Cupid's First Love - Oneshot

[undeed]

And that's just cliche obvious stuff,

thank you captain obvious
that's why I said

I'm afraid dragging the romance after that end scene, or adding more details in between for serialization might just decrease the charm.

learn to read

 

[ARealCoolGuy]

learn to read

Pretty sure I read this part

I mean... where to go after that?

Which I thought was the main thrust of what you were saying, or are you arguing that every single one of my thought up suggestions would be bad and take away the charm? Despite the fact that they're cliche, I don't think you could, in good faith, say that would be the case.

Also, my point was less that each of those plots would be fantastic, and more that there's plenty of room for development, and it seems obvious that is the case - so I don't know what you're acting like some offended big brain intellectual for.

... But speaking of decreasing charm.

thank you captain obvious

learn to read

Pfft, very nice. Is simply not responding and ignoring a comment, instead of being an obnoxious wank, too much for you?
Learn to take even the slightest differing opinion with some grace.

 

[DROID.EXE]

Oh fucking great googly moogly I need this in my life

 

[Sollertia_]

Hmm it's an OK one-shot, but I can't say that I'm looking forward to a serialisation. Maybe it's the dialogue writing but something gives me the feeling that the author still has a ways to go ngl

 

[Snowave]

 

[schmackinthedack]

Aight, cancel rent a gfand start serializing this one please
Thanks for the translation

dont even need to serialize this one just cancel that damn travesty altogether

 

[Angelonius]

Serialize this!
Also, why does she resemble Mogador from Kantai Collection?

 

[ansonh92]

I can't see how this can go beyond 2 volumes.

 

[dbzclamp]

Artist clearly has a type

 

[Trash_Connoisseur]

Incredible chapter

* looks inside *

Oneshot.
They did it again...

 

[_Dky_]

huh...

it's cute alright
but... serialization...?

I mean... where to go after that?

I'm afraid dragging the romance after that end scene, or adding more details in between for serialization might just decrease the charm.
Converting it to Shonen? with the boy as some kind cupid's assistant ?

if the utter slop Rent a GF can get 380+ chapters this can get a 50 to 75 run altlest

 

[kciaar]

it's so peak tho...

 

[TheTopAdventure]

 

[totalywasted]

really hope this gets more chapters soon

 

[tekumo]

pleaseee get serializationnn 😭😭

 

[Sunspawn]

the regime knows best

The Bibi Netaniyahu regime?

 

[Sunspawn]

Oh this one is a lot of fun, I hope it gets picked up.


Seriously? Just off the top of my head there's stuff like:

• The MC's and FMC's history together,​
• Why is the MC so obsessed with beating her,​
• The FMC chasing the MC and trying to get together with him,​
• Do the Arrows power stay permanently? Or will the FMC wake out of it,​
• When will the MC realise his feelings and also fall for her?,​
• Will the MC feel like their feelings for eachother are fake because of the arrow?,​
• What's the morality of the arrow and forcing people's feelings?,​
• The MC's attempts at beating her in archery - and other rival-like acts,​
• The school's reaction to MC and FMC, don't forget she has a 'fan club',​
• What does the FMC's job as cupid look like normally?,​
• What's the MC's background like, what's his family like?,​
• Similarly, what about the FMC and her family?,​
• Why are they Cupids?,​
• Normal school shenanigans like tests, and school trips.​

And that's just cliche obvious stuff, I'm sure the author would have some actual character and plot development that would take an entire arc as well.
To me, it seems like it has plenty more to go with it's setting.

None of that is particularly interesting though.

I'd rather read a story where the dude just outright isn't interested romantically and instead focuses on wanting to beat her through his skills.

 

[ARealCoolGuy]

None of that is particularly interesting though.

I'd rather read a story where the dude just outright isn't interested romantically and instead focuses on wanting to beat her through his skills.

Sure, but my point was that there's plenty of room for development of the story, which I think you also would agree with.

And while I think the idea of him pushing the FMC away to try and beat her at something is good, I think it'd be pretty anti-climatic for him to outright deny any romantic interest in her, but that's just me.