consider a police report. I dunno about you but I’m not tryna run the risk of turning into an ex girlfriend murder statistic.

I was responding to this ridiculous gate keeping on your part:
“If nuance doesn't matter to you why discuss this?”
My point is that I don’t have to justify why I’m “discussing” anything because that wasn’t my goal. I gave an opinion, you were the one who started arguing with me.

I don’t care how out of character it is. That makes it worse because it’s like the author is trying to justify her through her inner thoughts. This kind of behaviour shouldn’t be pitiable or lauded. She needs to step back because she’s just going from victim to perpetrator.

My stance is this: Noa’s actions need to be scrutinized and handled properly because they’re dangerous and potentially harmful. We have enough abusive relationships being romanticized in manga/manhwa.

You’re not going to change my mind and your arguments have further entrenched me in my beliefs because it’s shown me that people really are taking her side because the story portrays her as pitiful. I now think it’s more important than ever that she is faced with her mistakes so that readers like you understand that she can be a victim of a shitty relationship, but still an aggressor in the aftermath.

 

[Ceereus]

@Axkmint It matters because you calling her a crazy ex does not make sense in this context.

She can't step back because she thought their relationship was fine and because everything just happened. That's why it doesn't make sense to call her a crazy ex.

Ok, to not gatekeep: it makes no sense to remove all nuance from your comment. It makes it meaningless and I'm not saying that to be harsh. You're only villainizing Noa to victimize Guwon, who never felt in danger only embarrassed.

It's interesting when it comes to what Guwon did you spread the blame with "victim of a shitty relationship" but with Noa it's she's a stalker/harasser/aggressor. She's definitely not an aggressor. Going to someone's workplace once doesn't make her a stalker. Stalking is a pattern of behavior, not a one time thing. Sure, she was unwelcome but a stalker? And you generally don't invite your stalker/crazy ex to your home and out to eat. That's what you do with someone you have ongoing ties with.

Of all the abusive things that you know happen in manhwa, someone breaking after being treated horribly is what you're up in arms about? Using hyperbole and removing all context to the point of making the situation unrecognizable makes it seem like you're just defending Guwon tbh.

I wasn't trying to change your mind. I knew you couldn't be persuaded with how ott you were talking. Not that I ever try to persuade people to change their views lol

 

[Axkmint]

@Ceereus
So is it a difference of opinion or am I not allowed to call her a crazy ex because she doesn’t fit your opinion of a crazy ex? Make up your mind lol

Sorry, if an ex shows up at my workplace to yell at me, even once, that’s harassment to me. Sadly we can’t all be as magnanimous and willing to tolerate things like you.

Like I said, Guwon is wrong but I think Noa is worse, even in context. This shit isn’t okay and I do think it’s harassment and stalking if it happens even once. She methodically asked the front desk where he was. I think refusing to allow him to break up with her and publicly begging him is manipulative.

I am up in arms about this one thing because I’m worried about how the author is portraying it. Guwon is already rightfully villainized so why would I care? I don’t want Noa to be painted like she’s a pitiful person who did nothing wrong. I think it’s harmful to let actions like hers be attributed to “oh she’s having a rough time, it’s his fault for being mean”. His actions are his fault, but her actions are her own fault.

So you’re only here to argue with me...why? Why do you feel the need to cop an attitude with people who have a different opinion than you? Stop responding to me then. I hope a mod prunes us for being off topic, this is embarrassing.

 

[blueoddog]

Well shit she is insaneeee

 

[nobodygattaknow]

both are in the wrong
that's all I wanna say

 

[ElfWastaken]

okay.. at first the dude was an asshole for hiding it for himself and not telling her straight. but this is on another level, lmao. she’s a psycho, sure you’re heartbroken but in no way is this behavior excusable

 

[ElfWastaken]

also, she tried to blackmail him into dating her again, threatening him by telling her and his family. her actions are psychotic

 

[Writerfromanotherstar]

He really wrecked her,,,
I feel bad that she ended up like this and he still acts like she's crazy.
7 fucking years and you've led her on , she probably put in one sided effort for 3 yrs and you're acting like you didn't drive her crazy with this.

I hope she goes to a therapist or someone helps her out mentally. She definitely is losing it

 

[hamster91]

Oh damn....she's like the definition of a crazy ex. All that's missing is a murder weapon