Erika Won't Back Down - Vol. 1 Ch. 2 - The Abysswalkers

[MangaDex]

 

[Septazia]

shit that i made

I was and still am a bit taken back, but figured since the author himself is posting it, it was worth discussing.
Is a lot of genres

Psychological Romance Comedy Crime Mafia Video Games Drama School Life Supernatural Gyaru

and maybe Tragedy too?

So the story starts far ahead and then goes back, in medias res, not usually a fan of these because all too often I see authors, especially in Manga, who have a premise but no actual idea on how to finish it.
This seems more of a stinger to have a little twist right away, given Chapter 1 and 2 context, it could just be anything or nothing, they are playing a videogame, cosplaying even.

The story seems to try and throw a lot of mini twists : "is a spy drama....no she is gamer...she is a slut...she is looking for a game rival...she needs money for the hospital....she is offered money to work in a host club....she might be getting involved with the mafia".
I think one ought to be careful with twists, I don't know what are the rules on how to handle them because you can find someone that breaks them and put everything into question, for example one when doing a genre X should maintain a certain vibe, movie wise because of ingrained association a certain type of music, colors or camera angles might not fit a certain genre.
For example, Hideo Kojima, its games have very serious themes and then steer into the comedy of bizarre and absurd is very hard to pull off, or when in "Once upon in Hollywood" the movie seems to turn into an horror one for a brief moment.

The girl has a very odd attitude, openly gambling at school, proposing to sell her body, trying to frame everything into a videogame reference, I am not sure yet whether I like her or not, I feel that irony and sarcasm has poisoned Media over the last.....almost 20 years, so I don't know if I am seeing something genuine yet.

Compared to a lot of other self published stuff is certainly better, just by virtue of not being 1-2 pages where the only thing that changes is the dialogue boxes.
The jaded in me imagines that there will be extra Fanbox chapters, but it doesn't seem like you drew all this and made the plot as a thin excuse to make that, is certainly a lot of work and it would make perfect sense to have that while releasing this for free.

In short and conclusion: hope you know where the story is going, please don't just try to out-twist yourself because that's how knots are made, good art, I felt an improvement over chapter 1 already in the sense that characters didn't seem to mix well with their surroundings then (but what do I know, I can't even draw), thanks for making it, translating it and posting it yourself.

Good luck with your Patreon.

P.S.
I don't know how is done, but usually artists have a BIO with useful links like their Fanbox, you should figure out how to get yours included so people can reach it more easily.
example: https://mangadex.org/author/ab7d4ef1-9d3e-4c66-aece-2a972c40ce0a/tetsukazu

You also forgot to put your patreon in the credits this time, but boy does it really need to be 4 pages? Why not make a single long one, is not like the website doesn't support them, it has Manhwa.

 

[SakinoYumeko]

Thank you so much for your critique and compliments!

I admit that i was influenced by a lot of things when i first conceived the idea of this story, and honestly to this day after i finished storyboarding chapter 4, i'm still struggling to form the "vibe" for this manga lol. But, if anything to go by, it's should be a mix of Breaking Bad, Soulsborne, RGG, a hint of Tarantino's, and a visual direction of Aimer's "Zankyou Sanka" if it's colored, it's a mixed bag af lmao.

It is very understandable that you also find Erika odd tbh, especially at this point of the story. Also currently, i don't have the capability to make the pacing quicker to cater wider audience, so i end up spending chapter 1 wholly to set up everything that will happen in the future lol. One thing for sure is that, she perceives almost everything game-way thanks to her past.

Oh yeah i am more or less already set how the ending will be, and due to how i put tons of groundwork (at least what i'd like to think) in earlier chapters, i intended for people to re-read past chapters to make sure of it again lol. Personally i think it's best to read or re-read this manga after the whole volume 1 is complete, because i planned the story structure to hit a crescendo at Chapter 4.

P.S.
No there are no additional pages on my Patreon/Fanbox currently, there are only seggs scenes lol. Eventually, there will be a bonus seggs pages that taken from the story for gooning purpose later on, but it won't have any impact to the overall story at all.
Also it's 4 pages because i uploaded it to mangaplus too, so i kinda can't make it single long one.

Thanks again, mate!

 

[Septazia]

Thank you so much for your critique and compliments!

I admit that i was influenced by a lot of things when i first conceived the idea of this story, and honestly to this day after i finished storyboarding chapter 4, i'm still struggling to form the "vibe" for this manga lol. But, if anything to go by, it's should be a mix of Breaking Bad, Soulsborne, RGG, a hint of Tarantino's, and a visual direction of Aimer's "Zankyou Sanka" if it's colored, it's a mixed bag af lmao.

It is very understandable that you also find Erika odd tbh, especially at this point of the story. Also currently, i don't have the capability to make the pacing quicker to cater wider audience, so i end up spending chapter 1 wholly to set up everything that will happen in the future lol. One thing for sure is that, she perceives almost everything game-way thanks to her past.

Oh yeah i am more or less already set how the ending will be, and due to how i put tons of groundwork (at least what i'd like to think) in earlier chapters, i intended for people to re-read past chapters to make sure of it again lol. Personally i think it's best to read or re-read this manga after the whole volume 1 is complete, because i planned the story structure to hit a crescendo at Chapter 4.

P.S.
No there are no additional pages on my Patreon/Fanbox currently, there are only seggs scenes lol. Eventually, there will be a bonus seggs pages that taken from the story for gooning purpose later on, but it won't have any impact to the overall story at all.
Also it's 4 pages because i uploaded it to mangaplus too, so i kinda can't make it single long one.

Thanks again, mate!

Interesting, I hope you make it work, is understandable to not know how the goal in a story will be reached. I look forward to the next chapter, I will be reading it.

Mangaplus eh? Well then there should be a way to have the link to that as well and then eventually Bookwalker.
I suppose you could link it on reddit.com/r/Manga see if that gives it more exposure. (the gallery function in the post doesn't support 43 pages btw)
example of such a Manga with all the right links https://mangadex.org/title/d68f0bfb...d2e/magokoro-scramble-what-lies-in-your-heart

Gotta say though, I for one prefer reading it like this, as a single page book, I find the infinite scrolling to mess with the pacing and it takes away attention from the story/art.
I hope these tips don't sound patronizing.

I was checking on your profile, I am impressed at how you are juggling between this and commissioned art and animations too, I hope you got a comfortable pacing.

 

[SakinoYumeko]

Interesting, I hope you make it work, is understandable to not know how the goal in a story will be reached. I look forward to the next chapter, I will be reading it.

Mangaplus eh? Well then there should be a way to have the link to that as well and then eventually Bookwalker.
I suppose you could link it on reddit.com/r/Manga see if that gives it more exposure. (the gallery function in the post doesn't support 43 pages btw)
example of such a Manga with all the right links https://mangadex.org/title/d68f0bfb...d2e/magokoro-scramble-what-lies-in-your-heart

Gotta say though, I for one prefer reading it like this, as a single page book, I find the infinite scrolling to mess with the pacing and it takes away attention from the story/art.
I hope these tips don't sound patronizing.

I was checking on your profile, I am impressed at how you are juggling between this and commissioned art and animations too, I hope you got a comfortable pacing.

Please look forward to future chapters, i'm making sure to deliver it to you and readers expectations :>

I'm actually happy that you're spending some time to write out all those feedback, tips, and how you feel about this manga because i usually don't get those :')

Thanks again, and i'll try to do the reddit thingy as well!

 

[SakinoYumeko]

Interesting, I hope you make it work, is understandable to not know how the goal in a story will be reached. I look forward to the next chapter, I will be reading it.

Mangaplus eh? Well then there should be a way to have the link to that as well and then eventually Bookwalker.
I suppose you could link it on reddit.com/r/Manga see if that gives it more exposure. (the gallery function in the post doesn't support 43 pages btw)
example of such a Manga with all the right links https://mangadex.org/title/d68f0bfb...d2e/magokoro-scramble-what-lies-in-your-heart

Gotta say though, I for one prefer reading it like this, as a single page book, I find the infinite scrolling to mess with the pacing and it takes away attention from the story/art.
I hope these tips don't sound patronizing.

I was checking on your profile, I am impressed at how you are juggling between this and commissioned art and animations too, I hope you got a comfortable pacing.

No luck on that subreddit lol, i can't share my own series XD