Danjo-hi 1:39 no Heikou Sekai wa Omoi no Hoka Futsuu (Fan Colored) - Vol. 2 Ch. 147 - Miku VS Misaki

[MangaDex]

 

[Geako]

This chapter Miku's face was too Dark. Contrast was way too off. So, i draw sky in back of her and Lens Flare upon Her, to harmonize all.


Strongest Guard Sumire is coming soon.

 

[dimox]

Just when I thought Miku's most distracting feature couldn't draw any more attention.
What a miscalculation I made...

Nice job highlighting her assets even more in the process.

 

[shumuck]

Looks great! Can't wait to see more Momozono she's best girl imo, the cutest.

 

[MrTurtleMan]

 

[dimox]

A few things...

First: Page 4, Misaki saying:
"So this relationship is the one who broke..."

The relative pronoun "who" is used when refering to people (in a broader sense also for living beings like animals, but only under conditions). In this context it would refer to "relationship"... you would use "that" in this case:
"So this relationship is the one that broke..."
On that matter, I have another thought - using "the one" here implies that their relationship is either the first and/or the only one being able to break the "Law of the Breasts". I don't know the native text, but that's quite a statement for Misaki to make. If her words are more generally saying "it's one of those relationships overcoming the law..." then I would remove that "the"
"So this relationship is one that broke..." - but that's more of a nuance.

In fact, depending on the native text, you could even shorten it completely:
"So this relationship broke the Law of the Breasts?!"

Still, even if you don't want to shorten it, the "who" should be replaced with "that".

Second: Page 5, Misaki saying:
"I'm the only woman whose Onii-san said..."
Could you check that one? If it's phrased like that, Misaki talks as if she was his little sister. It could be her delulu, but it would make much more sense if she said "to whom" instead of "whose" here...

 

[Kaiserwald]

A few things...

First: Page 4, Misaki saying:
"So this relationship is the one who broke..."

The relative pronoun "who" is used when refering to people (in a broader sense also for living beings like animals, but only under conditions). In this context it would refer to "relationship"... you would use "that" in this case:
"So this relationship is the one that broke..."
On that matter, I have another thought - using "the one" here implies that their relationship is either the first and/or the only one being able to break the "Law of the Breasts". I don't know the native text, but that's quite a statement for Misaki to make. If her words are more generally saying "it's one of those relationships overcoming the law..." then I would remove that "the"
"So this relationship is one that broke..." - but that's more of a nuance.

In fact, depending on the native text, you could even shorten it completely:
"So this relationship broke the Law of the Breasts?!"

Still, even if you don't want to shorten it, the "who" should be replaced with "that".

Second: Page 5, Misaki saying:
"I'm the only woman whose Onii-san said..."
Could you check that one? If it's phrased like that, Misaki talks as if she was his little sister. It could be her delulu, but it would make much more sense if she said "to whom" instead of "whose" here...

I've checked the last part: chapter 139 "The Inner Beast", page 7, where the MC nonchalantly allows Misaki to call him "Onii-san". Obviously, she, who's no less crazy about men than her peers are, takes it as if he's her actual brother now. Thus she's the only woman whose brother said some made-up stuff.

 

[dimox]

I've checked the last part: chapter 139 "The Inner Beast", page 7, where the MC nonchalantly allows Misaki to call him "Onii-san". Obviously, she, who's no less crazy about men than her peers are, takes it as if he's her actual brother now. Thus she's the only woman whose brother said some made-up stuff.

Mh... yes, that could be. Then it would be her delusion talking

Still, she's calling him "Onii-san" here. We know that term does not just mean "brother" in Japanese, it's also used by someone of younger age when referring to an older male, up to young adults in their twenties or something - older men would be called ojisan (uncle) instead. And that's probably what Sou thought about this. It's a normal thing for him. Allowing it might still indicate more in the 1:39 world. Because a young female simply talking to a non-related young man is already quite unusual in itself.

Anyhow, I think if she actually meant to call him her "older brother" for real here, she'd use "Onii-chan" or Nii-san instead - and instantly get lynched by Sakura for stepping into her territory, lol. That's why I wanted it verified against the original text.

 

[MarqFJA87]

A few things...

First: Page 4, Misaki saying:
"So this relationship is the one who broke..."

The relative pronoun "who" is used when refering to people (in a broader sense also for living beings like animals, but only under conditions). In this context it would refer to "relationship"... you would use "that" in this case:
"So this relationship is the one that broke..."
On that matter, I have another thought - using "the one" here implies that their relationship is either the first and/or the only one being able to break the "Law of the Breasts". I don't know the native text, but that's quite a statement for Misaki to make. If her words are more generally saying "it's one of those relationships overcoming the law..." then I would remove that "the"
"So this relationship is one that broke..." - but that's more of a nuance.

In fact, depending on the native text, you could even shorten it completely:
"So this relationship broke the Law of the Breasts?!"

Still, even if you don't want to shorten it, the "who" should be replaced with "that".

Second: Page 5, Misaki saying:
"I'm the only woman whose Onii-san said..."
Could you check that one? If it's phrased like that, Misaki talks as if she was his little sister. It could be her delulu, but it would make much more sense if she said "to whom" instead of "whose" here...

It's honestly both refreshing and surprising to see someone as meticulous as I am with constructive criticism of fan translations. Even more impressive is the fact that you're much more elaborate in your explanation than I would've been.

 

[Geako]

Looks great! Can't wait to see more Momozono she's best girl imo, the cutest.

There is long time before Yuri arrives in Re-Colored world. Until this

Spoiler: Momozono Yuri

 

[dimox]

It's honestly both refreshing and surprising to see someone as meticulous as I am with constructive criticism of fan translations. Even more impressive is the fact that you're much more elaborate in your explanation than I would've been.

You could say I have too much time

On a more serious note - I wouldn't go that far for just any project. When it comes to a series that I enjoy reading you will see me dropping my five cents here and there. It's rarely to this extent, though. But I like the original work and Geako is putting in some serious effort to make his version an even better experience. So this is my way of showing respect, because I cannot really help with creative work - other than increasing Geako's workload by asking for stuff like adding bubble heads, lol >_<

 

[Geako]

You could say I have too much time

On a more serious note - I wouldn't go that far for just any project. When it comes to a series that I enjoy reading you will see me dropping my five cents here and there. It's rarely to this extent, though. But I like the original work and Geako is putting in some serious effort to make his version an even better experience. So this is my way of showing respect, because I cannot really help with creative work - other than increasing Geako's workload by asking for stuff like adding bubble heads, lol >_<

Thanks for support But grammatical corrections are biggest bummer while drawing. Because You draw pages, upload it. Upload and see, you uploaded an unfinished work, then upload again. Now, you can see some more defects and corrections needed. Your Third upload is usually correct one.

Then there is grammatical one. all process the opening file, editing dialog boxes. Resetting color, making new raw file, saving and replacing old .jepg file. Then uploading on Website again. Mind-burn!!
Every chapter same thing.

Another thing that:-

It's mountain-> It's Impossible -> It's being done -> I can do it. -> It's almost over -> I don't have patience to finish it. -> I already hate it. -> I want to move another drawing.

2 days later -> Who did drew this, It's so beautiful that I can't believe it's made by me. -> I am already fan of this work. -> It's too beautiful.

To be honest, During drawing, Eyes are looked "Inspection Mode", I do not see "Color relativity" as ordinary people see. I see color shades 'unpolluted' by surronding and percieve real colors. It's different kind of "vision' I have devloped. Lol.

Real Beauty, of my drawing is available after someone for me.