Man, this is a very difficult translation to read.
Like the literal word-for-word translation of comet as "broom star", when instead it needed if anything a more figurative translation than "comet" (or better a TL note reminding us of a comet's mythological role as a bringer-of-calamity)...
On the other hand it seems like it might be about appropriate quality for what the source work deserves. ~w~