Well he'd be a creature card, probably with at least something like Haste and First Strike. Then perhaps Ward and Cannot be Blocked and maybe Infect."We have to make him a common." The common in question.
I actually have no idea if his card is this good, but it better be. But this card is absolutely game warping, to the point it has long since been bumped up to Rare and then Mythic Rare, because oops "deniable card draw" is actually busted as hell "taxes that you can bribe your way out of" instead.
The joke was more about power level at common than specific card types. Putting the text into a translator, it looks like he might be unblockable with conditional Hexproof but given that I don't know that game's rules I'm mostly just guessing on how those translate over to Magic. So Invisible Stalker, but slightly worse? Not that the Stalker isn't terrifying already, you see that hit the table you know something degenerate is about to happen.
Right if they at least had him have a bad personality or aliens be a little bit of a piece of shit this could be funny but putting down a character how's essentially a really good guy over and over again becomes less funny as time goes on
From google translate, it says the attack ignores "targeting restrictions" (I think google translate can't translate this properly) and "While you control other allies, this card cannot be chosen as an attack target" which is pretty good besides the fact that you'd probably have to spend cards to make him attack more than once per turn and his attack power is 1...
