Childhood Friend Dating at the 10th Confession - Ch. 9 - 9th time

[MangaDex]

 

[renkov]

not buying that lmao

 

[DynJarren]

Him getting a girlfriend and eventual wife would take him away as well

 

[exxeld]

That is fucking insane logic lmfao girl risked the chance of MC walking out of your life instantly after you rejected him.

On what Earth would anyone want to continue to orbit the girl that has rejected you and like is flaunting her boyfriend to you.

 

[Shamz]

psh these types of reactions are like, understandable why it can happen but youre still on the wrong for making things complicated.

 

[YourDeadNanForever]

Him getting a girlfriend and eventual wife would take him away as well

That's not what she's getting at.
She worried about entering into a relationship and it not panning out.
People rarely keep in contact with their exes especially when the break up is messy.
She probably just doesn't want to lose a good friend with such a risk

 

[Eighty-six]

That's not what she's getting at.
She worried about entering into a relationship and it not panning out.
People rarely keep in contact with their exes especially when the break up is messy.
She probably just doesn't want to lose a good friend with such a risk

Underlying what your interlocutor pointed out is that asking her out in the first place is already an event horizon for their relationship-- normally, there wouldn't be any "being friends" after a rejection. At best, the relationship gets to linger before it becomes palpable that what the two parties want out of it are too mismatched, and they still grow apart.

 

[Michael_Chandra]

Underlying what your interlocutor pointed out is that asking her out in the first place is already an event horizon for their relationship-- normally, there wouldn't be any "being friends" after a rejection. At best, the relationship gets to linger before it becomes palpable that what the two parties want out of it are too mismatched, and they still grow apart.

Lol I've seen plenty of folks that remained friends after a rejection. As long as the rejection is actually accepted, it's perfectly possible to stay friends then.

 

[Eighty-six]

Lol I've seen plenty of folks that remained friends after a rejection. As long as the rejection is actually accepted, it's perfectly possible to stay friends then.

How much more explicitly do I have to specify that I'm making a generalization in order to preempt others wanting to redundantly chime in with "I know cases to the contrary"? I even made sure to emphasize the "normally".

 

[Michael_Chandra]

How much more explicitly do I have to specify that I'm making a generalization in order to preempt others wanting to redundantly chime in with "I know cases to the contrary"? I even made sure to emphasize the "normally".

And I'm saying that I disagree with your normally claim. Because normal people CAN remain friends even after rejection. How much more explicitly do I have to specify that those that are so obsessed with rejection that they can't remain friends because they torpedo the friendship, are the abnormal ones?

 

[Eighty-six]

And I'm saying that I disagree with your normally claim. Because normal people CAN remain friends even after rejection.

Just because they CAN, doesn't "normally" mean they DO. Exceptions don't refute the norm, and I already implicitly accounted for the exceptions.

If someone is confessing to another person, they obviously don't want to be "friends", at least if they can help it-- or else they wouldn't have made a confession in the first place. The attraction to the other also precedes the confession.

If they get rejected, then there's an obvious mismatch between what the two parties want from their relationship that's now been made apparent. Even if the confessor "accepts the rejection", it's not expected that they also immediately and thoroughly throw away the feelings that led them to confess in the first place, don't feel bad for being rejected, or somehow forget the pain of rejection-- especially when they're constantly reminded of it because their friendship was one wherein that rejection took place. They'll be reminded again if and when the other person seeks intimate relationships with others, or whenever they are in intimate relationships with others, or when they get married. Continued friendship is necessarily a "consolation prize" if only in that moment, regardless of how at peace they may be about it-- if it wasn't, then they wouldn't have bothered confessing in the hopes that their relationship would be changed from that of friendship.

The person who rejects the confessor has to deal with the fact that they hurt the other person in rejecting them (even though it's their right to choose who they want to be in an intimate relationship with). The way they look at the other person is significantly changed, since they probably didn't suspect that they harbored those feelings. They can end up considering the motivations of the other party-- both present and past-- as ulterior, and they may even be correct. The worst case scenario is where the rejecting party knowingly leverages the affections of the rejected party for their own convenience.

The reason I charge that the dissolution of friendships in the wake of a rejection is normal, is because maintaining a friendship after a failed confession is obviously an uphill battle given the material matters to reckon with. Both parties need to really want it.

Lastly, not every dissolution is going to be a "torpedoing". Most of the time, such friendships just wane peacefully.