Japanese relate on an emotional level very different to us in the states. But this arc hurts my heart so much. I was a semi-famous underground punk-grind-nintendocore artist. I let shit get to my head. Every night 300 people or so would praise me like a god. We played a fest with over 4000 people. Sold $3000 worth of merch. Bullshitted the last $500 buy drawing stuff. Band was me on vocals/guitar...and I wrotw 90% of everything, keyboardist and vocalist who wrote 9%, bassist and back up guitarist who wrote a little but dude was super talented. And drummer who just played what I wrote. I ended up sleeping with the keyboardist's girlfriend while totally fucked on drugs. I confessed to him after banging her a few more times. My wife was pregnant. She eventually found out. About killed myself. This was 13 years ago. Now I have 3 kids. My wife is my entire world. Things can work out.